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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Apr 2013
    Location
    New York City
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    3

    Default Changing a Child's Last Name From the Father's

    My question involves name change laws in the State of: New York
    My son recently turned 3 and he'll be starting "school" soon. I want to change his last name before they teach him the one on his b.c. His biological father, who signed his birth certificate, is a non-factor in his life. Our relationship ended when I found out I was pregnant. He was very violent, and I was finally tired of the abuse. From what I undertsand he has been in and out of jail for the last 3 years for violating order of protections, and physically abusing his other sons mother(they are still together). His friends tell me he is in jail now.
    My fiance has been raising my son since he was 3 months old. My son calls my fiance dad. We're planning our wedding for July of next year, and intend on changing my sons last name so we can be a 'complete' family. My questions are, is there maybe an informal way of changing my sons name for the time being. As I mentioned before, he is 3, and I dont want him to learn his name is Cole A.. if we plan on changing it to Cole B. in the next year. Also, because my ex is a word i dont want to use on the sight, I know hes going to give us a hard time with changing my sons last name despite the fact he has nothing to do with my son. My son doesnt even know who he is. Are there any suggestions, or advice, to maybe ease the process?

  2. #2

    Default Re: Removing the Biological Fathers Name

    Quote Quoting Andrea_1
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    My fiance has been raising my son since he was 3 months old. My son calls my fiance dad. We're planning our wedding for July of next year, and intend on changing my sons last name so we can be a 'complete' family. My questions are, is there maybe an informal way of changing my sons name for the time being.
    Changing the child's name will mean notifying dad and dad will get an opportunity to challenge the change. And, changing the child's last name will do NOTHING to make you a "complete" family. The child would STILL be a legal stranger to your fiance, until and unless the marriage occurs AND he adopts the child, which dad will also be able to contest. Children are resilient, they can learn new last names. It's only an issue to them if you make it one. But the courts aren't going to allow what you're describing, as it is what's known as a "backdoor" adoption, and is fraudulent. Whether dad is active in the child's life now won't impact the fact that the child has 1/2 of his DNA from dad, and that means dad has rights regarding the name of the child, and can exercise them if he chooses to.

    Sorry, there isn't a simple process. The court isn't going to let a child take on a step-parent's name without an adoption. And an adoption won't even be an option until you've been married for a bit.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Apr 2013
    Location
    New York City
    Posts
    3

    Default Re: Removing the Biological Fathers Name

    Ok. Yea, I've been reading a few of the other posts and I think I understand. Thank you for the insight.

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