My question involves a marriage in the state of: California
My wife is seeking a divorce and I am representing myself, something that I have no choice about but really don't want to do. I'm not out to prove how smart I am or that I'm capable of outsmarting her attorney, who has 30 years in the business behind him. I just want to get as fair a resolution as I may and then move on.
The major aspects of this are:
1. I was locked out of my home without warning. There had been emotional and verbal abuses aimed at me previously. My wife has title but did not seek a court order for independent occupation. I called sheriffs officers who took her side, told me I had no right to be on the property, nor any right to rescue any of my own property, if she didn't want me there, and got me to leave. After speaking to her a sheriffs officer told me they were satisfied there had been no domestic violence, but to the best of my knowledge no official report was made nor was I given any sort of reference number for the episode. My wife made no claim of DV at this time, otherwise of course, the sheriffs would have been more or less obliged to arrest me. Which they didn't.
2. I was ejected with nothing other than an ancient vehicle and the contents. A few clothes, and that was it. I was able to grab a tiny amount from the joint bank account before my wife closed it out from under me. My wife deliberately left me with no money, no place to go, no job, nothing. She seized all community and any separate property of mine that was on the property. I will not explain the preceding circumstances, please just accept I am not able to work. She knew there was nobody locally that I could go to for help. It was her clear intent to make me destitute, which she did. I have been homeless and living on the streets ever since.
3. She immediately issued a DV TRO, which contained nothing other than false statements. Unfortunately, these are probably going be regarded as hearsay, as is the supporting comment made to me by the sheriffs officer at the time. She was unable to serve the TRO because I was homeless, and so far away from the property that I couldn't have been a threat anyway. I didn't even know the order had been issued until much later, and was amazed. I have never committed an act of abuse toward her or any woman. Anyway, It is off the calendar now after being reissued a few times, but I don't know, it may come back sometime.
4. I eventually saw the Petition and filed a Response. She had asked that spousal support be taken off the table, whereas I had asked to be granted it. Everything else was left to settlement. Since then I have served the various proofs of earnings and income ($147 in assistance, per month, that's IT) and the preliminary declaration. I have no assets other than my vehicle, in which I try to live. It is so old as not to have any market value.
5. I wrote a letter - not officially served, just sent - to my wife's attorney at an early stage, describing my needs from a settlement and giving some indications of where I felt my justifications would lie. I indicated my desire to avoid a court battle and to settle quietly and voluntarily. There has been no acknowledgment.
6. My wife has not made any contact with me since the week before she locked me out (months ago). I have no idea what she is doing, and there has been no comment from her attorney either. They've sent me no documents, though I have provided them with a mailing address. She has never even made any comment about the reasons for her behavior and I guess she isn't obliged to.
7. My wife and I had an arrangement that doesn't concern anyone else right now, but it involved me staying at home and her working. She earns a very good salary, enough to support us easily. We have been married for more than 8 years and this has always been the arrangement, by her own wish. Therefore she was well aware that she was destroying my life when she locked me out.
There are actually more, and perhaps more interesting, angles to this but I have to be careful about being identifiable. Thanks for reading this far, anyway, and what I'm trying to get the hang of is what to do with all this. I have no choice but to represent myself, I get a fee waiver of course, because I was left with nothing. It makes it cheaper but not easier.
Has my wife done anything illegal that has implications outside of the divorce proceedings? Should I follow up anything of this nature? Should I try to find out how to file some sort of claim for emotional and financial distress? Believe me, suddenly finding yourself locked out of your home and then living on nothing in the street, not to mention being accused of DV and having the police side with your abuser, is pretty darn emotionally and financial distressing. I am not a young person, either, and I am not in particularly good health.
I understand that there will be readers inclined to want to take my partner's side in this, as the woman is generally assumed to be the victim and the man, regardless of his claims, as the abuser. That's OK. I am not seeking reassurance or validation, only to know what I may sensibly do in law in order to protect myself and survive. Thanks!

