My question involves paternity law for the State of: I currently reside in Kansas; Paternity in Kansas, Rhode Island, Michigan.
First, I was married for 10 years to a woman who decided to leave myself and our three children for a man in her home state. I have sole custody of the three children she left behind. She hardly contacts them anymore, and has not been back to visit. There is no question on this issue, just back story.
Second, I was more recently with a woman who was supposed to be incapable of conceiving a child, but wanted one. I knowingly and willingly...helped her conceive. My name is not on the birth certificate. I care about this woman, but circumstances prevented us from being a couple, and indeed I'm not certain our personalities would have worked in a long term relationship. I have been sending her $400 per month for about 3.5 years, unforced in any way. However, it is my understanding she is receiving state assistance in Rhode Island. Which brings me to...
Third, about a year ago, I began a relationship with a girl that I intended to stay with. However, I made it very plain I had no intention toward marriage nor children at that time, while I was willing to consider discussing it in the future. We used several different forms of birth control, avoiding having a child to confuse the older children from my marriage. However, she was somewhat forceful on the child angle, and one day when we had no contraceptives, she was very insistent about intercourse. After resisting, arguing, and her crying, I gave in. I was later bothered enough that we did not again partake for weeks, during which time she did indeed turn up pregnant. After the birth of our child who predictably has my name on the birth certificate, she started exhibiting some very peculiar behavioral changes, becoming very possessive over my time, habits, and spending hours yelling at me about anyone including family that I spent time with, and about wanting to get married. After the yelling came the crying, while I would devote this time to trying to assuage her emotions and calm her down. All of this caused us to finally separate. She filed for child support less than 10 hours later.
About a month ago, she was diagnosed with Bi-Polarism, while my independent studies suggest that Borderline Personality Disorder is a more likely culprit, especially due to her childhood traumas.
My question is this: My resources are not infinite. I provide for my children (the ones from my marriage), and the one I fathered (voluntarily), and now am understandably expected to provide for this new child. Should I report myself as the father of the child in Rhode Island? Or will that harm the financial status of the mother, who has not been employed since before the birth of the child? Does the conception of the newest child count as reproductive abuse, what mitigating role does the mother's mental state play? I am fairly certain I have always given the mother in Rhode Island as much, or more depending on her needs, than would have been "required by law". But no good deed goes unpunished, and so I fathered a child I never intended to make, cold as that sounds. I really have no emotional attachment to my most recent child, only a sense of shame, remorse, and betrayal. Please help with any suggestions you believe to be pertinent.
Personal Note: I have performed significant amounts of research. I know what the more "vocal public opinion" is of "people like me". This is how I feel about me. I love my kids. I do everything I can for them. And I care about my child in Rhode Island. I do not want anything bad to happen to her. I would have lived like this indefinitely. This new female, who thought to "trap" a responsible, respectable, hard working man upsets me so much, I can only think of her child as her child. I only feel sorry for and pity this little one. The mother never even considered the child's welfare when I was around. The child slept in our bed for months, despite my many objections due to her "not wanting to go to another room if **** awoke in the middle of the night" as an example. I do not see myself as a bad person. I see myself as a used person, for the next 18 years.

