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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jul 2010

    Default Is "Good Samaritan" Harassment/Stalking a Defense

    My question involves restraining orders in the State of: San Francisco, California

    So, this is a kind of strange situation... My ex-girlfriend (and now business partner) and I were had a really big argument... and a few days later she suddenly vanished without a trace. A huge sum of money was taken out of my account, her phone was disconnected, and she seeming was no longer living at her apartment... It was like she had evaporated!

    I was terrified that something happened to her, and spent the next two weeks trying everything I could think of to find her, called missing persons more than once, sent a trillion emails to her and her friends (not all of them nice, as I grew more frantic for her safety), even signed up for crime reports and looked for any report that matched her description.

    And all the while, she was collecting evidence for a "stalking" claim...

    Two weeks later, I was served a TRO and the hearing is coming up. The thing is, parts of what she claimed is true in a sense (and she claimed a LOT, the declaration was 200 pages long!). I mean, I completely admit that I was desperately trying to find her... Except I wasn't trying to find her to harass or stalk her, I was worried sick about what happened to her!

    I really don't want to have a PRO on my head, that's such a ridiculous punishment for trying to help someone I honestly believed was in incredible danger...

    I mean, I have a few bits of reasonable proof. Phone records of calling missing persons (how many stalkers do that?), I've got the bank records showing the big withdraw on the same day she vanished... Maybe a few more things if I hunt around, but I wasn't documenting everything I was doing to later present in court, who would even think to do that?

    I've been reading up, and it sounds like the courts are SO unfair it won't matter what I provide as defense... Is there any reasonable way to defend myself? Or even better, is there any legal way to contact her to see if there is anything we can work out other than going to court? I think maybe she just didn't know how scared I was for her life, and maybe if she knows, she'd calm down and drop the order? This is all just so surreal!

    Any help/advice would be appreciated. Oh, and I can't afford a lawyer, now got an empty bank account... Also, I don't think I can do anything about getting the money back. She used a really old check that I had given her to cover her unpaid rent. I gave it willing to help her out in a tough time, but she later said she was going to be ok after all, and said she'd gotten rid of the check. It had my signature on it, and I had given it to her willingly, it's just that check was written SO many months ago... after she said it was thrown away I stopped accounting for it. But I think it's legal since I gave it of my own volition, right?

    Gah, I swear, that woman is such trouble...

    Oh, and if the PRO does happen, does that mean I couldn't sue for the money I "loaned" to her? Does taking someone to small claim's court count as "contact"?

    Sorry, one more thing... She's still a member of our LLC. I'm pretty sure I'm required by California law to send her some things, like tax documents, notifications of votes and meetings, her share of the profits, etc. Are these things going to be considered "contact", and if so, how can I send something legally to a protected person? Is there a process for this? I can't even remove myself from the company and start a new one as that requires a unanimous vote to transfer my stake to someone else, gak!

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Sep 2005
    Behind a Desk

    Default Re: Is "Good Samaritan" Harassment/Stalking a Defense

    Given how desperate you were, and how you believe she was in "incredible danger", the police report you filed reporting her as a missing person surely will help you prove your good intent. Right?

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