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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jan 2015
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    5

    Default Changing Parenting Days

    My question involves a child custody case from the State of: CA

    Last year, my ex was given parenting time with our daughter every other weekend. There have been approximately 15 scheduled visits since the order, and of those, he has either shown up late, or dropped her off hours early to about ten of them. He has also failed to show up for any of his additional holiday time that he requested - Thanksgiving, Christmas Eve, New Years Eve. He is supposed to pick her up from her daycare when he has his parenting time, however her daycare provider has mentioned to me that she longer wants him to come to her home. He does not work, does not go to school (collects disability, does not pay child support but that is another issue), so I have asked him to change his parenting time from Fri-Sun to Sat-Mon, to which he said no. Our daughter has been attending the same daycare since she was six weeks old (and it is one of the few that I can afford since I pay it myself), so finding her a new daycare isn't an option right now. We have another court date scheduled in a few months to and I plan to ask the judge to make this change. What are my chances of getting his parenting time changed to Sat-Mon?

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Feb 2011
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    Virginia
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    604

    Default Re: Changing Parenting Days

    Quote Quoting lindalou22
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    My question involves a child custody case from the State of: CA

    Last year, my ex was given parenting time with our daughter every other weekend. There have been approximately 15 scheduled visits since the order, and of those, he has either shown up late, or dropped her off hours early to about ten of them. He has also failed to show up for any of his additional holiday time that he requested - Thanksgiving, Christmas Eve, New Years Eve. He is supposed to pick her up from her daycare when he has his parenting time, however her daycare provider has mentioned to me that she longer wants him to come to her home. He does not work, does not go to school (collects disability, does not pay child support but that is another issue), so I have asked him to change his parenting time from Fri-Sun to Sat-Mon, to which he said no. Our daughter has been attending the same daycare since she was six weeks old (and it is one of the few that I can afford since I pay it myself), so finding her a new daycare isn't an option right now. We have another court date scheduled in a few months to and I plan to ask the judge to make this change. What are my chances of getting his parenting time changed to Sat-Mon?
    I think you have some legitimate issues that are worthy of making some kind of provisions to alleviate the issues. However, since it's only six months into a new order, a judge may or may not be hesitant to make a lot of changes, especially if dad promises to do better.

    I think you need to clearly draw the lines between what you are asking for and how that will make things better for your daughter in particular, and not just you. I'm confused why changing to Saturday-Monday is going to solve these issues? Will dad be taking daughter to daycare Monday morning? Why does dad's time need to occur on the weekends anyway, if the child is not in school and dad does not work? What will dad claim as his objection to your proposal?

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Oct 2006
    Posts
    16,474

    Default Re: Changing Parenting Days

    Quote Quoting lindalou22
    View Post
    My question involves a child custody case from the State of: CA

    Last year, my ex was given parenting time with our daughter every other weekend. There have been approximately 15 scheduled visits since the order, and of those, he has either shown up late, or dropped her off hours early to about ten of them. He has also failed to show up for any of his additional holiday time that he requested - Thanksgiving, Christmas Eve, New Years Eve. He is supposed to pick her up from her daycare when he has his parenting time, however her daycare provider has mentioned to me that she longer wants him to come to her home. He does not work, does not go to school (collects disability, does not pay child support but that is another issue), so I have asked him to change his parenting time from Fri-Sun to Sat-Mon, to which he said no. Our daughter has been attending the same daycare since she was six weeks old (and it is one of the few that I can afford since I pay it myself), so finding her a new daycare isn't an option right now. We have another court date scheduled in a few months to and I plan to ask the judge to make this change. What are my chances of getting his parenting time changed to Sat-Mon?
    As the other poster stated, you have to articulate a plan that will resolve a potential problems. If dad is misbehaving with the daycare provider the you have to articulate a plan that will not deprive dad of time, but will eliminate the need for dad to pick up or drop off the child at daycare...and articulate why its important to keep the child with the same daycare provider.

    You have not done that here...and you will have to do that in court. If your argument is that dad can pick up the child from you on Saturday mornings and return the child to you on Monday mornings, eliminating the need for a daycare exchange, then you have to articulate that. You cannot assume that the judge will understand why that makes a difference if you do not explain it.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Jan 2015
    Posts
    5

    Default Re: Changing Parenting Days

    Dad currently picks her up Friday morning from daycare and returns her to me on Sunday evening; my plan is to ask for a change to Saturday morning (pick up with me) and drop off Monday evening (drop off also with me) which would eliminate any future need for him to go to her daycare. Dad's time won't be reduced in any way, there's just a change in which days he has his parenting time. His time is only on the weekends because he lives three hours away, and in the year prior to the order being established, he had only seen her two times, so the judge/mediator had issues with her age (2) and her being with him when she didn't really know him. It's important to keep her at the same daycare because it is the only daycare she has ever attended, the provider has become like a second grandmother to her, and it's the only daycare I can afford.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Oct 2006
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    16,474

    Default Re: Changing Parenting Days

    Quote Quoting lindalou22
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    Dad currently picks her up Friday morning from daycare and returns her to me on Sunday evening; my plan is to ask for a change to Saturday morning (pick up with me) and drop off Monday evening (drop off also with me) which would eliminate any future need for him to go to her daycare. Dad's time won't be reduced in any way, there's just a change in which days he has his parenting time. His time is only on the weekends because he lives three hours away, and in the year prior to the order being established, he had only seen her two times, so the judge/mediator had issues with her age (2) and her being with him when she didn't really know him. It's important to keep her at the same daycare because it is the only daycare she has ever attended, the provider has become like a second grandmother to her, and it's the only daycare I can afford.
    That may not work if dad has to work on Mondays...and of course won't work in a couple of years when she starts school. Of course, the Friday mornings won't work in a couple of years either. What about switching dad's pickup time to your lunch hour so that you could pick up the child from daycare and exchange her with dad in some neutral place?

    What is dad doing that has caused the daycare provider to not want him at her home?

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Jan 2015
    Posts
    5

    Default Re: Changing Parenting Days

    Dad doesn't work; hasn't work since right after we split up (in an effort to avoid paying child support.) The daycare provider does not want him coming to her home because he has put her in the middle of our disagreements, he shows up late (never at his assigned time), disrupts the other children; she pretty much just doesn't want to deal with it anymore.

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Oct 2006
    Posts
    16,474

    Default Re: Changing Parenting Days

    Quote Quoting lindalou22
    View Post
    Dad doesn't work; hasn't work since right after we split up (in an effort to avoid paying child support.) The daycare provider does not want him coming to her home because he has put her in the middle of our disagreements, he shows up late (never at his assigned time), disrupts the other children; she pretty much just doesn't want to deal with it anymore.
    In that case, Saturday to Monday would work, at least until she starts school.

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