How to Get Full Custody - Former Spouse Allows No Access to Child

[Dee Justice]

SC

If an Ex tries to see their child from a former marriage, but the former spouse makes things impossible for the other parent to see the child(example), not putting the child on a plane 3 times for visitation even though ex has purchased and sent former spouse tickets well in advance(6 months), and then the former spouse refuses to meet half way but out of the blue drops child off for one visitation (14 hour drive both ways), but then refuses to pick child up as previously agreed upon. Will a judge see it as the ex not trying to be there for the child. Average time between allowed communication with child that former spouse is 5-7 days, pays 1200 a month in child support for 1 child every month, has never been late. EX calls daily leaving messages for child. What can be used as a good defense on why the Ex should get full custody, if the judge says that the three missed vistations made it to long between physically seeing the child aprox. 1 year. Former spouse has a case history of marital adult maltreatment of Ex, and has even taken child to an exchange location after knowing that Ex would not be there because former spouse refused to give entire visitation time, and threatened to call Police if Ex does not bring child back 2 days early. Waited at location with child 4 hours and had child call ex crying. No calls on Holidays, no calls to grandparents on EX's side of family. ETC. Most importantly child has health issues not addressed by former spouse.

Vistation agreement does not have anything about either ex or former spouses role in travel arrangements.

[Dogmatique]

Has the NCP filed contempt with the courts?

If not, NCP has little to no chance of changing custody.

ETA: if travel arrangements aren't spelled out clearly, it's unlikely that either parent will get dinged for what you've said here.

[Dee Justice]

Has the NCP filed contempt with the courts?

If not, NCP has little to no chance of changing custody.

ETA: if travel arrangements aren't spelled out clearly, it's unlikely that either parent will get dinged for what you've said here.

Ex has filed for full custody. Got the lawyer about 8 months ago,now lawyer saying sice vistations were missed because of reasons in first post, a judge would be reluctant to give full custody, stated that lack of seeing child can damn ex. Lawyer was kept on loop of why visitation didn't happen, with former spouse not putting child on plane, and abandoning child with ex, after former spouse had stated she would drop off and pick up child. Main question is, will a judge hold lack of seeing child despite failed attempts against Ex.

[Dogmatique]

Depends on the judge.

Why is full custody being sought anyway? What are the current custody orders? Do you mean full physical? full legal? Both?

[Dee Justice]

Child is allergic to smoke and former spouse smokes outside in childs presence and in house with child present. Child has been couching horribly for 5 weeks, former spouse giving child only cough syrup, despite really good health insurance that ex pays for(and ex's many many request to get daughter to doctor). Child is also allergic to alot of animals, but former spouse takes child to non profit animals events, where child has to be around alot of animals that are not medically up to date on immunizations, and child coughs terribly as a result.(Child protective services not interested in helping because child has a good school record with grades, and has only seen doctor once since moving to SC 2 1/2 yrs ago.

Child is at 15% for weight, and 90% in height(3o pounds under weight). Will only eat carrots and thousand island dressing, and fish sticks, takes about a week to get child to eat healthy foods when child is on visitation(gains about 2 ounds in 5 week visit, including different meats and veggies, all home cooked meals as compared to Kids cuisine which child also gets for dinner (child) is 10 years old.

Child is not allowed to talk to Ex's side of family, maybe once a year. Child does not get to open packages from Ex before former spouse has gone through package, and former spouse has given gifts from EX to former spouses siblings to give to the child for Birthday and Christmas gifts. Child is not allowed to send Ex birthday Fathers day, Christmas cards or gifts, child is forced to tell Ex that gifts are purchased and in the mail, and two weeks later says they were never purchased.

Former spouse refuses to agree on meeting places to exchange child, then take child to meeting places that Ex will not be at, then sits there with child for hours and has child call Ex crying( breaks childs heart).

Ex calls child everyday and leaves a message because former spouse will not answer phone. Ex gets about 4 calls a month from child, calls are all monitored by former spouse, and answers to questions are always, not much, everything is the same, I;m tired, I didn't call because I forgot. Answers are repeated as if read off of clipboard.

Current custody is granted from another state and joint, with former spouse having residential custody. Ex gets 5 weeks in summer, half of Easter and Christmas Breaks, Thanksgiving and Spring Break rotate each year.

Yes full physical custody and legal custody

[Dogmatique]

Child is allergic to smoke and former spouse smokes outside in childs presence and in house with child present. Child has been couching horribly for 5 weeks, former spouse giving child only cough syrup, despite really good health insurance that ex pays for(and ex's many many request to get daughter to doctor). Child is also allergic to alot of animals, but former spouse takes child to non profit animals events, where child has to be around alot of animals that are not medically up to date on immunizations, and child coughs terribly as a result.(Child protective services not interested in helping because child has a good school record with grades, and has only seen doctor once since moving to SC 2 1/2 yrs ago.

