My question involves a marriage in the state of:California

This divorce has been in default for 8 years and I have been trying to do something about it for two years now. Judge did not allow it the first time around he said because I took so long to do something about it. They are now giving me another chance with a different judge. What is a good reason to give him so that he sets it aside. My ex-wife rather it stay in default and is doing everything in her power to leave it that way while she tries to use it to gain legal resedency. Can I really stay married to her forever because of this default. She won't give me the divorce. I feel I have one last chance. HELP please??