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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Oct 2010
    Location
    Texas
    Posts
    7

    Unhappy Keeping My Children Safe

    My question involves a child custody case from the State of: Texas.

    I have been divorced from my children's father since early 2008. He was given standard possession/visitation, even after the Judge heard from my oldest child about the physical abuse his father did to him and his younger siblings. One of the children later came forward to me about their father touching them inappropriately. I then done what I was told to do by the Law Enforcement, and reported this to the CID and CPS. CID had set up and appointment with the Child Advocate center to interview my child without contacting the CPS office, therefor CPS would not take my childs case. The D.A. tossed out everything, saying there was not enough physical evidence proving that this was done to my child. For the life of me, I still don't understand what more they could ask of a child. My children where put into counseling and have been going once to twice a month for a year now. The therapist has spoken with my children and firmly believes this act has happened to the child as far as the inappropriate touching, as well as the physical abuse. The Therapist has reported that in the best interest and safety of the children that the father shall not have access to them. The Judge temporally suspended his visitation in Dec 2009, and has ordered that at the discretion of the Therapist, the father may sit in on the Children's counseling sessions. A few days after her ruling, and me acquiring a copy of the Docket Sheet with the judges ruling, was one of my children's appointment. I was to inform the Therapist of the judges ruling and show her a copy of the Docket Sheet. As my child and I were called to into her office, the Father showed up without notice. When my child saw the father, they turned and clung to me, shaking and crying hysterically, the Therapist asked who he was, and he said he was the father and was allowed to be there, in turn I handed her to Docket Sheet and told her it was at her discretion. The Therapist asked my child if it was OK for the father to stay, and the child shook their head no, and when the Therapist asked if the child wanted him to leave, they said yes. He was made to leave and informed that the Therapist would get back to him at the end of the day and consult him on the treatment, which she did. The father has contacted the Therapist and asked how the sessions have been going and if he was able to sit in on a session. The Therapist informed him that the children were not ready to meet with him yet and that there has been no change. The father has only done this for 3 months and then stopped after he wrote the children letter's. He called the Therapist and got impatient and went to her office. He was very rude with her after he was informed that the children read the letter's and asked her to please dispose of them and that they want nothing to do with him.
    The father has not once called his children since the Judges ruling in Dec 2009, and the Therapist has written letter's to my attorney informing her of the findings as well as the father making contact. These letter's were never presented to the Judge, and the father's attorney told the Judge that the Therapist was not cooperating with him (the father) on the treatments, so the Judge ruled they can keep seeing the same Therapist, but must see another Therapist as well. The medical Insurance that we have will only cover one Therapist. How can a judge who used to be a Lawyer specializing in Family law, rule such a thing? This will cause a backwards spiral of the progress the children have had with their Therapist and will start everything over from the beginning, not to forget the emotional trauma they have to endure of switching to a different Therapist after getting comfortable with their current Therapist and trusting her. Also, how can she still allow him to have any rights to these children after the children refused to visit him with them crying out not only to the judge, police, CPS, but also to their Therapist? What else can I do to keep my children safe from such a person? He is also behind in child support. The judge has yet to punish him for any contempt he has been in. He owes his children over $18,000. He has not offered to call the children to see how they have been, need anything or nothing like that at all. He has always had an control issue. He wants it his way or no way at all. It's all about control and he has also made it very clear during the divorce process that he would never stop and leave me alone. He is remarried, but still constantly harasses myself, and the children with the constant court battles. Yes, I have reported him to the Attorney General's Office, but again nobody is doing anything. He claims to be working but has yet to turn over any pay stubs or proof of his current income. The judge ordered him to pay by Texas law 35% of his income which was the amount of $1350 a month for 4 children. The state with holds $427 a month out of his retirement pay every month. It is like I can't get anywhere in this county and state especially with that Judge. Please, any kind of advice would be nice. I really need help and my lawyer seems to playing both sides just to pull more money out of me, money which I don't have and would rather put every penny on my children.
    How can I get a different Judge? How I can get full custody of my children with all the Therapist findings? How can I protect my children? How much further can I get pushed into a corner?
    Thank you in advance

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Location
    Somewhere near Canada
    Posts
    35,894

    Default Re: Keeping My Children Safe and Much More

    1. How many times have you actually filed contempt for non-payment?

    2. The Judge has a lot of discretion; apparently your ex's attorney convinced the Judge that there may be a lack of cooperation with the therapist, and in all honesty if Dad even loosely suspected that was the case he has every right to request a different therapist. If there is genuinely a cause for concern, another therapist will surely come to the same conclusion as the first, yes? So seeing another therapist although difficult will likely be a good thing in the long run.

