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  1. #1

    Exclamation Can I File a Restraining Order Against My Father

    My question involves restraining orders in the State of: UK.

    3 years ago, when I was 11, my then 48-year-old father had an affair with a 15 year old girl. He was sentenced to 18 months in prison and then was released on bail after 9 months.
    He's now off his bail but still continues to talk about the girl. He isn't over it and I am approaching 15 now.
    Since he lost his job our family have been very poor as my mum didn't have the main income for our family. We've tried to get through this but we're struggling a lot.
    My father now lives near his parents in a flat and has a job as a security guard opening gates, which my mum wasn't happy with as he is highly qualified and could've got a low-level office job and been able to support her a little bit.
    I told him that we're struggling and living in misery and shame, and that we want to be respectable again and not have to lie about his job or his absence.
    He told me that he was happy with his minimum-wage job and that it's only social services that stop him from moving back in with us.
    Although I have never said this to a social worker, I do not want him to live with us because what he did disgusts me.
    He thinks that I was ok with what he did because I didn't see what was wrong; when I was 11/12.
    Now I'm a bit older I can't bear to think about it. I told him this and I told him it disgusted me and that I wouldn't feel safe if he moved back in as he is increasingly weird and I remember that he used to act inappropriately when we lived together.
    He was always very touchy-feely, held my hand, kissed me on the lips [which in our family does not happen, parents only kiss on the forehead or hair] and I remember him getting into my bed and hugging me and saying how much he loved me.
    Also I remember when I was beginning puberty him pulling my tshirt tight against me to 'see how I was getting along'
    The more I think about what seemed normal back then, the more I am scared.
    Please help me, I don't know what to do.
    My grandparents [dad's parents] would never forgive me if I told a social worker this and I know my dad would make our family's life miserable by cutting off the small income we have from him and forcing us to move out of our home by divorcing my mum.
    I know he can be cruel when he wants to be and he phoned my mum and told her all about what a 'horrible little girl' I was when my mum had been next to me the whole time I was telling him what I thought on msn. He lied to my mum and she was trying t talk to him and then he said that he will never speak to me again or help me.
    But I know he will one day and he will be angry and probably do something but I don't know what.
    Will a restraining order help or make it worse if my mum files for it? Also, do I have to tell them about the inappropriate behaviour because I'm too freaked out to tell my mum.
    Please help me, I am convinced that I'm not just being a teenager throwing a tantrum, but I have genuine concerns about him living with us.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Sep 2005
    Behind a Desk

    Default Re: Can I File a Restraining Order Against My Father

    You should post your inquiry on a U.K. board or ask a solicitor; this is a U.S. site, and it's unlikely that somebody here will be familiar with U.K. law.

    Realistically speaking, you're not going to get a restraining order without explaining why you want one. Perhaps it's time for your mother to figure out how to build a life apart from your father and his family such that you're no longer subject to their conduct or implied threats.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Jan 2008
    Toledo, OH

    Default Re: Can I File a Restraining Order Against My Father

    Try asking your question over here.

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