Preventing Circumcision and International Flight

[anxiousinfla]

My question involves paternity law for the State of: FL

I had an affair with a married woman who is now pregnant with a boy that I believe to my child (90%+ confidence). She ended the affair and has not informed her husband of the potential non-paternity and is determined to reconcile her issues with their marriage and wishes to conceal the affair and my potential paternity.

I understand that until I establish paternity, I am legally a stranger.

Here is my dilemma. I am opposed to circumcision and believe that it child abuse. Both she and her husband believe in circumcision. I wish to prevent that procedure from being done, but believe that until such time as paternity is established, I have no legal influence on "medical" decisions.

Added to this dilemma is the fact that she is a foreign national with no ties in the US other than her husband who is a US citizen. I am concerned that if I file court paperwork before the birth, her husband will leave her and she will return to her home country and have the baby there. Her home country is a Hague Convention signatory, but paternity testing and visitation may be problematic and complicated...and I fear that I won't be able to prevent the circumcision if she leaves the country.

There is a small chance that I am not the biological father. Because of that small chance, I am reluctant to damage her efforts to heal their marriage. But, protecting the child and my parental rights is more important to me than enabling her to protect the secret of our affair.

Can I prevent the circumcision and prevent her return to Europe until the paternity is established? Many thanks.

[Penney]

My question involves paternity law for the State of: FL

Can I prevent the circumcision and prevent her return to Europe until the paternity is established? Many thanks.

Obviously you need to contact a lawyer in florida ASAP. In the meantime, check out these forms:

http://www.flcourts.org/gen_public/f...rules/983a.pdf
http://www.flcourts.org/gen_public/f...rules/941a.pdf
http://www.flcourts.org/gen_public/f...rules/941b.pdf

http://www.flcourts.org/gen_public/f...es/index.shtml

[Dogmatique]

There is no child, and hence the State cannot prevent Mom from traveling abroad and giving birth somewhere else.

As it stands, her husband will be the child's legal father. By the time any paternity action is heard, the circumcision will likely have gone ahead and even if you could somehow get an emergency restraining order (extremely unlikely), you'll have to convince the court why the child should not be circumcised.

[anxiousinfla]

Thank you so much Penney. I intend to engage a lawyer shortly, I was hoping to get a sense of the likelihood that I would be able to get an injunction to prevent the circumcision until such time as paternity is determined...and to prevent international departure. Complex questions...I know. I guess I was hoping to get some comfort that this would be possible.

thanks

[Dogmatique]

Again, nobody can prevent your ex from leaving the country. That would be unconstitutional. She is, as a human being, free to travel when and where she wishes provided she obeys travel laws etc.

I'll be blunt - I think you have no chance whatsoever. Sorry.

[Penney]

Again, nobody can prevent your ex from leaving the country. That would be unconstitutional. She is, as a human being, free to travel when and where she wishes provided she obeys travel laws etc.

But can't he file the temporary order to prevent removal of the minor the second the child is born?

[Dogmatique]

This is an intact marriage and the husband is considered to be the legal father - the court is not going to restrain the legal parents until parentage is disestablished. And this also assumes that Mom is going to keep him informed as to the birth etc....

There's no harm in OP talking to a local attorney though, absolutely!

Just to add:

Even if the court ordered no circumcision (which frankly is more than a little unlikely in this country), all Mom needs to do is take the child to her local pediatrician who will not be bound by any court order...and have it performed anyway.

She's not going to lose custody over it, so...OP must ask whether this in particular is worth pursuing.

It may be best simply to focus on waiting until the child is born, and then filing for DNA paternity testing.

[anxiousinfla]

Thank you Dogmatique. I was afraid of that. I fear that I've made quite a mess of things and notwithstanding my earnest desire to be a supportive and protective father, things are out of my control. This is an unpleasant place to be.

Can anyone recommend an efffective way to obtain an emergency restraining order or how I might be able to convince the court that circumcision is undesirable?

[CourtClerk]

But can't he file the temporary order to prevent removal of the minor the second the child is born?

So she leaves before there is a child...

[Dogmatique]

Thank you Dogmatique. I was afraid of that. I fear that I've made quite a mess of things and notwithstanding my earnest desire to be a supportive and protective father, things are out of my control. This is an unpleasant place to be.

Can anyone recommend an efffective way to obtain an emergency restraining order or how I might be able to convince the court that circumcision is undesirable?

I cannot see any grounds for any sort of emergency restraining order.

Really though - about the circumcision...you have a battle on your hands. It is customarily performed when the child is only a couple of days old and the chances of you being able to file anything at all before it actually happens are virtually nil. And that's even if you have standing to file anything. The child will have a legal father the very second he is born, and the court isn't going to allow a third party to interfere with the decisions of the legal parents.