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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jul 2010
    Posts
    1

    Default What Can I Do when Cyber Blackmailed

    My question involves court procedures for the state of: texas

    Thank you in advance for reading; I appreciate your time. Please I ask the readers to put aside any judgment of me at this time... With that said, let shorten this as much as possible. Sunday night I got into an argument with me 2 year SO(both gay women). We both purchased a house with last year, etc. and have our ups and downs in the relationship but generally we both love each other very much. After said argument (I had too much to drink and was being resentful and pouty) I posted a ridiculous, short-lived ad on craigslist under casual encounters (WFM) out of spite and because I was angry. I had no intention of following through with anything and deleted the ad in less than 30 minutes. I just wanted to vent I don't know. (I put my alternate yahoo email address on the ad)

    The next morning, I get an email from an anonymous g-mail user, who emailed my PERSONAL email address as well as the yahoo one posted. he addressed me by first and last name (which you can find because i am googl-able from a side online business.) it read something like this:
    "hello there, jane smith.

    you don't know me and we have never met. susan is an acquaintance of mine. it would be in your mutual interests that you reveal this ad and your honest intentions to susan. be clear, open, and honest. i will anonymously send her the attached JPG file from your CL ad and this e-mail one week from today or after you've let me know that you have had the discussion.

    i understand if you feel frustrated or even violated. understand that i have nothing against you nor anything to gain or lose. i do not desire to be mean to you, just a respectful friend of Susan and good human being. whatever the problems confronting your relationship may be, i sincerely hope that you two might perhaps use this as an opportunity to work through them.

    i would be willing to provide mediation of a non-professional and un-clinical sort. sometimes an uninvolved 3rd party can bring some clarity of thought to a complicated situation. that kind of communication does sound like something that you might appreciate and respond to. but you'd each have to agree about it. i won't meet with you alone or do anything that might create a false impression of bias or impropriety. trust is essential in every form of productive human relationships." and signed anonymous.

    I haven't responded to this creep. The screen shot image he sent include my CL ad, and about 4 tabs visible in his browswer - 1 to my blogger profile, 1 for my twitter account, 1 for our house remodel blog, and something else I don't know. I don't even know if he KNOWS my SO, otherwise why not tell her right away? Most people I think would do so, especially if it was their friend and they did not "know" the person they were dating for 2+ years and lived with. And meet meet this guy? Are they insane? Someone told me someone was trying "jigsaw me" (from the SAW movies). teach me a lesson.

    I don't know what to do, other than block his email address on my SO's email account but he could clearly just make another one. The ad is truly embarrassing and my SO will surely leave me; not only that but is studying for a major test to take in 1 month. She would never trust me again online, even though I've never done anything like this before. But I would go to any length to prevent this from happening.

    I don't know how to respond to blackmail. Please help! I have been talking about this with my best friend who believes I am screwed either way no matter what. I have considered responding to this person, with image attached, and CC'ing my SO's "email" (one that is similar to hers because there are characters that can make it look real), as well as CCing a "fake" attorney at a Houston law firm. I want to say something like, "The discussion has been had between us, and our attorney at such and such law firm has initiated a subpoena to Google Gmail User Support to retrieve the original email you sent. Legal action will be pursued if you make contact with either of us again for (blackmail???)" and put some sort of cyber harassment statute clause in there I don't know.

    Is this some sort of cyber harassment? What can I do? What would I do? Please please please help.

  2. #2

    Default Re: What Can I Do when Cyber Blackmailed

    You did post the ad online so I don't believe there's anything wrong with sending it to someone as posted. It also doesn't sound like blackmail. You can tell them to stop communicating with you but they might still tell your SO. This is the problem with making your life accessible online.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Jun 2007
    Posts
    369

    Default Re: What Can I Do when Cyber Blackmailed

    who are u to call him a creep if you put the ad out and he feels like u were creepin on his friend? you can try to figure out who they are through their e mail try to communicate with them thru the messenger on a different name, maybe knowing their identity will keep them at bay but your options here are limted. its not legalling wrong either, its not like he wanted a fee for being the 3rd party ref..

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Jan 2008
    Location
    Toledo, OH
    Posts
    16,307

    Default Re: What Can I Do when Cyber Blackmailed

    I don't know how to respond to blackmail. Please help!
    You don't want my help, but I'm going to offer it anyways.

    It's time to hitch up your ovaries, step into your Big Girl Britches, and have A Conversation with your SO. And it needs to start with "Darling, I've been the most egregious bitch, and I'm so very sorry..."

    Then fess up. Not because some busybody is threatening to tattle, but because it's the right thing to do.

    Don't try hacking into or spoofing her e-mail account (illegal!) or pretending you're retaining counsel (unethical!) or any other such teenaged nonsense. A Conversation. The kind mature, intelligent women have when there's been a lovers' quarrel and one has behaved like a 12 year old girl in a snit.

    It's the only way to effectively disarm your would-be busybody. If she's going to leave you because you did something stupid in a snit, well, there's not that much there worth fighting for anyway, is there?

    Yes, I know it sounds harsh. But I've been married 20 years, and my spouse and I both have been much meaner to each other in fits of immaturity. A Conversation is really the only way to go if things are meant to go on.

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