Child is at 15% for weight, and 90% in height(3o pounds under weight). Will only eat carrots and thousand island dressing, and fish sticks, takes about a week to get child to eat healthy foods when child is on visitation(gains about 2 ounds in 5 week visit, including different meats and veggies, all home cooked meals as compared to Kids cuisine which child also gets for dinner (child) is 10 years old.

Child is not allowed to talk to Ex's side of family, maybe once a year. Child does not get to open packages from Ex before former spouse has gone through package, and former spouse has given gifts from EX to former spouses siblings to give to the child for Birthday and Christmas gifts. Child is not allowed to send Ex birthday Fathers day, Christmas cards or gifts, child is forced to tell Ex that gifts are purchased and in the mail, and two weeks later says they were never purchased.

Former spouse refuses to agree on meeting places to exchange child, then take child to meeting places that Ex will not be at, then sits there with child for hours and has child call Ex crying( breaks childs heart).

Ex calls child everyday and leaves a message because former spouse will not answer phone. Ex gets about 4 calls a month from child, calls are all monitored by former spouse, and answers to questions are always, not much, everything is the same, I;m tired, I didn't call because I forgot. Answers are repeated as if read off of clipboard.

Current custody is granted from another state and joint, with former spouse having residential custody. Ex gets 5 weeks in summer, half of Easter and Christmas Breaks, Thanksgiving and Spring Break rotate each year.

Yes full physical custody and legal custody

I'm sorry, I cannot see this happening at all.

If CPS have been involved and found nothing wrong the chances of full physical and legal custody are slim to none.

The child's parent is absolutely not obliged to force or allow contact with the other parent's family nor is the parent obliged to allow sending gifts; this is a parenting difference and I would hope any decent attorney would encourage the parent to drop that route immediately.

[Dee Justice]

CPS was involved 2 yrs ago, not since weight and height, allergy issues now, we keep telling lawyer, and we wait for his advice. We are in a different state, and don't know SC procedure, CPS was in PA. The gift thing is not huge, it is the no contact with Ex, and his family that is an issue. The constant lies the child is made to tell Ex, and constant visitation issues, mostly of course is allergy issues and having to hear all of the coughing and hearing that child says child is not feeling well. MSA states child is to live the way she was accustomed to living while parents were together, and that normal contact was to be provided to each parent when other has custody.(Unmonitored).

[Dogmatique]

The fact that live in a different state makes the task that much harder.

You would virtually have to prove Mom to be completely legally unfit - or move to where the child is now in order to have residential custody changed.

The other parent is not obliged to allow any contact between the child and the NCP's family.

If the NCP hasn't been filing contempt - in court - during the lost visitation then the likelihood is that the CP will receive, at worst, a slap on the wrist and warning not to let it happen again.

What medical evidence is there that the child's coughing is a direct result of the current situation?

What medical evidence is there that the child is, as is being implied, malnourished?

[Dee Justice]

Under thir MSA the former spouse is obligated to have the ex's family kept in contact with child.

Ex had to take the job he has now because of the outrageous alimony and child support that is paid to former spouse. Former spouse and Ex both left PA and moved to their new states. Child wanted to get former spouse to move to ex's state before they all left PA.

Have documentation that was from the Navy that former spouse is guilty of adult maltratment of EX.

Have all phone bills, and documents of prevented communication.

Should lawyer have been filing contempt charges for Ex? Missed at least 2 visiatations since lawyer was hired.

Lawyer getting records from ER visit where child was seen for a cut. During next visitation ex plans to take child to Dr. for complete physical. Just have teachers concerns and school counselors concerns to go on.

Major problem was not knowing where to file contempt charges on our own PA or SC, but got lawyer and felt like we would be covered from that point on, now second guessing a bit.

[Dogmatique]

A cut? Kids cut themselves all the time.

I'm going to be brutally honest.

Nothing you've said so far comes anywhere close to justifying a complete change in physical and legal custody.

If there was a genuine concern on the part of the school counselors, the counselors would have immediately involved CPS - they are mandated reporters with a legal obligation to get the authorities involved.

Attorney should indeed be filing for contempt each and every time the CP withholds the court-ordered visitation.

I am surprised that the CP is court-ordered to ensure kiddo has contact with NCP's family - this is actually bordering on being unconstitutional. CP has every right to determine who does or doesn't contact the child during CP's parenting time.

The NCP's family would be expected, normally, to have contact with the child during NCP's time.

Now, NCP is in SC, correct?

Where is CP and child?

One more question.

How many times has NCP gone to the meeting point or driven the whole way, and been refused visitation?


What do the current orders say - word for word - about transportation and actual visitation?