My question involves a child custody case from the State of: MI
My daughter is 10 and has lived with me since birth. Her biological father lives in California and until this past May, had not seen her since 2002. The first time he spoke to her since 2003 was mid 2009.
I have just received a request for joint custody & visitation, with a hearing scheduled for January. He is requesting multiple yearly visits (summer, holidays, his birthday, her birthday, etc.), which would require me to put my daughter on a plan alone to visit him in California.
At the same time, he filed a request asking for a reduction in child support (which he doesn't pay anyway). Part of his reasoning for this reduction was a partial loss of income, which, in the paperwork he filed with the court, has caused him to periodically have to live in his car (including this past summer).
He has known where we are this entire time; we have moved a few times in the last 8yrs but he has had my father's address (we have always lived in the same small city). My father hasn't moved in 30yrs. We visit his house almost daily.
When my daughter was born I also lived in California. When she was about 5 months old, he decided to join a cult and moved to Hawaii. (yes, a real cult). At that time, he gave all of his personal possessions to his friends and left me with a check for $250 that bounced. At that point I decided it was best to move to a cheaper state and back with my family to raise her alone.
I have never told him he can't see her. He has always claimed that it's to expensive for him to fly to Michigan. Although despite having to live in his car and not being able to afford a trip to michigan, he vacations in Hawaii every year (last year for 10 days).
I didn't hear a word from him from 2005 until 2009, when I saw him online and decided to say hello. I have had the same email address since 1999, the same IM ID since that time too.
At this point I am engaged to a man I have known for 20yrs. He has been in a father role for my daughter since she was 2, and we have a daughter who is 6. He is the only father my 10yr old knows; his family is her family, there is no distinction between her and my younger daughter.
My daughter has known that she has a biological father. Since 2009, she has seen him once for about 3hrs, and he calls every 1-3 months (he could call everyday but doesn't).
So my questions ...
Now that he has filed this ridiculous motion for custody & visitation, should I respond by filing one of my own? There was no request for an "answer" from me (i.e., my version of the events), just his long pity party letter about how he can't afford to pay anything, claims that he has tried in vain to contact me over the last 5yrs, and demands that I send my daughter to see him.
I don't have a problem with her knowing him, but given his previous "cult" membership, his admitted periodic homelessness, I don't trust him to take care of her. More importantly, she doesn't even know him. Since he's resurfaced in the last year and had a chance to get to know her, he barely calls.
Is it likely that a judge would tell me that I have to fly her out to visit with him?
Can/would a judge grant visitation that would require him to come to Michigan instead?
Does the fact that he doesn't pay child support because he claims he can't afford to pay any of it factor into the courts view of his ability to take care of her if she was with him?
Again, I don't have a problem with her knowing him, but he has basically abandoned her for her entire life. My thought is that if he chose not to be around this long, he should be required to build a relationship with her in HER familiar, safe surroundings before she should have to fly across the country to visit him.

