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  1. #1
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    Apr 2010
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    Default Mother Takes Child From Father's Fiancee to Support Modification of Support

    "a fiancée or stepparent can get her rights through the biological parent, and need not be specifically identified (and usually needs not even be mentioned)."

    I am just wondering what rights it might be...can someone please help? As I posted in the past, my husband is being taken back to court for more support. she states that the kids stay with her more often because he works overtime. Untrue. I babysit children for her everyday. I pick them up from school and keep them home till she comes to pick them up. However if is my husbands day and she knows he is at work or home depot, she shows up unexpectedly and take the kids away claiming that if is "his" day they have to be with him and with him only. Sherif department have told me to call them because she have no right to do that since the court order reads the word "BABYSITTER" and because I am the stepmother I am not considered a SITTER under that agreement, but Dogmatique's answer on my posting got me a little confused (I thank you because it was an eye opener, however I am still confused)
    Thanks

  2. #2
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    Apr 2009
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    Default Re: Father Wants Fiance to Be on Custody Agreement

    Quote Quoting queroever
    View Post
    "a fiancée or stepparent can get her rights through the biological parent, and need not be specifically identified (and usually needs not even be mentioned)."

    I am just wondering what rights it might be...can someone please help? As I posted in the past, my husband is being taken back to court for more support. she states that the kids stay with her more often because he works overtime. Untrue. I babysit children for her everyday. I pick them up from school and keep them home till she comes to pick them up. However if is my husbands day and she knows he is at work or home depot, she shows up unexpectedly and take the kids away claiming that if is "his" day they have to be with him and with him only. Sherif department have told me to call them because she have no right to do that since the court order reads the word "BABYSITTER" and because I am the stepmother I am not considered a SITTER under that agreement, but Dogmatique's answer on my posting got me a little confused (I thank you because it was an eye opener, however I am still confused)
    Thanks

    I think the Sheriff's dept is out of line; it is NOT their job to interpret that court order and decide who is or isn't a sitter. If it's vague, Dad needs to get back to court and have it spelled out.

    Mom is wrong in that the kids must ONLY remain in Dad's care, but she does have ROFR (as per your other thread) so yes, technically she can come get 'em if Dad is at work.

    (I remember in your case Mom was being somewhat...difficult, about the whole thing, right? )

  3. #3
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    Apr 2010
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    Default Re: Father Wants Fiance to Be on Custody Agreement

    Can I e-mail you or is it ok to post a long reply on the thread?

  4. #4
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    Apr 2010
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    24

    Default Re: Father Wants Fiance to Be on Custody Agreement

    11) ROFR: Each party shall notify the other party if they require a BABYSITTER during their time with the children. the party not having visitation with the children will have the option of spend this time with them rather than have the children be with a babysitter.

    Mr. Dogmatique,
    Here's the scenario (not sure if is relevant but considering the other postings maybe this gives you a little more of this situation?!):
    Mom left daddy five years ago because she found a better man. The man that was going to be a better father for her daughters (as per her e-mails). Relationship didn't work out. By that time (2 years later) I was in his life. She wanted him back. He didn't go. She got mad at me. I've always respected the lady. Not nice, but respecting her role in our life. She hates me for that because on her own words I am only an hypocrite. She scratched all my car while at the parking lot in my job a couple of years ago. I did a police report. After 3 years dragging the divorce and requesting all kind of non sense things such as supervised visitations only for daddy accusing him of abuse never being able to prove. She got 4 days a week with the children, he got 3. She got $200.00 in child support for two children which infuriated her even more.
    After it was finalized she came to our home a couple of times and got me in the driveway and started arguments. Both times. I politely asked her to stopping making that scene right in front of her 5 yo and to leave my property. The first time she pushed me all the way till I was able to open my front door and get inside my home. I was 5months pregnant at the time. The second time, she knocked on my door after coming to pick up my lil step daughter asking for some shoes. I opened the door to give her the shoes and she started the aggression all over again. I tried to close my door but she was holding it with her feet. Her daughter was behind her “banging” the head in the way and singing out and loud. That broke my heart. The little girl felt, she looked back and I just closed my door in her face at which time she decided to break my sliding door with the shoes. I called the police.
    When my son was born, summer last year, it was the last time I allowed her to come to my home. She falsely called to police to tell them my husband had kidnapped his daughter. After the investigation they came to the conclusion she was lying and nothing was filed. They went back to her house and that was it. From that time on the kids were going to after care.
    Four months ago this circumstance changed again. She moved in with boyfirned and couldn’t make to day care on time. I accept being the caretaker for my stepchildren as long as she keeps her cool. Which have happened so far in a way.
    The problem with RFR is: She uses the 12yo as her eyes and ears in my home. She knows it all. As soon as daddy makes a move, she is here. It doesn’t matter if he goes shopping for car parts or if he have to leave for work. As soon as she knows she comes and grabs them. She takes them out of town, so she have an excuse not to return them to the father.Her parents live 2hrs away that’s where she goes for most of the time. My husband doesn’t wanna put the kids in the middle of a tug of war, by going abruptly to get them. For most of the time.He calls and calls and calls.And when he can’t get a hold of them, he cries. I mean, I think crying won’t help. But he really doesn’t know what to do in the situation and is overwhelmed. When we got married last year she used that to forbid the children from coming around. He had to call the cops to go and have her give him the kids.
    She told the cops: -They don’t wanna see the father, I will not obligate my children to do what they don’t want!” The cop answer was you either do or you go to jail.
    Since that time, the teenager, every time she wants to stay with the mom, she texts to daddy that he cannot obligate her to do anything against her will. I came from a different place where children are not allowed to speak like that to their parents. We obey and that’s it! However if she needs money to go out with friends, she knows where to find daddy and have nothing against coming around.
    The 6 yo is very attached to our home. She have a few issues we’ve been working on. She is neglected in every way and at times I was told she was left alone home. But I just found out after the fact, so not a lot I could do.
    She never “keeps him informed of the whereabouts” we find out most of the facts by the own children AFTER The fact. Also , she works under the table and doesn’t declare that income of course (who would?)
    Fact is:
    We provide clothes and shoes for both houses.
    We take them places we can afford.
    We do not discuss the matter in front of the children ever. In every opportunity she have she runs her mouth on my husband and myself right there in front of the children.
    One example of how she uses them was last weeked. Daddy’s day were Friday, Saturday and Sunday. Mommy told 12yo she would love to take her to a concert but because it was daddy’s day….minor calls the daddy throwing all tantruns. Daddy says if mom really wanna take her, she can. As long as she picks up the kid before the concert and drops her off afterwards. They all agreed to that. Saturday morning the minor receives a message that says” If you really wanna go to the concert with me and your friend. Ask your daddy for $80 dollars.” Daughter replied: but you said you had the tickets! Mom: Well, I have to pay car insurance, and rent. I don’t have any money. If you wanna go, ask your daddy. He have to pay he is your daddy. Daughter nicely replies: Is ok mom, when he takes me places he doesn’t ask you for any money. Just forget it! I will talk to my friend. Mom who doesn’t give up: Well, if you don’t wanna ask him for money for the concert, ask him for $60.00 and I will take you shopping at the mall. ( I just paid from my stepmother’s of no rights pocket over $300.00 in clothes and shoes three weeks ago)..
    Anyhow, the thing is, she manipulates the children and is very heartbreaking. She have a good job. And she does many businesses on the side that I know of because at times, when she needs to work nights, I keep the children or they go with her sister.
    Now, when something doesn’t go her way, she knocks on our door claiming the ROFR. at all other times is fine for the kids to stay with the "evil step mother"...

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