What Constitutes Elder Abuse

[ivenustarr]

Ok here is the situation My 27 yr old brother and his girlfriend have forcefully moved in to my grandmothers home in California where I also live w/ my 9 yr old daughter in exchange for handling the bills and finances and taking care of her needs I pritty much stay rent free. My boyfriend also stays here. "But we had an agreement with my grandma before she took sick that he and I could stay and we would pay $125 a week. Over time when bills got to much for her do to the alzhiemers we renogotiated out aggreement to we'll pay the electric bill and I'll help with her finances and care. My brother moved in about a yr and a half ago or so ago against our grandmas wishes. she is the home owner and when he first showed up she asked him to leave and told him that he was not staying here. Of course he didn't listen and and we have only let him stay due to fear and intimidation. He is a very violent person and has made many threats towards us. sence he moved himself in our electric bill went from $178 to $597 a mounth. as did meny other bills. She is repetedly getting notices and fines from the city becase of his vehicals, and nieborhood activities. He has repeatedly hit us and walks around saying "I am the baddest mother f***er here and aint nobody going to make me leave." He is constantly flooding our house with criminals and criminal activity. if we address him or his friends about their behavior we are told that we need to respect him and his friends. we are all living in fear of this man and don't know how we can safely remove him from our home. He says if we kick him out he will retaliate. He pays no rent. We cant afford to suport him any more. Grandma is now in the later stages of alzheimers. She has gone from being coherent to not knowing her own name in less than a year. My uncle is her poa but wont do anything about it because he is afraid also. He and his girl friend have shown no intrest in seeking employment or a residance of there own. My brother has stated that he is waiting for grandma to pass on and can't hardly wait. He has just about exhosted he retirement resorces leaving us with little option on what we are going to do if we have to put her in to a home which I don't hink we can do with out selling her home. we want him out but he refuses to go.
Is he breaking any elder abuse laws that we can put him in jail for at least tell we can gather our courage to handle an eviction? we just really need him out of her home for her own helth and safty.

[aardvarc]

Ok here is the situation My 27 yr old brother and his girlfriend have forcefully moved in to my grandmothers home in California where I also live w/ my 9 yr old daughter in exchange for handling the bills and finances and taking care of her needs I pritty much stay rent free.

Unfortunately, none of that is in writing, correct? And your grandmother didn't make you her trustee, assign power of attorney, or create any other legal relationship that would empower you to handle matters that are legally HERS to deal with - leaving you as legally only a relative and a renter (whom she doesn't seek rent from)...yes?

My boyfriend also stays here. "But we had an agreement with my grandma before she took sick that he and I could stay and we would pay $125 a week. Over time when bills got to much for her do to the alzhiemers we renogotiated out aggreement to we'll pay the electric bill and I'll help with her finances and care.

Ok, that makes sense.

My brother moved in about a yr and a half ago or so ago against our grandmas wishes. she is the home owner and when he first showed up she asked him to leave and told him that he was not staying here.

And when he showed up, police weren't called? Home invasion is a crime. Allowing him to move in without taking ACTION to prevent it will be seen by the courts as her ALLOWING him to move in, even under duress.

Of course he didn't listen and and we have only let him stay due to fear and intimidation.

Legally, unless you meet the criteria listed above, there is no "we" - this is HER home and HER legal matter. You and your BF and child are legally nothing more than other tenants who are renting from her.

He is a very violent person and has made many threats towards us.

Police reports?

sence he moved himself in our electric bill went from $178 to $597 a mounth. as did meny other bills.

What else are "you" collectively paying for on behalf of he and his girlfriend? If you're buying food that they're eating, stop. Paying for cable? Internet? Those can shut off too. So long as someone is willing to give a jerk a free ride, most of the time they'll take it.

She is repetedly getting notices and fines from the city becase of his vehicals, and nieborhood activities.

Exactly what is the problem with the vehicles? If they are registered in his name, why has she not had his vehicles towed away, such that if he wants them back he can pay the fines after fixing whatever reason they were towed..or better yet, let the city tow them away?

He has repeatedly hit us and walks around saying "I am the baddest mother f***er here and aint nobody going to make me leave."

Hitting. That's a crime. Police reports? (Do you see a pattern developing here????)

He is constantly flooding our house with criminals and criminal activity.

Do I really need to say it? There are people who deal with criminals and criminal activity. They are called.....wait for it....the police. And, it should be noted, that a LACK of action, knowing that all this illegal activity is going on, could have consequences for you and your children. Pick. Up. The. Phone.

if we address him or his friends about their behavior we are told that we need to respect him and his friends. we are all living in fear of this man and don't know how we can safely remove him from our home.