    3. You can't request a different judge simply because you don't like the decision.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Oct 2010
    Location
    Texas
    Posts
    7

    Default Re: Keeping My Children Safe and Much More

    I have filed contempt since June of this year, and every time I get ready to go to court, a continuance is issued. Can I call the enforcement office of the Attorney General's office?
    With wanting a different Judge, well it was made clear to myself and my ex-husband from both our Attorney's that she personally does not like either one of use, because of constantly coming to her court room. I have never filled to go to court other than when I filed for Divorce. I have only filled once against him since then, and that was for the Child support contempt as well as to keep my children safe. Also, my ex-husband has made it clear to both Attorney's that my current husband is a thorn in his side simply because he lives with us (myself and the children).

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Location
    Somewhere near Canada
    Posts
    35,894

    Default Re: Keeping My Children Safe and Much More

    By all means call the AG's office - that might actually be your best bet


    If the Judge apparently dislikes BOTH of you...well, at least she's not being biased for or against one of you. That makes your request even less likely to happen. I honestly see no reason why you would get a different Judge.

    Non-legal advice:

    I know you're terrifically concerned about your kids. But these things can take an awfully long time to get sorted out in court and yes, sometimes the kids suffer because of it. But once you submit yourself to family court, you're kind of at the mercy of the system. It takes patience but you really can't do much else than work with your attorney and jump through whatever hoops the court puts in front of you.

    (It's entirely natural by the way for your ex to be sore about your current husband. It's also common - and I'm not suggesting this is the case - for abuse allegations to be tossed around during a custody dispute. That's why every possibility needs to be considered and this takes time)

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Oct 2010
    Location
    Texas
    Posts
    7

    Default Re: Keeping My Children Safe and Much More

    My children didn't make these allegation's during the divorce as far as the sexual assault part goes. That came months later when my child came forward with this and told me they were afraid to go back to their father's because he may do it again. I got 4 yrs probation for not turning my children over to him on father's day weekend, being in contempt yet he gets to keep on with his life with not so much as a bad word towards him for his contempt. I have lost all faith in the Texas Legal System.

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Location
    Somewhere near Canada
    Posts
    35,894

    Default Re: Keeping My Children Safe and Much More

    I'm sorry, what?

    You were convicted CRIMINALLY for not turning over the children to Dad on Father's Day?

    What on earth happened?

    How many times have you actually refused visitation?

  7. #7

    Default Re: Keeping My Children Safe

    Ok - here is a non-emotional attempt to give you a realistic view of the situation...from the COURT'S point of view, which is ultimately the one that MATTERS and will be the one that either provides legal basis for change in the situation, or finds no legal basis for making CHANGES in the situation....

    Quote Quoting baby2b4u
    View Post
    He was given standard possession/visitation, even after the Judge heard from my oldest child about the physical abuse his father did to him and his younger siblings.
    PRIOR to the children showing up in court, what reports had been made regarding this abuse, and to whom, and how many times? What history of documentation, reports, or investigation of the abuse existed at the time the child uttered allegations of abuse to the judge?

    One of the children later came forward to me about their father touching them inappropriately. I then done what I was told to do by the Law Enforcement, and reported this to the CID and CPS. CID had set up and appointment with the Child Advocate center to interview my child without contacting the CPS office, therefor CPS would not take my childs case. The D.A. tossed out everything, saying there was not enough physical evidence proving that this was done to my child. For the life of me, I still don't understand what more they could ask of a child.
    The reality of abuse reporting is that arrest requires at least probable cause, and conviction requires that the accused be found guilty beyond a reasonable doubt. Both of those require SOMETHING beyond just a child's statement. That's actually how the system is SUPPOSED to work. It's an unfortunate dynamic of child abuse that children don't report it timely - but the criminal justice system simply can't take the action of arresting or incarcerating persons without EVIDENCE of wrongdoing beyond an accusation. That doesn't mean that police don't believe that things occurred exactly as the child described - but knowing something to be true in one's gut is nowhere NEAR the same as the burden of proof needed to arrest or convict. The Entire US criminal justice system was founded to protect the rights of the ACCUSED (unlike merry old England where the king could have you arrested and then worry about your innocense later). So when you want to know what more they could ask, the answer is that MORE than JUST an accusation. Could be physical evidence. Could be a confession. Could be the child's demonstrated knowledge of things that only the victim of such events could know. Could be several things. But must be MORE than just a pointing finger and a statement. Child molestation, unfortunately, is one of the absolute hardest criminal cases to make, exactly because often there isn't (much) physical evidence - and these cases, even in best case scenario, often can't be prosecuted. The DA simply isn't going to devote time, resources, nor subject the victim to having to re-tell and re-live the events over again, knowing in advance that they have no reasonable chance of conviction.

    That covers the criminal justice side. I'll comment on the therapy issue side later tonight.

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