I don't want to come across as obnoxious; I think I'm a reasonable guy. But I'm not convinced that it's appropriate for you to compare your SS situation with mine in this way. I mean, every divorce is different, and there are often other assets and other conditions that affect the settlement. In my reading and research, I've seen a number of patterns that seem to be consistently mentioned. One is that a "typical" SS arrangement lasts for half the length of the marriage. Another is that long-term marriages often involve an even longer term of support--perhaps even lifetime support. So I was surprised to see that your support lasted only six years. Of course, I don't know anything about your particular circumstances.

I also see that in California (since it is a community property state, I guess), spousal support is intended to maintain the receiving spouse at the standard of living that he or she was accustomed to during the marriage. If you were in CA and your support arrangement maintained your standard of living, then I guess it was appropriate--although it looks a bit lopsided to me. But (as I said), I don't know the exact circumstances of your marriage and your divorce, so I don't feel qualified to comment further.

My spouse and I were together for twenty years but did not marry until 2004. For a very long time, before his career took off and he started making a VERY comfortable income, I was the main breadwinner by a big margin. Now I'm at the other extreme. He also acknowledges that I made major life decisions based on certain assurances that he repeatedly made. For various reasons, including these, he agreed to the amount that I mentioned in that other post. Then there was some kind of miscommunication or misunderstanding. We're working it out.

I appreciate your advice and your perspective. But I feel that you don't know enough about my situation to make a fully informed judgment about it.

Thanks for the reminder that he is not technically my ex yet. I'm so used to thinking of him as a partner, and that's what I've always called him. But I can see that incorrectly labeling him as an ex could be misleading or confusing to people who are trying to give me good feedback and advice.

Well, I'll be a single man by the end of the year...and THEN I can call him my ex. And that label will actually be accurate. Finally.