Quote Quoting cyjeff
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I hope that isn't code for lover.

Because if you knew this was happening and DIDN'T stop it.....
The situation didn't become absolutely clear until long after the fact. He went to counseling to deal with some pervasive issues. He wanted (and received) validation that he wasn't a user, that his long term infidelity was justifiable and that he wasn't responsible for his wife's death.

There was an important clue that didn't sink in at the time. He asked me a loaded question to make me tell him that it was OK not to bring his wife to the emergency room. I told him that I wasn't there and couldn't judge but that he should probably take her if there was any doubt. At the minimum, he should tell her doctors about her symptoms, instead of me. He told me that he would but subsequent conversations revealed that he had not. My reply irritated him; something that I had been very careful to avoid because he was under great stress.