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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Dec 2010
    Location
    Tennessee
    Posts
    3

    Default When Will a Court Order Supervised Visitation

    My question involves a child custody case from the State of: Tennessee
    The father of my 3 year old son lives in my house in Tennessee (I own the home). I am considering making him leave because he has a lot of anger issues. He has threatened to sue me for custody if I make him move out (we are not married). He has been arrested 4 times for threatening/assault on other people. He endangers the safety of our son by not watching him when they are together, leaving loaded firearms in his vehicle when the child rides with him (he has a permit to carry). I limit the places he is allowed to take him (short trips to grocery store, bank, etc.) in public, close to home. He has also lashed out at him once hitting him with a leather strap for touching his stuff. He also acts in ways that is inappropriate, ie walks around with no underwear/ pants on. The few times my son has slept with him (we do not sleep in the same room), he sleeps nude (I do NOT feel that there is risk of sexual abuse, just inappropr). I have talked to him about taking parenting classes, but he does not believe he needs them. Can he get shared custody and is supervised visitation possible until the child is old enough to protect himself better?

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Location
    Somewhere near Canada
    Posts
    35,894

    Default Re: When Will a Court Order Supervised Visitation

    But you DO let him have your son unsupervised - this sets a precedent that will now be very difficult for you to overcome.

    Supervised visitation is unlikely. Some sort of joint custody is likely.
    An intelligent hell would be better than a stupid paradise - Victor Hugo

    Do not microwave grapes

  3. #3

    Default Re: When Will a Court Order Supervised Visitation

    Quote Quoting hrenee122
    View Post
    The father of my 3 year old son lives in my house in Tennessee (I own the home). I am considering making him leave because he has a lot of anger issues.
    Via a legal eviction, right?

    He has threatened to sue me for custody if I make him move out (we are not married).
    He may or may not win full custody, but if he's the child's father, you can count on court ordered visitation IF he's willing to establish paternity and request such (and be exposed to court ordered child support).

    He has been arrested 4 times for threatening/assault on other people.
    Before or after you made the child with him?

    He endangers the safety of our son by not watching him when they are together,
    If you chose a father who is lax in watching him by your standards, then you need to either convince him of the importance of watchful parenting, or watch him yourself. If you choose to leave the child with him, that'll tell the court that you're ok with his skills/management - so you've got to make up your mind whether he's capable or not, and act/adjust accordingly.


    leaving loaded firearms in his vehicle when the child rides with him (he has a permit to carry).
    Are they unsecured? In the glove compartment? Trigger lock? Is the child restrained in a car seat? In other words, is the child within reach and capability of accessing the firearm?


    I limit the places he is allowed to take him (short trips to grocery store, bank, etc.) in public, close to home.
    So obviously you're ok with the child being in the car with the loaded firearm. Again, you'll have to make up your mind on these issues. You can't complain about it in one breath, and then knowingly allow it to happen in the next.

    He has also lashed out at him once hitting him with a leather strap for touching his stuff.
    Were there marks? Bruises? Did you notify authorities? Are you still allowing him time with the child? See how LACK of DOING anything about these complaints lends very little to your concerns? Courts expect that when parents encounter ANY level of suspected abuse, that most competent parents would report it, immediately. Those who don't/haven't aren't going to impress the court with their OWN level or ability to parent - meaning that BOTH of you could be in danger of supervised visitation.

    He also acts in ways that is inappropriate, ie walks around with no underwear/ pants on. The few times my son has slept with him (we do not sleep in the same room), he sleeps nude (I do NOT feel that there is risk of sexual abuse, just inappropr).
    For a 3 year old of the same sex, probably not going to raise the court's eyebrow. Did this type of behavior not surface until AFTER the arrival of the child?


    I have talked to him about taking parenting classes, but he does not believe he needs them.
    This is stuff you should have considered BEFORE you chose him to be parenting material.


    Can he get shared custody and is supervised visitation possible until the child is old enough to protect himself better?
    Shared custody is almost a given...but so far I don't see any reason why the court would limit him to supervised visitation.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Dec 2010
    Location
    Tennessee
    Posts
    3

    Default Re: When Will a Court Order Supervised Visitation

    Before or after you made the child with him?
    Both before and after. I have arrest records which demonstrate that this appears to happen every 2 years or so.

    If you chose a father who is lax in watching him by your standards, then you need to either convince him of the importance of watchful parenting, or watch him yourself. If you choose to leave the child with him, that'll tell the court that you're ok with his skills/management - so you've got to make up your mind whether he's capable or not, and act/adjust accordingly.
    I do watch him myself, 99% of the time. However, it is no my intention to deny my son a relationship with his father, only to ensure that my son is safe until he is old enough to know what is dangerous and could hurt him. He is only 3 years old right now.

    Are they unsecured? In the glove compartment? Trigger lock? Is the child restrained in a car seat? In other words, is the child within reach and capability of accessing the firearm?
    No they are colt 45's no trigger locks. In the house I have made him lock them inside his bedroom. In his vehicle he carries them wedged between the drivers seat and gear shifter. The car seat is in the passengers side of the vehicle (front seat truck). When he leaves with our child, the seatbelt is always fastened. However, recently I have heard from a townsperson that he was out of the carseat moving around the vehicle.

    So obviously you're ok with the child being in the car with the loaded firearm. Again, you'll have to make up your mind on these issues. You can't complain about it in one breath, and then knowingly allow it to happen in the next.
    Of course I am not okay with this! I inspect the vehicle each and every time my son gets into it to be sure that the gun is unloaded in my presence and the bullets put in a seperate location. However, if I were not in a position to do this, I am not sure that the father would, as he gets angry over the idea that our son could be in danger from a loaded firearm in his presence.

    Were there marks? Bruises? Did you notify authorities? Are you still allowing him time with the child? See how LACK of DOING anything about these complaints lends very little to your concerns? Courts expect that when parents encounter ANY level of suspected abuse, that most competent parents would report it, immediately. Those who don't/haven't aren't going to impress the court with their OWN level or ability to parent - meaning that BOTH of you could be in danger of supervised visitation.
    Of course I did not do NOTHING. I documented and photographed the marks that were left and sat the father down for a serious talk. I gave him an ultimatum to seek therapy for his anger issues or he would have to leave. I made it clear under no uncertain terms that hitting the child was NOT acceptable and he needed help. I know that he loves our son and again, I want my son to grow up knowing who is father is. The father has been court ordered to anger management in 2006, but feels like that is a joke. He did agree to conditionally seek therapy if I were to go with him, but has now changed his mind due to cost.

    This is stuff you should have considered BEFORE you chose him to be parenting material.
    Yes, well hindsight can be much more eye opening that foresight. This is a first child for both of us. I appreciate your honesty and candor in replying to my question.

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