OP got the opinion for free
Lawrence, these issues are important whether or not OP wants to discuss them. That's all.
What is "Legal reality"? The court of public opinion? What law did she break? Yes mom lied to her child, so what? Do you have any idea why she did? Maybe you need to find that out why before calling someone a lier. I am sure she has her reason.
The fact is that Mom lied. Someone who lies is a liar by definition. The reasons? Well, I'm sure Mom does have her reasons....but it doesn't change the bottom line. This child is about to have her entire life uprooted when she finds out that Dad isn't actually Dad. It's a serious matter.
In all honesty I care far less about Mom and Dad's comfort level than I do about the welfare of the child.
Yes, I agree. But I do know this. The courts try to do what best for the child. If they feel that this man took on the role of the "father", they will lean toward making him "father". And like I mention before the difference between claiming two children or three children might not be worth the effort. That is for the OP to decide.
He's not the child's father, period - he has no legal standing, rights or obligations to the child.
I do agree that the difference between 2 and 3 kids might be fruitless anyway.

