Changing a Minor's Last Name when the Father is Unknown

[Dogmatique]

The comments other users are posting to you are completely unnecessary and out of line. Not to mention uncalled for! I personally look up to you and think you are an amazing man.

That's nice and fluffy, but you are on LEGAL BOARD. Not a huggy-kissy-you're-so-special board.

Obviously these people have never been in a situation where you love a child that is not your own. It is a very unselfish act of which very few people can do themselves and understand

I'm stepparent, sweetheart.

! How can people say that A having her FATHERS last name can be detrimental to her in anyway?

Because he's NOT HER FATHER.

This is about LEGALITIES.

Do you think it would be better if she is with a mother who obviously doesn't care as much about her? And is it better that she knows her mother conceived her the way she did!? NO. I am not a psychiatrist but I can tell you NO NO NO that would in no way be a batter situation! Common sense!

Overuse of exclamation points doesn't make your nonsense any less nonsensical.

It is sad no one here can look past the unfortunate past that has led you to the situation which you are actually asking help for! I would say you should definitely get a family law attorney, and arrange with her mother that you must legally adopt her (I would go for full custody), in order to have the rights you need to get her through life, and so that she can share your last name.

You're clueless. Completely clueless.

There are going to be situations where just because she shares your name isn't going to be enough, in school and legal situations, and maybe even health care? (I'm sure you have already dealt with that, but I do wonder how that is working?)

I wish you and your daughter the best in this situation! God Bless you!

Unless you have something of any relevance to post you're not going to last too long here.

[mamabear2102003]

And Dog's post says it all.

Just an FYI, several of my children were adopted by my husband. We have two special needs children. Our situation was different in that my children's father was deceased, and there was NO other family from his side that gave a damn.

Yes, there are some wonderful ppl in this world ready to do whatever it takes, but that doesn't change the legalities that we must abide by, nor does it change the emotional aspects that may come down the road. And BTW, having full custody does NOT give you the right to change a child's last name, and changing a last name doesn't change the parentage on a BC or give a non parent the same rights as a parent.

[PandorasBox]

I think you are doing something amazing.

But...down the road, a father needs to be established. Atleast a name. She also needs to know medical history on both parents sides. Seems like both parents have drug problems. What else - does cancer run in one family? Heart problems....that is stuff that she and her physician need to know.

Even when she learns you are not her legal dad....she is going to have questions in the future.

You do need an attorney for this entire situation. Mom sounds unstable and like she can take A from you at any time. Also, as A's birth father is in a gang, you will want a lawyer to deal with that.

[Rayette]

The comments other users are posting to you are completely unnecessary and out of line. Not to mention uncalled for! I personally look up to you and think you are an amazing man.
Obviously these people have never been in a situation where you love a child that is not your own. It is a very unselfish act of which very few people can do themselves and understand! How can people say that A having her FATHERS last name can be detrimental to her in anyway? Do you think it would be better if she is with a mother who obviously doesn't care as much about her? And is it better that she knows her mother conceived her the way she did!? NO. I am not a psychiatrist but I can tell you NO NO NO that would in no way be a batter situation! Common sense!
It is sad no one here can look past the unfortunate past that has led you to the situation which you are actually asking help for! I would say you should definitely get a family law attorney, and arrange with her mother that you must legally adopt her (I would go for full custody), in order to have the rights you need to get her through life, and so that she can share your last name. There are going to be situations where just because she shares your name isn't going to be enough, in school and legal situations, and maybe even health care? (I'm sure you have already dealt with that, but I do wonder how that is working?)

I wish you and your daughter the best in this situation! God Bless you!

I agree with everything arnmama said!! Said very nicely!!

[Dogmatique]

Gee, that wouldn't be because you're the same person now would it?

Of course not.

Wait. What other reason would there be for dragging up a dead thread? Hmmmm.