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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jul 2010
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    3

    Default Accused of Sexual Harassment by Ex-Friend

    My question involves criminal law for the state of: Connecticut

    All the details would fill the pages of a novel so I'm going to just provide Cliff notes.

    Before I was married, when my wife (let's call her M) and I were just dating, we hit a rough spot in our relationship. We were living together in a condo and could not split easily but things were very rocky. During this time I befriended a coworker (let's call her N) who came onto me in a strong way. Nothing really happened, perhaps a kiss goodnight that lingered a little too long.

    Anyway I reconciled with M and remained good friends with N. M and N actually grew to be friends with each other, so much so that N was the maid-of-honor at my wedding to M in May 2009.

    Around the time I was married N started dating a guy named Q. The four of us became friends, played on a softball team together, vacationed together, etc. Q suddenly decided he no longer wanted N to be friends with either me or my wife nor did he want them as a couple to hang out with us as a couple. N agreed to his wishes, which was upsetting to both myself and my wife.

    I have been avoiding N at work, since the falling out. I was avoiding her because 1) it was awkward to be around her after she told me she no longer wanted to remain friends and 2) her boyfriend probably would prefer our at work contact to be minimal. Note that in terms of work-related business I've been fine. If she needs my help I've been helpful and we can work on projects together. I simply do not stop by her office to chat nor do I join her for lunch.

    She is now claiming that by avoiding her I've created a hostile work environment and that the reason I'm avoiding her is that she refused to meet me in a social setting outside of work.

    My boss said I'm on 6 months probation and that I need to stop avoiding her. I asked him what to do if she walked into my office for computer help, for example, and because our doors can not be propped open I'd be behind closed doors one-on-one with her after she made sexual harassment claims. He said that I must treat her as if nothing happened and fix the computer problem even with her sitting right next to me alone in my office.

    I feel like I'm getting set up for failure here.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Sep 2005
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    Behind a Desk
    Posts
    98,846

    Default Re: Accused of Sexual Harassment by Ex-Friend

    Your choices appear to be (a) do your job, (b) refuse to do your job and get disciplined by your boss, or (c) find a job somewhere else.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Mar 2007
    Posts
    9,096

    Default Re: Accused of Sexual Harassment by Ex-Friend

    I would add that you should NEVER be in a closed door place with her alone.

    If your office door doesn't prop open, go to a conference room and ask that someone else be present.

    For what it is worth, I have never heard of a sexual harassment claim when contact was eliminated or reduced.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Jul 2010
    Posts
    3

    Default Re: Accused of Sexual Harassment by Ex-Friend

    Quote Quoting Mr. Knowitall
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    Your choices appear to be (a) do your job, (b) refuse to do your job and get disciplined by your boss, or (c) find a job somewhere else.
    Umm... I was doing my job before. I wasn't be disciplined for not doing my job. I guess you didn't read what I wrote. Thanks for the response but that wasn't helpful at all.

    Quote Quoting cyjeff
    View Post
    I would add that you should NEVER be in a closed door place with her alone.

    If your office door doesn't prop open, go to a conference room and ask that someone else be present.

    For what it is worth, I have never heard of a sexual harassment claim when contact was eliminated or reduced.
    Definitely good advise, Thanks Jeff. You sound like you know your stuff so it makes me feel a little better that sexual harassment is likely not the case for reduced/eliminated contact.

    I guess I was just wondering if anyone thought it would be good to make some sort of formal statement before she makes any more accusations (meaning a statement in writing). I also don't know my legal recourse if my boss decides to fire me over these false and unfounded accusations.

    I actually think I may have found another position in the same company to which I can make a lateral move, work for a new boss and with new people. I'm going to talk to my current boss Tuesday about the transfer so maybe this will fix everything.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Jan 2008
    Location
    Toledo, OH
    Posts
    16,307

    Default Re: Accused of Sexual Harassment by Ex-Friend

    She is now claiming that by avoiding her I've created a hostile work environment and that the reason I'm avoiding her is that she refused to meet me in a social setting outside of work.
    Those words do not mean what she thinks they mean. "Hostile work environment" does not mean "anything I get my britches in a bunch over". It means that one is unable to reasonably do one's job, due to harassment.

    Avoiding contact with someone is NOT harassment - sexual or otherwise. Your boss apparently doesn't understand this, or is too frightened of the possibility of litigation to tell her to grow up.

    I guess I was just wondering if anyone thought it would be good to make some sort of formal statement before she makes any more accusations (meaning a statement in writing).
    Couldn't hurt to have a statement in your personnel file, stating simply that you have no social contact with her inside or outside of work, and your contact is strictly professional.

    I also don't know my legal recourse if my boss decides to fire me over these false and unfounded accusations.
    Your boss can fire you because it's Monday. Unless you're fired based on your race, gender, age, religion, or disability, you've no recourse.

    Seems to me your best option is to seek the transfer.

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Jul 2010
    Posts
    3

    Default Re: Accused of Sexual Harassment by Ex-Friend

    Quote Quoting LawResearcherMissy
    View Post
    Your boss can fire you because it's Monday. Unless you're fired based on your race, gender, age, religion, or disability, you've no recourse.

    Seems to me your best option is to seek the transfer.
    You're absolutely right, an employee can be fired for any reason. The thing I didn't mention is that my "job" is a graduate assistant in a PhD program.

    The idea is I work my ass off for about 5 years doing research I should make $80K/yr. for doing and I accept $20K/yr. instead. At the end of the 5 years I get two letters and a period in front of my last name (Dr.).

    Anyway, "fired" means either expelled from school or simply barred from using my past 3 years of research in my PhD thesis and having to start the 5 year program from the beginning with another professor. I think, however, I may be able to switch to another research lab and collect the rest of my data. Hopefully this is the case.

    I know the student aspect adds another dimension of complexity. Anyone with insight, thank you in advance for sharing.

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