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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jul 2006
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    TN
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    699

    Default Travel Costs and Notice of Visitation

    My question involves a child custody case from the State of: TN

    I have posted on the other site in the past, however for some reason at this time I cannot get to that site at work. Some of you here may know the history though if you are also on that site. If not, my husband has had issues with his daughter's mother since before he and I met years ago. She constantly did things to hinder him and his child's relationship though due to a biased judge was never found in contempt. Last year she moved out of state to be with her new husband at the time, now soon to be ex,(with the child and without permission) and since he was living in a different county the case was transferred and he was eventually given custody of his daughter due to the mother's actions.

    The mother was ordered to pay support last year, however since that time has not paid a dime. At first he got the run around because she was in another state, however now she is back in TN and is now running from child support and falsifing information with the court as far as her employment is concerned.

    Anyway, since she was not paying child support, the judge ordered that she be responsible for all transportation in regards to her visiting the child. The actual order reads, "2. Until the Respondent has paid all arrearage, the Respondent shall be solely responsible for all expenses associated with the child being transported to (the state that she moved to) or anywhere else so that the Respondent can excersise her co-parenting time. 3. If the
    Respondent fails to pay the money required to transport the child for her parenting time, then the Respondent has forfeited her right for the co-parenting time"

    Now my husband has been giving her visitation whenever we have been in town out of the goodness of his heart and wanting his daughter to have a relationship with the mother, although it was not her parenting time, we were just in town. However the mother failed to call or arrange pickup for her fall break visitation. She says that my husband is in contempt of court since he didn't call her letting her know when he would be dropping her off. He sent her the school schedule at the beginning of the year and assumed that she knew the time that she was to have her daughter but was choosing not to excersise her visitation since she had not contacted him.

    She is also saying that he has to bring her to where she lives for Thanksgiving and Christmas as she believes the order only meant air transportation to where she was living.

    My questions are as follows:
    1. Can my husband be found in contempt for her missing the fall break visitation?
    2. Is he reading the order correctly and correctly assuming that she is to provide transportation until her support order is current? (They have contempt of court hearing her non-payment next month.)

    Thanks

  2. #2

    Default Re: Travel Costs and Notice of Visitation

    Quote Quoting Neal1421
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    1. Can my husband be found in contempt for her missing the fall break visitation?
    If mom can't be bothered to get off her own fanny to make contact regarding her visitation, the court isn't likely to get off IT'S fanny if she wants to complain about it.

    2. Is he reading the order correctly and correctly assuming that she is to provide transportation until her support order is current? (They have contempt of court hearing her non-payment next month.)
    Obviously WE can't read the exact language of the order from here, but that would seem to be the case, given the events.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Jul 2006
    Location
    TN
    Posts
    699

    Default Re: Travel Costs and Notice of Visitation

    Thanks for the response. He just wasn't sure since the order was put into place when she was out of state and was paying for a plane ticket to that state.

    At that time, he was responsible for taking his daughter to the nearest airport, which happens to be in the city where she lives now, but that city is not listed in the order. It just states as I have posted that she is responsible for transportation to see the child during visitation.

    2. Until the Respondent has paid all arrearage, the Respondent shall be solely responsible for all expenses associated with the child being transported to (the state that she moved to) or anywhere else so that the Respondent can excersise her co-parenting time. 3. If the
    Respondent fails to pay the money required to transport the child for her parenting time, then the Respondent has forfeited her right for the co-parenting time


    Since she is now back in state, would he be able to modify visitation? As it stands now, since she was out of state the judge ordered that she get all breaks and all Thanksgiving and Christmas holiday as well as the entire summer with the exception of the week after school lets out and the week before it starts back. She now lives about 3 hours away and could reasonable see her once or twice a month so that he could get some of her breaks and holidays, right?

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Sep 2009
    Location
    Minneapolis/St. Paul area
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    497

    Default Re: Travel Costs and Notice of Visitation

    Quote Quoting Neal1421
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    Since she is now back in state, would he be able to modify visitation? As it stands now, since she was out of state the judge ordered that she get all breaks and all Thanksgiving and Christmas holiday as well as the entire summer with the exception of the week after school lets out and the week before it starts back. She now lives about 3 hours away and could reasonable see her once or twice a month so that he could get some of her breaks and holidays, right?
    Yes, given the change in circumstances, it is reasonable to modify the visitation schedule and request alternating holidays.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Jul 2006
    Location
    TN
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    699

    Default Re: Travel Costs and Notice of Visitation

    Ok, I'm back with another question.

