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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Aug 2010
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    2

    Default How to Keep the Custodial Parent's Abusive Boyfriend Away from Our Child

    My question involves a child custody case from the State of: California

    Hi my ex and i broke up 6 months ago and have a daughter who is almost 4yrs old. We have been on and off since her birth and already went to court when she was born but got back together shortly after. My ex was married before she met me to a guy that was a looser and after they divorced turned into a abuser and stalker. In dec 2005 he and his family came to my house and destroyed my work truck and tried to break into my house. Cops were called and report taken but no arrest because the only witness (my neighbor) didnt want to do a police line up for fear the same would happen to her. In mid 2006 the guy went to her sisters house were she was staying and yanked her around by her hair, hit her and made death threats. He was arrested and charged for both counts. There was 2 other times he hit and pushed her around where the cops were called but no charges pressed. Originally when we went to court my ex never brought her income/debt statement and i wanted back then to keep her ex away from my daughter fearing she might re lapse and want to go back. So instead of going back to our court date we agreed on a child support amount and she signed a contract with me stating "I will not ever have our daughter present around my ex husband as he is a violent and dangerous person and there are poilce and court records to prove this. We both agre this is best for our daughter and if I violate this rule I agree to give full physical custody to her father" . Now 6 months after we have seperated she is telling me she is going back to the violent ex and that he has changed and there is nothing i can do about it! Also before my daughter was even born SHE filed a paper with the court asking that my daughter not be allowed at my house because of the incident that happened with him and his family trashing the place, she felt my house wasnt safe. That paper was filed with the court, the other contract was just signed and dated by the both of us. I know they were a few years back, but she hasnt had contact with him for all these years and im sure the guy hasnt changed at all. Im not looking to take my daughter from her mother or tell her who she can or cant date. My concern is my daughter and her safety, I dont want her to get hit or witness her mother get hurt if and when he gets mad again. What are my chances of getting that kind of a order for him to have no contact with her?

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Location
    Somewhere near Canada
    Posts
    35,894

    Default Re: Can I Keep My Ex Gfs Abusive Boyfriend Away from My 3 Year Old Daughter

    Such an agreement about future custody is generally unenforceable; what you need is proof that this guy is a CURRENT threat to your child.

    So, what is he actually convicted of?

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Aug 2010
    Posts
    2

    Default Re: Can I Keep My Ex Gfs Abusive Boyfriend Away from My 3 Year Old Daughter

    That is tha last and current agreement we have, even though it was never filed with the court. She has only been in contact with this guy for a few months and is confusing the hell out of our daughter. She is coming over asking me why this guy sleeps in their bed and kiss her mommy? Its sad. This guy was convicted of domestic violence and death threats against my ex. I cant prove he is a threat now because its only been 2 months and i just found out last week. I dont think it should have to come down to her or my daughter being hit to be able to protect her? Those two papers show how much she agrees he is a bad and dangerous person, I would hope a judge would consider that?

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Location
    Somewhere near Canada
    Posts
    35,894

    Default Re: Can I Keep My Ex Gfs Abusive Boyfriend Away from My 3 Year Old Daughter

    Only an order signed by a judge is enforceable.

    Honestly - I doubt what you guys signed in the past is going to affect anything today unless there is a valid and current risk to your daughter's wellbeing.

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