My question involves adoption law for the State of: ny
Hello!
I have a 5 year old child, and am engaged to (V).... I found out i was expecting @ 17 weeks pregnant. At the time i already began dating E (non biological father on birth certificate) after leaving B (biological father) five months prior. When I found I was pregnant, we thought the baby surely was E's, but after the 1st prenatal visit, dates proved that was not the case. When telling B, he pushed me off the porch & demanded I get an abortion. I couldnt expect anything more. He has 4 other children by 3 different women all under the age of 3 @ that time, homeless and living with his mother, he sold crack and occasionally cocaine to pay for his clothes, cars, jewlery, marajauna and girlfriends and has never in his life had a job until we dated the year prior when he was 26.... Because E and i had been close friends since we were children and were intimate for a while @ that point, we decided to raise the child together. We had plans of being a family, and so he accepted all rights. However after the baby's birth, things had not gone as expected. Born when E and i were just 18, it seemed to take a toll on him. We decided to seperate when my daughter was 17 months. Having very little family with no support, even temporarily, I went to live with a friend from high school who (after i had been living there i discovered) she was dating B's brother. This made me think it was some sort of “sign” (I was naive) that possibly B and I should try. But it was then that I discovered that B had relapsed and become a meth addict & was living the lifestyle that came with it. His family urged I stay away, because my presence might upset the mothers of his other 4 children. Shortly after that, he ended up in jail for drugs and child support. He has been in and out ever since, so I hear. Now that he's been out for about a year, he got my phone number through my mother. This is the reason I know he still sells because she's become one of his “customers” while we were dating. Disgusting, I know. Anyhow, he now calls constantly. I answered the first time because the number had come from my old Pennsylvania area code. He threatens to take custody & take me to court. My daughter is now 5. Has never met him, besides while he was drugged up (although I got her out of there immediately). And he has never tied to contact her until now. Although, he claimed he tried weekly while in jail. He says he has a job & wants to be in her life. I am now engaged, my daughter is incredibly happy with our little family & we're expecting a second child. My fiance is established, takes care of us both while im am finishing up my RN degree. E said he would sign for the adoption (he is on the birth cert) after we marry. Though I am aware I have to write B's name too for contact during that procedure. My questions are:
1)What are the odds of B getting any type of custody
2)Would he qualify as unfit
3)How would this impede the step parent adoption process, though thats far down the time line
I am worried that exposure to him would completely undermine all that I have been striving to protect my child from. Drug use and selling, lifestyle instability, multiple partners, incarceration & the “grime” and “hood glamour” of how he's living. Although he has already expressed he does not want to go to court, he said he would if I dont let him know his child.
Sorry so long....
Thanks in advance