    His lawyer is now suggesting that he at least meet her halfway, just to keep the peace and help facilitate their relationship. My husband understands that it is his responsibility to do so, however at this time with all of the lawyer fees he has paid in regards to her appealing the change of custody decision, he is financially unable to meet her halfway when she is to get her and return her.

    Will this look bad for him if he tells them that he cannot meet her due to the financial strain this is causing him? He understands that the court order states that she is to pay for it, however since she has offered to meet halfway, will his declining to do so look badly on his part?

    Thanks.

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
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    Somewhere near Canada
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    Default Re: Travel Costs and Notice of Visitation

    That might honestly just depend on the Judge. *I* wouldn't think bad of Dad - Mom DID create the distance and SHOULD be responsible for the costs of transportation...and Dad does appear to have legitimate financial concerns as to why it's not feasible to meet Mom halfway.

    However, some may think that it's thwarting an effort on Mom's part to "make nice". Really not sure what else to say - I could see it going both ways, but I'd hope a reasonable Judge would agree with me.

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Sep 2009
    Location
    Minneapolis/St. Paul area
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    497

    Default Re: Travel Costs and Notice of Visitation

    Quote Quoting Neal1421
    View Post
    Ok, I'm back with another question.

    His lawyer is now suggesting that he at least meet her halfway, just to keep the peace and help facilitate their relationship. My husband understands that it is his responsibility to do so, however at this time with all of the lawyer fees he has paid in regards to her appealing the change of custody decision, he is financially unable to meet her halfway when she is to get her and return her.

    Will this look bad for him if he tells them that he cannot meet her due to the financial strain this is causing him? He understands that the court order states that she is to pay for it, however since she has offered to meet halfway, will his declining to do so look badly on his part?

    Thanks.
    I'm a little confused here. From the previous posts, it sounds as though the judge ordered that mom had to pay all of the transportation costs as a means of settling her CS arrears. Please note that it's rare to have child support tied to visitaion, but obviously it does happen on occassion. Anyways, assuming that these arrears still exist, why would an attorney advise his client to let her off of the proverbial hook and absorb half of the transportation costs in the interest of "playing nice"? It seems to me that the argument is simple: "Your honor, she still owes arrears. I feel your previous order regarding transportation costs should stand. The only modification to visitation should be the schedule. The expenses should remain as her burden until the arrears are recouped." Unless your husband's attorney is proposing an alternate means of recouping the arrears to coincide with his relationship advice.

    But if I'm having a mental lapse...If I missed something here and the arrears have been taken care of, then it is not unusual for parents to be ordered to meet halfway for vistation exchanges. The alternative is that the mom would drive to dad's house to pick up the child and begin visitation; dad would drive to mom's house to end visitation. The cost is pretty much the same either way. The benefit to meeting in the middle is that the parents spend less time on the road.

    To be fair though, Dogmatique's arguement is correct: Mom chose to return to Tn, 3 hours away from her child, and thus created the current distance (knowing full well the potential consequences of moving away as a result of her previous move), so there is a rationale that she should be liable for the travel expenses. However, my feeling is that if she has paid the arrears off, then a judge will be more lenient, noting that she is making a strong effort to see her child, and will probably lean more towards the split costs.

    Ultimately, as Dogmatique said, the answer can only come from the judge.

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Jul 2006
    Location
    TN
    Posts
    699

    Default Re: Travel Costs and Notice of Visitation

    Thank you for the replies.

    To answer your question NdK1009, no the arrears have not been paid. In fact she continues to ignore the child support order and has not paid support in the 16 months that he has had custody of the child. They have a contempt for non-payment of support hearing next month. When they went to court for contempt back in May regarding child support as well as her claiming the daughter on her taxes this year when the order states that he gets to claim her, that is when the judge ordered that she pay all transportation costs until the amount of the arrears are paid in full.

    Neither my husband nor I are quite sure either why his attorney would suggest that he meet halfway which is why I wanted to come here and pose the question.

    Again, thank you. If you have any other thoughts or suggestions please let me know.

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