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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Sep 2010
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    Unhappy My Boyfriend and I Were Charged with Assault and Battery Against Each Other

    My question involves criminal law for the state of: North Carolina

    I am in complete shock right now because we have never been physical before and we both love each other very much. My boyfriend and I both had too much to drink last night. The conversation got ugly and he pushed me. The conversation escalated, and he tried to throw me out of his house. At one point he grabbed me by the hair. It hurt extremely bad, and I hit him with my phone, causing him to bleed, and I screamed. When he let go I ran out of the house down the street. The neighbors heard and apparently called the police. The police picked us both up (separately) and we gave statements to them as to what happened. Both of us were charged with assault and battery and I bonded myself out for $500. We are not allowed to contact each other. I don’t want him to get in any trouble, he’s a wonderful person and this incident happened because we were both extremely intoxicated. I don't wish to press charges against him. I blew a .11 on the breathalyzer when they took my statement. Should I retain an attorney? What happens when I go into my court date in 3 weeks? Will they charge me that day? Will I have to enter a plea? I have no priors and have never been in any trouble. I'm a graduate student. Thanks for any advice anyone can provide.

  2. #2

    Default Re: My Boyfriend and I Were Charged with Assault and Battery Against Each Other

    Quote Quoting mishkins
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    I am in complete shock right now because we have never been physical before and we both love each other very much.
    Police and the courts don't care about love - they care about ACTIONS. If the actions are crimes, love is irrelevent. Love won't stop a prosecution, any more than it stopped you from drinking or hurting each other.


    I don’t want him to get in any trouble
    That won't be up to you. In a crime, all of society, not just you, is considered the victim, so the state brings charges in the interest of protecting ALL members of society.


    he’s a wonderful person
    Who drinks and hits you.

    and this incident happened because we were both extremely intoxicated.
    Intoxication doesn't CAUSE violence. Lots of people become totally smashed and never harm their significant others -just as lots of people beat the crap out of them and have never had a drop. Intoxication lowers inhibitions, but at the end of the day, somewhere inside he felt his actions were ok or justifiable.

    I don't wish to press charges against him.
    Then don't. But that won't stop the state from bringing a case if they are inclined to do so.


    I blew a .11 on the breathalyzer when they took my statement. Should I retain an attorney?
    Since you face charges as well, yes, an attorney is advised.

    What happens when I go into my court date in 3 weeks? Will they charge me that day? Will I have to enter a plea?
    You'll be arraigned; meaning the state will officially declare what charges they are bringing, and you'll have your chance to enter a plea.


    I have no priors and have never been in any trouble.
    Those will be good positive things to have in your favor.

  3. #3

    Default Re: My Boyfriend and I Were Charged with Assault and Battery Against Each Other

    Quote Quoting aardvarc
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    Police and the courts don't care about love - they care about ACTIONS. If the actions are crimes, love is irrelevent. Love won't stop a prosecution, any more than it stopped you from drinking or hurting each other.




    That won't be up to you. In a crime, all of society, not just you, is considered the victim, so the state brings charges in the interest of protecting ALL members of society.




    Who drinks and hits you.



    Intoxication doesn't CAUSE violence. Lots of people become totally smashed and never harm their significant others -just as lots of people beat the crap out of them and have never had a drop. Intoxication lowers inhibitions, but at the end of the day, somewhere inside he felt his actions were ok or justifiable.



    Then don't. But that won't stop the state from bringing a case if they are inclined to do so.




    Since you face charges as well, yes, an attorney is advised.



    You'll be arraigned; meaning the state will officially declare what charges they are bringing, and you'll have your chance to enter a plea.




    Those will be good positive things to have in your favor.
    I believe I saw a quote in another thread that would sum up the situation, although it wouldn't really help either side at this point: "Drunks being drunks"

  4. #4

    Default Re: My Boyfriend and I Were Charged with Assault and Battery Against Each Other

    Quote Quoting AmparoDeLibertad
    View Post
    I believe I saw a quote in another thread that would sum up the situation, although it wouldn't really help either side at this point: "Drunks being drunks"
    Drunks being drunks applies to many situations...mostly stranger vs. stranger...but in cases where the participants are dating, married, have a child together, or co-habitate - it'll be treated as a DV case.

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