Ex is Smoking Pot with My Kids

[Dogmatique]

Do you know many,how many have you asked?
If they did move up then cannabis must have been too weak.I don't smoke but I would like the option.

I don't understand why Mom wouldn't let him live with you.If he really wants to I would think that it might be easier to just talk her into it.If your the monster Mom has been telling them about then she has nothing to worry about because he will want to go back.
I am not taking your wife's side I just think logic and calm might be the answer.An investigation at her end might make her even more adversarial.
As a parent I would want my child to be with the parent they want as long as it is safe. I would coach my child to get Mom to agree.

Please don't take this the wrong way - but that is an absolutely craptacular idea!

You should NEVER EVER coach your child/ren and put them in the middle like this! And they do NOT get to choose where they live!

[greenmancan]

You should NEVER EVER coach your child/ren and put them in the middle like this! And they do NOT get to choose where they live!

Actually I agree,but if I believed he was in danger that would go out the window.Coach was a bad choice of words.
How about help him articulate his concerns and desires to Mom.
It is unfortunate that Mom has been doing this already according to the OP.I've seen parents who accuse the other of being a "Disney parent"then after sending the child to the other the child wants to come home.
They don't get to choose but sometimes it's in everyone's best interest to go with the lesser stress.I find it hard to believe that Mom can walk away feeling good about what she's doing after her son tells her what he has been able to articulate to Dad.I will admit I am often surprised by how callous people can be.