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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jun 2010
    Posts
    1

    Default My Wife Says That the Child Support Money She Gets is Her Payment for Being a Mom

    My question involves child support in the State of: New York

    We are seperated and me another man whom she has a kid with pay her a combined sum of over $200/ week.She uses this money to buy cigarettes,have hi-speed internet to play facebook games on all day,buy gas to drive her friends around with,her cell phone bill,etc.....She says its "her" money,but I thought child support was to go all to the children,maybe i was mistaken.She acts smug and says "I"pay this bill,"i" pay that bill,but the only money she has had for years is the money me and another man have given her that I "thought" was suppose to all go to my kids.She hasn't held a job in years.She really dont have many bills to pay regardless,as a charitable organization has paid almost her entire rent every month for at least 8 yrs."None" of the money goes to the kids,"she"spends it all,says child support is for "the household",which really means its a reason she can spend it all on herself.At least I dont have have to worry about my kids starving due to this selfish person,as she has also got about $500/month in food stamps for years,which I am hoping means my kids get to eat.My question is simply "isn't child support to completely go to the children"?Its not like its alimony.If she wants luxuries,which she makes sure she has with child support money,shouldn't she get at least a part time job to cover her own "self absorbed,asshole support?"

  2. #2

    Default Re: My Wife Says That the Child Support Money She Gets is Her Payment for Being a Mom

    unfortunately, she is entitled to spend the money on what she sees fit. I myself recently went through a child support case, and no matter what state it is in, the money still supplies the child with a roof over his/her head, food, transportation, ect.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Sep 2005
    Location
    Behind a Desk
    Posts
    98,846

    Default Re: My Wife Says That the Child Support Money She Gets is Her Payment for Being a Mom

    Your ex- gets to spend her child support to support her household. Money is fungible. If she uses some of her money to provide food and shelter and other money to buy cigarettes, she's still taking care of her children. You have no right to dictate how she spends her child support money. If the children are being neglected your remedy is to take her back to court and establish yourself as a more suitable custodian.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Jul 2010
    Posts
    1

    Default Re: My Wife Says That the Child Support Money She Gets is Her Payment for Being a Mom

    She sounds like a real bitch to me.

  5. #5

    Default Re: My Wife Says That the Child Support Money She Gets is Her Payment for Being a Mom

    Quote Quoting Scott34
    View Post
    She sounds like a real bitch to me.
    As you will find out, you only get one side of the story from a post. Stories get skewed to the advantage of whomever may be posting. Bottom line is that child suppport is meant to help with the costs of raising a child, and can be spent at the discretion of the CP. If you read over other posts, you will find that this is a common theme (spend the money on my kids and account for every penny or meet these conditions or I shouldn't have to pay). Thats not how it works. There are many married couples that smoke, drink, go on vacations etc, and the money they spend is not all attributable to the children. The rules don't change just because you no longer live together.

  6. #6

    Default Re: My Wife Says That the Child Support Money She Gets is Her Payment for Being a Mom

    Don't feel bad Zorch.I got a Ex Wife that is the same way.But in a few months her CS Pay Check days are over with...Poor Girl it's time for you to find another Hand Out somewhere else!....LOL!

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Nov 2009
    Posts
    256

    Default Re: My Wife Says That the Child Support Money She Gets is Her Payment for Being a Mom

    Quote Quoting zorch240
    View Post
    My question involves child support in the State of: New York

    We are seperated and me another man whom she has a kid with pay her a combined sum of over $200/ week.She uses this money to buy cigarettes,have hi-speed internet to play facebook games on all day,buy gas to drive her friends around with,her cell phone bill,etc.....She says its "her" money,but I thought child support was to go all to the children,maybe i was mistaken.She acts smug and says "I"pay this bill,"i" pay that bill,but the only money she has had for years is the money me and another man have given her that I "thought" was suppose to all go to my kids.She hasn't held a job in years.She really dont have many bills to pay regardless,as a charitable organization has paid almost her entire rent every month for at least 8 yrs."None" of the money goes to the kids,"she"spends it all,says child support is for "the household",which really means its a reason she can spend it all on herself.At least I dont have have to worry about my kids starving due to this selfish person,as she has also got about $500/month in food stamps for years,which I am hoping means my kids get to eat.My question is simply "isn't child support to completely go to the children"?Its not like its alimony.If she wants luxuries,which she makes sure she has with child support money,shouldn't she get at least a part time job to cover her own "self absorbed,asshole support?"
    How much of this did you know when you made a kid with her?

    As long as the kids are fed, clothed and housed then there's nothing you can do other than suck it up.

    If she's so terrible, why not fight for custody?

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Sep 2010
    Location
    IN
    Posts
    9

    Default Re: My Wife Says That the Child Support Money She Gets is Her Payment for Being a Mom

    Im in same situation... my ex bought a brand new home with her accumualted CS. The kids will be out on the own before they get to enjoy the house that they/we paid for. They've lived without all the nice things that we originally intended for them to have. It make me sad to see them in clothes that were purchased at discount stores & yard sales. They have very little personal belongings, clothes, shoes, toys, electonic gadgets, bikes, cars. They get little or no special activies planned by the mother. You see I grew up with nothing & felt shame for not having what my other friends had. I know what it feels like. So after I bettering my life & income I felt secure that my family would never do without. Was not counting on getting a divorce & it was never explained top me during marriage the financial consequences I would have to face if my wife decides to go back on her vows. She got a finacial award & the luxury of keeping the 2 kids. I was left heartbroken, sad, depressed & minus $975 per month from my paycheck. Now my children were going to feel what I had to go through growing up & I dont have any rights whatsoever to demmand she uses the money for the children. While my ex wife lived with her new man, she stockpiled all the money for 10 years enough to make a down payment on a brand new home.

    Is it too hard for the courts to see that kids are better off being in the home where the money is.

    A lot of people in forums will say how unfortunate this is but they are usually the same people bashing dads who try to get out of the unfairness. (ive noticed).

  9. #9

    Default Re: My Wife Says That the Child Support Money She Gets is Her Payment for Being a Mom

    The real bottom line is this: if you chose to make a child with a bitch, a money hungry vampire, an irresponsible person, someone with lots of issues of various types...ultimately that was YOUR choice. That you choose poorly doesn't become the state's problem so long as the minimal needs of the children are met. The government didn't CAUSE the problems, and the very stark reality is that the government also can't FIX every aspect of problems that people create for themselves.

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Location
    Somewhere near Canada
    Posts
    35,894

    Default Re: My Wife Says That the Child Support Money She Gets is Her Payment for Being a Mom

    The children are not necessarily better off in the home "where the money is". To suggest this does a great disservice to those parents who are NOT well-off, but manage to raise healthy, well-adjusted kids who become wonderful members of society.

    And also ignores the spoiled rich kids who expect everything to be handed to them on a plate.

    There are decent - and lousy - parents in both the wealthy and poor categories and obviously, there is far more to raising a child than being able to buy new Calvin Klein jeans every season.

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