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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jun 2010
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    3

    Default Abandonment and Step-Parent Adoption

    My question involves adoption law for the State of: Kentucky.

    Hello. I have skimmed through all of the related posts hoping to find the answer to my question but none of them seemed to have the exact same circumstances. So, if I [I]am[I] repeating, I do apologize.

    I had a brief relationship while in the service with another service member (different branch) and became pregnant. When we realized we were pregnant we were based on different posts, halfway across the country. Via telephone we discussed abortion but in the end I couldn't bring myself to follow through. Shortly thereafter he decided that he couldn't/wouldn't be a part of the child's life for whatever reason.
    At approx. three months gestation I became acquainted with my now husband. We married a year and a half later and have another child together. I contacted the child's bio-father (via cell-phone) in an attempt to have him agree to terminate his parental rights. He consented and stated he would email me his address for my lawyer to contact him. I never recieved anything and I no longer know where he is stationed. I've tried to contact him via phone and email with no luck, and have even tried the social networking sites. It's as if he's dropped off of the face of the earth. Honestly, he may have because he was in a special operations unit that deployed quite often. I am no longer in the service. His parents knew he impregnated someone (he stated this) but I have no idea who they are except they (at that time) lived in California. My husband would like to adopt my child but I'm assuming that since we can't find the bio-father that it will be a very costly event and, frankly, we are not millionaires.
    My child is now three years old, the bio-father has never once seen him, he is not on the birth certificate, and I receive no support.
    We now live in Kentucky but my child was born in Arkansas and my best guess is that bio-father is in California or West Virginia or over-seas.
    If you can offer any advice it would be greatly appreciated.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Location
    Somewhere near Canada
    Posts
    35,894

    Default Re: Abandonment/Step-Parent Adoption

    If Dad is deployed or under any special set of circumstances, abandonment is not going to be an option for you.

    You seriously need to speak with an attorney. This is not going to be a DIY project. Do whatever it takes to get the money together.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Jun 2010
    Posts
    3

    Default Re: Abandonment/Step-Parent Adoption

    I understand that he's protected through the Soldiers/Sailor's Act when he's deployed but what about his time spent in the U.S. and the lack of communication? And, I sincerely hope this isn't the case, what if he is deceased? Or what if he's out of the service, too?

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Location
    Somewhere near Canada
    Posts
    35,894

    Default Re: Abandonment/Step-Parent Adoption

    Have you even tried to find him?

    Seriously?

    It matters.

    Were there ANY court orders for visitation, custody or support? Is he legally established as father?

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Jun 2010
    Posts
    3

    Default Re: Abandonment/Step-Parent Adoption

    Quote Quoting Dogmatique
    View Post
    Have you even tried to find him?

    Seriously?

    It matters.

    Were there ANY court orders for visitation, custody or support? Is he legally established as father?
    I've answered all of these questions in the initial post. Do not speak to me as if I'm cold-hearted or ignorant.

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Location
    Somewhere near Canada
    Posts
    35,894

    Default Re: Abandonment/Step-Parent Adoption

    You were given the correct legal advice.

    Feel free to pay an attorney to listen to your tantrum as s/he tells you the exact same things, and asks you the exact same questions.

    Have a great day.

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Sep 2009
    Location
    Minneapolis/St. Paul area
    Posts
    497

    Default Re: Abandonment and Step-Parent Adoption

    OP, It doesn't sound as though your child's father was ever established as the legal father in the first place. That will probably have to be done prior to adoption (otherwise the bio-dad, technically has no rights to relinquish). You really need a lawyer's help with this. And when you seek a free/low cost initial consult with an attorney, you may be told that you can publish notice of your husband's intent to adopt in local papers (or something along those lines) and that will count as service in the courts eyes. I strongly recommend, however, that before you do that, you exhaust all possible avenues to locate him. You don't want to risk having the adoption reversed.
    With that said, here are my suggestions for locating bio-dad:
    - Have you tried using any of the background check websites? What about reverse phone number lookup?
    - Have you contacted the personnel center for his military branch, or looked to see if they have a personnel directory (I know that the Air Force has such a directory here)?

    Good luck.

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