
Quoting
aardvarc
Why does your ex-husband, the child's father, not have custody? Did you adopt this child while married to him? (It's VERY unusual for a step-parent to be given ANY legal relationship, including custody, unless an adoption took place or BOTH biological parents had their rights to the child terminated or otherwise curtailed by the courts.)
Exactly what does the court's order regarding maternal grandmother visitation state? While contact with her may not be healthy for the child, if the court has a standing order, it needs to be obeyed - UNLESS there is some imminent physical danger for the child - until the order is modified. Emotional games alone aren't going to constitute "emergcy" grounds for not obeying. If grandma is attempting to circumvent the order and bring mom and child together when clearly the court has forbidden it, that's excellent grounds for you to ask the court to change the order on the grounds that grandma can't be trusted to look out for the child's best interest as already determined by the court. Grandma can complain and request all she wants, but you are under NO obligation to give her anything more than exactly what is spelled out in your order. In fact, doing so, and giving her more time, only weakens your arguement to the court later that such contact isn't good for the child. The therapist's opinion may be helpful in confirming that the contact is detrimental, but the court seems to have already determined that mom has no business around the child, and if grandma is attempting to be a means for that to happen, grandma is risking having the court TERMINATE her contact with the child as well. But that decision needs to come from the court, so get back to court, tell the judge that grandma is failing to protect the child by purposefully trying to reunite her with mom, and ask that future visitation be either supervised, or even completely terminated.