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  1. #1
    Join Date
    May 2010
    Posts
    4

    Default 12 Year Old Refusing Visitation

    Illinois

    My 12 year old daughter and ex-husband are refusing to comply with the visitation order. My ex-husband and I have been divorced now for 10 years. Originally, my daughter lived with me and we have always had joint custody. About 6 years ago, she decided she wanted to live with her father. So, I complied and allowed this to happen because he was in a better financial situation. We live in the same county and visitation has never been a problem until recently. He remarried a women after knowing her 1 week and this women makes plans with my daughter and her friends on my scheduled visitation.

    Now, my daughter is refusing to come to my house after being told that she could not go shopping on my weekend with her father's new wife. Her father called me and told me he wasn't going to make our daughter come to my house. I filed a request with our local court to enforce visitation. My ex-husband then made up a crazy story about me and had a emergency order of protection placed on me for half of the month until I requested a trial and it was thrown out.

    Since then I have learned that he has tried to commit suicide 3 times in the last year. He's been diagnosed as bipolar. He's been convicted of manufacturing and delivery of a illegal substance, dui's, and has had repeated orders of protection filed against him from his ex-girlfriend. He also has been accused of Domestic violence.

    So, I have also filed for a modification of custody. We went in front of the judge and she ordered us to mediation where we both agreed to visitation. Now, he claims that he isn't going to abide by the visitation because our daughter doesn't want to see me, I'm a drug user, and our daughter is afraid of my friends and myself. We are scheduled to go back in front of the judge in a month. I know that my daughter wants to continue to live with her father and she will tell the judge this, but I'm wondering how much the judge will weigh on my daughter's wants and if she will see through my ex-husbands BS. I'm not worried about the drug use claims on my behalf because that can be easily be disproved, but I do worry about his claims of my daughter fearing me. I'm not sure how I can disprove this. I'm a FT student and I can not afford a lawyer at this point. I have tried Prarie State legal services but they will not help in case of custody. I have also raised a wonderful son on my own because his father is incarcerated due to molesting his daughter. My ex-husband thinks by that this justifies not complying with order and constantly throws my son's father situation in my face now.

    I really just need some good advice! I miss my daughter and I'm afraid that this whole situation is damaging our relationship. I've tried to explain to my ex that he needs to encourage her to come see me and that I understand that as a 13 year old she wants to spend more time with her friends. I'm willing to jump through what ever hoops I have to, to prove that I am not the person he's now trying to portray me as.

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