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  1. #1

    Default What is an Attorney Supposed to Do During Negotiations

    My attorney is extremely bad at returning my phone calls and she'll tell me she'll call me at a certain time but either calls hours afterwards, or doesn't call and I have to call her at 4:45. I thought maybe that was normal, but after a few other things (below), I'm thinking she might not be a good attorney.

    My attorney and I met with my soon to be ex and his attorney. I had filed a protective order after filing for divorce because he is an extremely unstable person and I feared him. He wanted to see our child every day, wanted her around his unstable family members, etc. I told her before we met with him I absolutely didn't want that to happen and she didn't think it would be a problem. Then as soon as we get into the meeting, she acts like what I wanted was unreasonable, convinced me to drop the protective order and agree to let him and his fam see her every day. She acts nice, but afterward, I'm thinking she really didn't want to fight for me and it was easiest for her to agree with the other side (our meeting was going past 5pm and the judge was waiting). I now know I shouldn't have agreed to that, but I felt like it was 3 against one and maybe something was wrong with me?

    What are my options? Should i tell her what she did wasn't acceptable then give her another try? Should I get a new attorney and let him/her inform the judge my last one was bad and we need to renegotiate? Should I file a grievance against her with the Bar? I wouldn't want her to do this to someone poor soul needing to get out of a bad marriage.

  2. #2
    Join Date
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    Default Re: What is an Attorney Supposed to Do During Negotiations

    Dont worry about other people, just concentrate on yourself. If you are not happy with a settlement, dont accept.. if you are not happy with your attny, get a new one.

  3. #3

    Default Re: What is an Attorney Supposed to Do During Negotiations

    Regardless of how skilled or aggressive an attorney you might find, they will have a difficult time overcoming two of your arguements:

    Quote Quoting dalailamanut
    View Post
    He wanted to see our child every day,
    MOST parents want to see their children every day. This won't be seen as a NEGATIVE thing against him in regard to a restraining order.

    wanted her around his unstable family members, etc.
    Were these people his family when you had the child with him? Was the child ever exposed to them while you were still together? If so, then unless "unstable" includes some element that convinces the court that they pose some DANGER to the child, this too is really a moot point - no matter HOW "good" of an attorney you have.

    I told her before we met with him I absolutely didn't want that to happen
    Which is completely different than the court finding those wants to be reasonable.

    and she didn't think it would be a problem.
    Even the BEST attorneys can be wrong. I'm not sure what the attorney could have been basing their response of "no problem" on, because on the surface, I see more arguements against your requests than in support of them (of course depending on the answers to the questions above).

    Then as soon as we get into the meeting, she acts like what I wanted was unreasonable, convinced me to drop the protective order and agree to let him and his fam see her every day. She acts nice, but afterward, I'm thinking she really didn't want to fight for me and it was easiest for her to agree with the other side (our meeting was going past 5pm and the judge was waiting).
    Judges have a tendency to get impatient, and it's not unheard of for them to temper their decisions based on how "amicable" the parties are trying to work through the issues. More than anyone else, an attorney who practices in front of that judge knows the proclivities of how to best work things to get the best possible outcome for their client - which shouldn't be confused with getting the client everything they want.

    I now know I shouldn't have agreed to that, but I felt like it was 3 against one and maybe something was wrong with me?
    Wrong with you? No. Probably not. Your requests aren't out in left field, and are actually pretty common requests. A little unrealistic maybe unless there is some overwhelming evidence to convince the court that such restrictions were necessary for the best interests of the child.

    What are my options?
    Start by just flat out asking the attorney WHY. It'll do you no good to switch attorneys and start over if the reason is one that is inherent to the case itself. (For example, being around his family. If one judge doesn't have some REASON to prevent him from having the child around him, the next attorney and the next judge aren't likely to either.) It'll be very expensive to go through attorney after attorney if the outcome is likely to be the same. Ask the attorney to explain why some issues that were important to you appeared to be passed over. You might not like the answer, but you can't realistically formulate a plan for future action without knowing.

    Should i tell her what she did wasn't acceptable then give her another try?
    Depends on her answers to the above.

    Should I get a new attorney and let him/her inform the judge my last one was bad and we need to renegotiate?
    The courts typically don't work that way. The court isn't going to just hear the case over and over until you get the outcome you want. The court MAY be willing to entertain hearing more IF there is some new information or change in circumstances that could impact any ruling. (For example, the family that is "unstable" includes persons with convictions of crimes against children, and the information has been newly discovered.)

    Should I file a grievance against her with the Bar?
    Based on what? Do you have some reason to think she purposefully undermined your case in favor of the other parent? Simply not getting the outcome you wanted isn't going to interest the Bar.

    TALK to the attorney. ASK questions.

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