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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jun 2010
    Posts
    6

    Default I'm 16 and He's 25

    I live in california,

    I'm 16 years old and hes 25 years old and we have been dating for 13 months i love him so much and he means everything to me. Here is my question:

    I live under my mom and both my parents are split up and my dad lives in another county. My mom does not want the dating and we stopped the relationship, but since he has been apart of my life and my moms side she is allowing us to just be friends.

    My dad on the other hand doesn't want me to have contact with him or see him. my dad has never meet him or now him like my mom does. Hes telling me if I don't stop seeing him he will turn him into the police.

    Can my ex-boyfriend(25 year old) get in trouble for just being my friend if the mom says its ok but the dad says no? I don;t want to just give him up hes very close to me and i don't think its fare.

    Hes just worried that he will get in trouble for stuff that we have never done.. like sex and other stuff... my dad is never around and had no prof on anything doesn't there have to be prof?

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
    Location
    Massachusetts
    Posts
    24,213

    Default Re: Im 16 and Hes 25 Need

    I know before I say it that you will not believe me but I'm getting used to banging my head against the wall so here goes:

    There are only two reasons a 25 year old would be hanging around with a 16 year old. One of them is that there is something very seriously wrong with him emotionally and developmentally; the other is that he's biding his time until he can have sex with you.

    In either case you are under the care, custody and control of your parents. If mom says yes, just friends and dad says no, not at all, that's something the two of them will have to decide. But there are NO circumstances under which the law is going to force your parent/parents to allow you to see, talk to, or have any contact whatsoever with someone they do not want you to see, talk to or contact. And when I say that, I mean the law will permit your dad to block ALL contact, including messages left on Facebook or Myspace, IMing, notes passed between friends, carrier pigeons, smoke signals, singing telegrams, or ASL. If Dad says no, then unless Mom can convince him of otherwise it's NO.

    And if Dad says no and he contacts you anyway OR EVEN IF YOU CONTACT HIM, then YES, he can get into trouble with the law. Regardless of whether you're doing anything sexual or not.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Location
    Somewhere near Canada
    Posts
    35,894

    Default Re: Im 16 and Hes 25 Need

    Even worse is that he's been seeing this child since she was 15....

    ...so, OP? If YOU mean everything to HIM, he'll leave you alone until you're an adult.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Jun 2010
    Posts
    6

    Default Re: Im 16 and Hes 25 Need

    See what I hate is when people say hes only with me for sex will guess what hes been with me for more then a year and he has never asked or forced anything on me, regardless if hes waiting till i'm 18 then guess what i'm free game. And i also hate when people say there something wrong with him or disturbed about him because hes 25 and hanging out with a 16 year old.

    Lets just think for a sec.. not to long ago there were couples getting married when the girl was 14 and the guy was in his 20's.. just ask your grandparents and you will see most of the time there is 10 sometimes even 15 years apart.. like my grandparents are 16 years apart and are 53 years happily still married.

    I'm not arguing that this is law.. i'm just arguing that theres always comments that there something wrong with him.. or in worst cases a pedophile.

    I just want an honest answer as into can he get in trouble if theres no prof and can we still be friends and not have the law up are asses.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Location
    Somewhere near Canada
    Posts
    35,894

    Default Re: Im 16 and Hes 25 Need

    My grandparents - who would be quite obviously quite a bit older than yours - were four years apart.

    Their parents were three years apart.

    THEIR parents were also three years apart.

    And my actual parents?

    Born on the same day. Same year.

    Yes, there is something wrong with a 24 year old who wants to date a 15 year old CHILD. You, my dear, are nowhere near mature enough to contemplate an adult relationship - as your previous post proves.

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Jun 2010
    Posts
    6

    Default Re: Im 16 and Hes 25 Need

    Did I say everyones situation is like that? I was just making a point that its funny how people automatically think worse case when you really don't know the situation. I came to expert law to find info on law not peoples opinion on something they probably will never understand.

    So again i'm asking is there anything my dad can do if we are just friends? will his case even stand in court if we are 1. not dating 2. just friends and 3. mother who i live with says its ok.

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Location
    Somewhere near Canada
    Posts
    35,894

    Default Re: Im 16 and Hes 25 Need

    Yes, your Dad can go to court and request a restraining order which frankly would likely be granted.

    Since you asked.

    Do you SERIOUSLY think that we don't understand?

    We've all been hormonal teenagers, sweetypie.

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Jun 2010
    Posts
    6

    Default Re: Im 16 and Hes 25 Need

    So my dad that I don't live with and only see once in while and he don't even pay child support and get a restraining order? when hes in a different county & i'm under my moms and step dads full custody.

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Location
    Somewhere near Canada
    Posts
    35,894

    Default Re: Im 16 and Hes 25 Need

    Yes.

    He can.

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Mar 2007
    Posts
    9,096

    Default Re: Im 16 and Hes 25 Need

    Unca Jeffy has had to get involved a lot lately...

    Princess, there is only one reason that a 25 year old man wants to date a child... so that he can mold you into the "woman" he wants you to be. Sex is part of that, but only part.

    No, you say, your relationship is different. We don't know you, you say...

    Tell ya what... I will bet you $1,000 towards your college education that he has used at least half of these phrases in the last year...

    "You are so mature for your age."
    "Women my age just don't understand me."
    "You understand me so much better than women my age."
    "Age is just a number."
    "Romeo and Juliet were only 14 years old."
    "Fifty years ago, this age difference wouldn't have mattered at all."
    "Your parents are divorced. They don't understand a true love like ours. All they see are our ages."
    "We won't have sex until you are ready. But when you are ready, so am I."
    "I want to be with you my whole life... and I want that life to start right now."

    Before you come back on here and tell us how little we know, ask your Mr. Wonderful the ages of his last three girlfriends... and his age at the time.

    What you will find is a pattern.... once he found an age that his lines worked on, he stayed dating that age. I am guessing around 15 or 16.

    Don't believe me? Ask HIM.

    This is akin to you dating a seven year old child. How much would you two have to talk about? What interests would you have in common?

    I assure you that there is just as much change between 7 and 16 and 16 and 25. Yeah, I know... you really think you are getting close to maturity... but I can tell you that you are not nearly as close as you think.

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