Until you've got something documented, your odds of getting a restraining order are about 50/50. If you've got police reports of violence or criminal activity or both, your odds of being granted one go way up. Simply sitting back and doing nothing means that nothing will change.

He says if we kick him out he will retaliate.

That's a risk, for sure. But if you don't take action, you'll have to get used to the life that has been allowed up until now. It'll be hard for him to retaliate from behind bars, and should any retaliation take place with a restraining order in place, the amount of time behind bars goes up exponentially.

He pays no rent.

Neither do you, anymore. If the "landlord" wants to pursue that matter, she can, but you are a tenent in that matter. She can both pursue a restraining order AND file for eviction.

We cant afford to suport him any more.

So long as he's still living there, he and his clan will use electricity and water. You'll have to get creative to keep him from using up anything else (toilet paper, dish soap, shampoo, food, or whatever else they are consuming CAN be locked away). Again, it's the whole "free ride" thing.

Grandma is now in the later stages of alzheimers. She has gone from being coherent to not knowing her own name in less than a year. My uncle is her poa but wont do anything about it because he is afraid also.

Then it's time to light a fire under his butt, or, you and yours need to be looking for a place of your own. If he has her POA and refuses to act, you are at the mercy of his in-action. Or, you can consult a local family law attorney to discuss possibilities of changing the POA, but I wouldn't get my hopes up. Until then, you are legally only a tenant - one who has been taken advantage of, and not protected, to put it bluntly, by your uncle.

He and his girl friend have shown no intrest in seeking employment or a residance of there own.

Why should they? Your uncle is perfectly willing to allow them to stay, and for her money to be spent to support them. It's not like this is happening in secret, it's right out in the open - he just sounds happy to let YOU take the brunt of the problem because you are also financially dependent in the situation.

My brother has stated that he is waiting for grandma to pass on and can't hardly wait.

He probably suspects that uncle will continue to allow them to stay, with you paying the bills.

He has just about exhosted he retirement resorces leaving us with little option on what we are going to do if we have to put her in to a home which I don't hink we can do with out selling her home.

Up to your uncle. What does he say about that?

we want him out but he refuses to go.

Uncle. Need. To. Get. Off. His. Butt. And. Get. Involved. By filing for eviction, for starters. If uncle is afraid to do so, you'll be stuck. You've hitched your life to a wagon headed for a cliff and the reigns are in the hands of someone who has shown no desire to take control. Good luck with that.

Is he breaking any elder abuse laws that we can put him in jail for at least tell we can gather our courage to handle an eviction?

You can't put him in jail at all. Police can, but that means someone is going to have to grow a pair and actually REPORT any of the things that have been happening. But no, it's not likely to fall under elder abuse - it's a weak uncle who has ALLOWED him to live there rent free and irresponsibly.

we just really need him out of her home for her own helth and safty.

The only people who can make that happen will be police, the courts, and your uncle - probably in some combination. Until they're on board, that cliff is only going to get closer. You can choose to stay, or you can choose to jump before it goes over the edge. But either way, the direction is in other people's hands.

[SChinFChin]

You got some good advice, and let me add something from actual experience. The situation is not totally analogous, but you can see what has to be done.

My sister's mother-in-law lived in her own home, but with her younger son, who hangs around the wrong crowd. When I say young son, I mean someone in his mid 40's who never worked a steady job in his whole life, and engages in many of the activities you mentioned about your brother.

His excuse for living at home is he helps take care of his own mom. However, after a few falls where he failed to get her to a doctor or hospital, and failure in general to get other things done, like not feeding his own mom, letting her starve, his older brother got involved.

He had to go to court, present evidence, and got himself appointed as his mom's conservator. The stiuation diverges from yours here as he has to sell the family home to pay for his mom nursing home care, and had to get an eviction order as "conservator", so the home can be cleaned up and sold to pay for the care.

In your case, it would appear that the best scenario would be for you to stay in your grandma's home, and take care of her. Depending on guidelines of your state, you can even get Medicaid to send in and pay for a home attendent for several hours a day to help out as we are doing right now for my own mom with Alzheimers.

However, since you are NOT the owner of the home, you cannot force your brother to leave. And since your grandma has Alzheimers, there are competency issue to be first determined by a court, and then appoint someone to take charge, such as you.

You can evict your brother and take charge if you have the legal authority as conservator. Right now, you do not.

And you can gather evidence of what your brother is doing, particularly with the emphasis on "elder abuse".