It wasn't my choice to create this distance, my husband is in the Army, the Army made this choice for us.
No, you chose to marry a soldier. Thus, you chose to create distance between your child and his father.

Your complaint will fall on deaf ears.

So instead I should just lived seprately from my husband who could be deployed again and possible die for his country
If you cut down on the drama a little, it's possible that the judge will be very gentle when he tells you that your husband knew what he was signing up for, and so did you. But you can be assured that such will be the answer, gentle or otherwise.