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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Feb 2010
    Posts
    17

    Default Summer Parenting Time

    Case is in MN, kids are 8 and 10. My ex-husband has filed a motion to have his parenting time increased (among other things). Currently he has EOW only. In his motion he's asking for "Two weeks in the summer" (verbatim). He and I do not communicate well at all and I want to make sure my answer is as precise as possible about setting out the summer parenting time.

    My problem is that the kids and I live in Iowa. Summer vacation has been very short due to school getting out later than scheduled after snow make-up days (this year it was June 3rd instead of May 29th) and then starting well before Labor Day (this year school started August 18th) as it always does. Because it is so short I'm having a hard time fitting two weeks for my ex into the summer without completely leaving me open to having NO weekends with the kids during the summer. I need to know if there's a specific schedule that I can present to the judge that he will accept without seeing it as too restricting. The judge who's hearing the case is very good about issuing very specific orders, but I'm just not sure if something restricting him from taking his "two weeks" over "my" weekends (say, specifically excluding 4 pm on Friday until 11 am Sunday [which is his PT EOW schedule] on "my" weekends from his summer PT) would fly.

    I want to propose something that's along the lines of that he may have two non-consecutive periods of seven days that run consecutive to his PT weekends without falling over "my" weekends. Then there's July 4th and our younger son's birthday to complicate the matter. I'm so lost on how to do this that I'm tempted to put that he can have from 9 am on the Monday immediately preceding one of his PT weekends until 6 pm on Sunday the same weekend, and that the time can fall over July 4th or our younger son's birthday only in odd years. It's not exactly "2 weeks" but it makes everything a WHOLE lot easier.

    I also have reservations about whether it's actually him that wants this time (I have strong reason to believe that it's his mom, not him, but I know that's mostly irrelevant) and the fact that he just resumed his weekends again in May. After a year of no contact and 20 months of not exercising any weekends he reappeared in December and insisted on resuming his weekends right away. One court trip later, his motion for contempt against me was denied and my temporary modification of visitation was granted for February through April. He didn't defend the absence or failing to exercise his weekends so that's now a matter of court record. If I thought that I could get the judge to deny granting more PT based on recent history I would try but I don't know that there's a snowball's chance in Arizona of that happening. I do believe, however, that the absence may help in getting the somewhat less than 2 weeks granted as I outlined above.

    Any thoughts on this situation would be greatly appreciated.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jul 2006
    Location
    Florida
    Posts
    2,773

    Default Re: Summer Parenting Time

    Quote Quoting Moony
    View Post
    Case is in MN, kids are 8 and 10. My ex-husband has filed a motion to have his parenting time increased (among other things). Currently he has EOW only. In his motion he's asking for "Two weeks in the summer" (verbatim). He and I do not communicate well at all and I want to make sure my answer is as precise as possible about setting out the summer parenting time.

    My problem is that the kids and I live in Iowa. Summer vacation has been very short due to school getting out later than scheduled after snow make-up days (this year it was June 3rd instead of May 29th) and then starting well before Labor Day (this year school started August 18th) as it always does. Because it is so short I'm having a hard time fitting two weeks for my ex into the summer without completely leaving me open to having NO weekends with the kids during the summer. I need to know if there's a specific schedule that I can present to the judge that he will accept without seeing it as too restricting. The judge who's hearing the case is very good about issuing very specific orders, but I'm just not sure if something restricting him from taking his "two weeks" over "my" weekends (say, specifically excluding 4 pm on Friday until 11 am Sunday [which is his PT EOW schedule] on "my" weekends from his summer PT) would fly.

    I want to propose something that's along the lines of that he may have two non-consecutive periods of seven days that run consecutive to his PT weekends without falling over "my" weekends. Then there's July 4th and our younger son's birthday to complicate the matter. I'm so lost on how to do this that I'm tempted to put that he can have from 9 am on the Monday immediately preceding one of his PT weekends until 6 pm on Sunday the same weekend, and that the time can fall over July 4th or our younger son's birthday only in odd years. It's not exactly "2 weeks" but it makes everything a WHOLE lot easier.

    I also have reservations about whether it's actually him that wants this time (I have strong reason to believe that it's his mom, not him, but I know that's mostly irrelevant) and the fact that he just resumed his weekends again in May. After a year of no contact and 20 months of not exercising any weekends he reappeared in December and insisted on resuming his weekends right away. One court trip later, his motion for contempt against me was denied and my temporary modification of visitation was granted for February through April. He didn't defend the absence or failing to exercise his weekends so that's now a matter of court record. If I thought that I could get the judge to deny granting more PT based on recent history I would try but I don't know that there's a snowball's chance in Arizona of that happening. I do believe, however, that the absence may help in getting the somewhat less than 2 weeks granted as I outlined above.

    Any thoughts on this situation would be greatly appreciated.

    What exactly are your reasons for not wanting to allow the 2 weeks in the summer?

    So, school let out this year 4 days, (Not weeks, days) later than it should have, why should that have any bearing on the issue?
    That means that this year, kids' summmer vacation was one day shy of 11 weeks, and you want to fight Dad having 2 weeks out of 11?
    It honestly sounds like you are trying to keep the children away from thier Dad, and that will not go over well in court.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Location
    Somewhere near Canada
    Posts
    35,894

    Default Re: Summer Parenting Time

    In addition to Xena's post...

    ...honestly, his recent history actually bolsters HIS case - not yours.

    He is doing everything right in wanting to show the court that he would like to be a bigger part of the children's lives and stands an excellent chance of getting what he wants. You get the kids every other weekend in addition to every day and night during the week.

    Yet you don't want Dad to have two weeks to himself with the kids in the summer? Why is that?

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Feb 2010
    Posts
    17

    Default Re: Summer Parenting Time

    Most of the problem is that I don't believe it's HIM that wants this extra time. What do I do when he has two weeks and they spend that entire time with his mother? They have NO relationship with her, her household isn't optimal for the kids to spend an extended period of time in (four adults, two young children with a newborn due soon, three bedrooms for all of them and there's CONSTANT bickering and noise). Our older son has medically diagnosed pervasive Asperger's. I can't imagine what our son would go through being in a virtual stranger's house for a week with constant chaos, no schedule, no routine and nothing familiar.

    Yes, it's great that he wants more time with the kids and if they're trying to build the kids' relationship with her by having them spend his weekends with her then more power to them, I guess. It just doesn't sit well with me that a man who claims to want more time with his kids doesn't use (and has never regularly used) the time he all ready has. Knowing he is barred from leaving the kids with anyone else overnight during that time would make me feel a WHOLE lot better but I don't believe that's even in the realm of possibility.

    My problem overall isn't the weekdays. He could honestly have 9 out of 11 weeks' worth of weekdays if he wanted them. BUT. I offered this man a solid week with the children this summer when he said he had vacation and wanted the kids some extra time. He told me he had other plans, that he only wanted them for one or maybe two days, and then they spent those two days with his mother. I offered him more time later in the summer and he declined completely. Now he takes me to court saying I never give him any extra time (he's only EVER asked once and he got it) and he wants two whole weeks? This is also the man who asked for full custody and then turned the kids back over after 5 weeks, turned down joint custody numerous times, and gave up ROFR (then moved out of town and didn't see the kids for three months) after insisting on having it.

    And so if what I wrote above isn't acceptable, then tell me what IS acceptable. All things considered, what is the most appropriate answer for me to put into my reply regarding summer visitation? I'm at the point where I'd gladly copy and paste something if it was precise and has the kids' best interests at heart.

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