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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Oct 2010
    Posts
    1

    Default How to Prevent Visitation if Domestic Violence Was Never Reported

    My question involves a child custody case from the State of: Texas

    Me and my husband seperated a year ago because he was abusive to me and my son which was 7 months old. My ex husband is in the military and was deployed the whole time our son was born, he was only there for two weeks.

    We got divorced in May of 10' and I dont think I got justice.

    My ex husband would abusive me throwing me around, punching me, and hitting me, He would yank our son out of the chair and throw him around like arag doll. The day I left he held a unlocked, loaded hand gun to me and my son.

    I dont see how anyone would let this man see a child that is almost 2 years old and hes never been around but for 2 weeks and the whole time he would abuse us and the fact of the gun issue.

    I told my attorney all this, and I was told that since I didnt call the police that there was nothing I can do.

    No I didnt call the police I was thrown out! I was at the time living in Washington state and had to sit in a airport for 8 hours till the next plane (I was kicked out at midnight).

    I know hes gone to get mental help from the military and had a record of stuff that the militray could possibly prove/show records of.

    I just want to make sure that there is nothing else I can do. He wont give up his rights cause its a easy way out for him, which I dont understand, basicly hes keeping his rights to piss me off (which is wrong because of the child).

    If anyone could help me out I would greatly appriciate it.
    Thank you.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Mar 2007
    Posts
    9,096

    Default Re: safety of my child, need advice please!

    If you didn't call the police, the abuse didn't happen. Your attorney is correct.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Mar 2005
    Location
    Michigan
    Posts
    28,906

    Default Re: safety of my child, need advice please!

    The failure to call the police doesn't mean that the abuse "didn't happen" - the facts are the facts. But it makes it both difficult and problematic to introduce the allegations in court, two years after-the-fact, and it could be interpreted by the court as an effort to interfere with the other parent's relationship with the child as opposed to sincere concern about the child's welfare.

    The fact that you appear to want more than a denial of visitation - that you want the father to give up his parental rights - suggests that there may be additional reasons why a court would be skeptical of a new report of alleged past abuse.

    For the record, you can call the police for free from any public phone. Most people will call 911 for you if you ask. There are also police and security personnel at airports.

  4. #4

    Default Re: safety of my child, need advice please!

    Quote Quoting aaron
    View Post
    The failure to call the police doesn't mean that the abuse "didn't happen" - the facts are the facts.
    No DOCUMENTATION of the facts, or even an ATTEMPT to do so by notifying authorities is what the court will be concerned with. No DA is going to believe that you couldn't get to a phone within hours, days, weeks, to report the incident. If the DA can't believe it, they're not going to even attempt to sell it to a JURY. Facts in COURT are only facts if there is SOMETHING other than a verbal accusation to cooroborate what is being alleged.

    This is exactly why advocates jump up and down and scream from the top of their lungs that DV needs to be REPORTED. At the earliest safe moment. Failing to do so means that you loose the ability to try to bring it up in later ligitation - ESPECIALLY involving child custody matters - because the court may take with a grain of salt that you didn't want to report abuse against yourself - but the court isn't going to buy for a moment that you were unwilling to report abuse against your CHILD (or, they'll believe it, and then start proceedings to investigate taking the child from YOUR care too, for failure to protect).

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Mar 2007
    Posts
    9,096

    Default Re: safety of my child, need advice please!

    Quote Quoting aaron
    View Post
    The failure to call the police doesn't mean that the abuse "didn't happen" - the facts are the facts. But it makes it both difficult and problematic to introduce the allegations in court, two years after-the-fact, and it could be interpreted by the court as an effort to interfere with the other parent's relationship with the child as opposed to sincere concern about the child's welfare.
    I was, of course, speaking from a legal standpoint.... and if there isn't a third party confirmation of abuse, it is doubtful whether or not that abuse will even be introduced... because it creates a "she said/he said" situation where no one wins... especially the victim.

    I realize you said that, but I wanted to clarify my statement... I realize that a great deal of abuse ... real abuse... goes unreported. Unfortunately, unreported abuse is not as legally actionable... if actionable at all.

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Jan 2010
    Location
    Oregon
    Posts
    123

    Default Re: safety of my child, need advice please!

    unfortunatly if he is a well built guy in good shape and whe is a petite little thing she can acuse him of what ever and the judge is so afraid of it coming back to bite him in the ass he will act on it. He may not deny visits all together but the guy will have to work for them!

    Its a sad fact, anytime something in court is about to happen in a custody hearing that a woman doesnt like she has the ability to change it by pulling the DV card. It was working SO well that every woman started doing it and it became obvious it was a custody tool. Im afraid that now there will be a boomerang effect and real victims of DV will be the ones that will suffer

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Location
    Somewhere near Canada
    Posts
    35,894

    Default Re: safety of my child, need advice please!

    Quote Quoting TheJKH1999
    View Post
    unfortunatly if he is a well built guy in good shape and whe is a petite little thing she can acuse him of what ever and the judge is so afraid of it coming back to bite him in the ass he will act on it. He may not deny visits all together but the guy will have to work for them!

    Its a sad fact, anytime something in court is about to happen in a custody hearing that a woman doesnt like she has the ability to change it by pulling the DV card. It was working SO well that every woman started doing it and it became obvious it was a custody tool. Im afraid that now there will be a boomerang effect and real victims of DV will be the ones that will suffer

    When you use phrases like "every woman (sic) started doing it", your post loses credibility. Your first paragraph was also inaccurate.

    You are right in one aspect - those who use DV as a tool make it much harder for genuine victims to obtain help. Having said that, in family court DV needs to be proven before anything will happen in terms of changing custody and visitation.

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