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  1. #1
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    Default Re: Fiance is Relocating to Different State for New Job.now What

    Yes, my fiance is willing to adopt my daughter.

    I left out one other aspect. My ex has a felony on his record for domestic violence against me. About 2 months ago, he became physical with my fiance. The police have since submitted a charge for misdemeanor battery against him and we are in the process of getting a TPO for my fiance as well (I already have a TPO in effect against my ex).

  2. #2
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    Default Re: Fiance is Relocating to Different State for New Job.now What

    You can read here:

    http://apps.americanbar.org/family/m.../june06dvl.pdf

    (It's still accurate for Nevada - if anything, since the article was written Nevada has become even more move-away unfriendly)

    - - - Updated - - -

    Quote Quoting kathy1981
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    Yes, my fiance is willing to adopt my daughter.

    I left out one other aspect. My ex has a felony on his record for domestic violence against me. About 2 months ago, he became physical with my fiance. The police have since submitted a charge for misdemeanor battery against him and we are in the process of getting a TPO for my fiance as well (I already have a TPO in effect against my ex).

    This doesn't help your case.

    And a stepparent adoption will NOT happen if Dad doesn't agree.

  3. #3
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    Dec 2008
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    Default Re: Fiance is Relocating to Different State for New Job.now What

    Quote Quoting kathy1981
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    Yes, my fiance is willing to adopt my daughter.

    I left out one other aspect. My ex has a felony on his record for domestic violence against me. About 2 months ago, he became physical with my fiance. The police have since submitted a charge for misdemeanor battery against him and we are in the process of getting a TPO for my fiance as well (I already have a TPO in effect against my ex).

    I would look into adoption. He may accept it, if it relieves him of child support. You never know how people will react, when there's an incentive for saving money. The fact that he has been violent is all the more reason to move.

  4. #4
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    Default Re: Fiance is Relocating to Different State for New Job.now What

    Try, 8 weeks in the summer, alternate spring/fall break, and alternating Christmas and Thanksgiving each year. Offer a VERY generous parenting plan including perhaps Skype and telephone contact.

    Be specific.

    If you want to try and convince Dad to go along with a stepparent adoption, get married and stay married for awhile - the court wants to see stability. But this won't even enter the equation at this point, since you're merely discussing relocation.

    Then there are questions you and your new husband will want to discuss:

    If you divorce, would you be okay with HIM getting custody and you paying child support?

    Would he be okay paying child support for a child not biologically his?

  5. #5
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    Mar 2013
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    Default Re: Fiance is Relocating to Different State for New Job.now What

    Quote Quoting Dogmatique
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    Try, 8 weeks in the summer, alternate spring/fall break, and alternating Christmas and Thanksgiving each year. Offer a VERY generous parenting plan including perhaps Skype and telephone contact.

    Be specific.

    If you want to try and convince Dad to go along with a stepparent adoption, get married and stay married for awhile - the court wants to see stability. But this won't even enter the equation at this point, since you're merely discussing relocation.

    Then there are questions you and your new husband will want to discuss:

    If you divorce, would you be okay with HIM getting custody and you paying child support?

    Would he be okay paying child support for a child not biologically his?
    He cannot financially afford to care for a child for an 8 week period. As soon as I get his wages garnished for child support, insurance, garnishment for attorney fees, and garnishment for arrearages in child support, he will be about $500 in the negative each month. He won't be able to afford to put our child in daycare while he works...it just won't be possible. Also, with a continued history of domestic violence, his past history of being abused as a child, I don't see how the courts would agree that that would be in the best interest of our daughter.

    Also, my fiance and I discussed the divorce aspect. He said in the event of a divorce, he would not try to gain custodial rights over my daughter. If we had a child, he would pay child support for both kids as he has taken on the responsibility of my daughter if he does legally adopt her.

  6. #6
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    Default Re: Fiance is Relocating to Different State for New Job.now What

    And please read the actual statutes involved.

    Visitation has already been decided, so Dad's past is no longer an issue.

    - - - Updated - - -

    Quote Quoting kathy1981
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    He cannot financially afford to care for a child for an 8 week period. As soon as I get his wages garnished for child support, insurance, garnishment for attorney fees, and garnishment for arrearages in child support, he will be about $500 in the negative each month. He won't be able to afford to put our child in daycare while he works...it just won't be possible. Also, with a continued history of domestic violence, his past history of being abused as a child, I don't see how the courts would agree that that would be in the best interest of our daughter.

    Also, my fiance and I discussed the divorce aspect. He said in the event of a divorce, he would not try to gain custodial rights over my daughter. If we had a child, he would pay child support for both kids as he has taken on the responsibility of my daughter if he does legally adopt her.

    You're not reading what you want to read, and I get that.

    But you're actually making Dad's case FOR him.

  7. #7
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    Mar 2013
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    Default Re: Fiance is Relocating to Different State for New Job.now What

    Quote Quoting Dogmatique
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    And please read the actual statutes involved.

    Visitation has already been decided, so Dad's past is no longer an issue.

    - - - Updated - - -




    You're not reading what you want to read, and I get that.

    But you're actually making Dad's case FOR him.
    I have read it. It also says "after an evidentiary hearing and finding by clear and convincing evidence that either parent or any other person seeking custody of a child has engaged in one or more acts of domestic violence against the child, a parent of the child or any other person residing with the child creates a rebuttable presumption that sole or joint custody of the child by the perpetrator of the domestic violence is not in the best interest of the child."

    2 months ago, the police submitted an charge against my ex for misdemeanor battery with my fiance being the victim. My fiance lives with me, and that qualifies as domestic violence against "any other person residing with the child". Las Vegas is hugely backlogged with cases and the detective said it wouldn't be until probably April before the charge gets to the DA's office so we are still waiting for it to hit the books.

    I will definitely be talking with a lawyer. I just really want to have some sort of background information for when I have this discussion.

  8. #8
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    Default Re: Fiance is Relocating to Different State for New Job.now What

    Custody has already been decided, kathy.

    You're now talking about a modification.

    Read here:

    http://www.thelunalawfirm.com/2010/1...luna-law-firm/

  9. #9
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    Dec 2008
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    Calif
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    Default Re: Fiance is Relocating to Different State for New Job.now What

    He has no job, hasn't make child support payments. Adoption would be an incentive for your ex to end child support payments and end his debts. A lawyer could make the case to your ex. Let your lawyer bring it up. If you do bring it up, you'll get an emotional reaction against you personally.

  10. #10
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    Mar 2013
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    Default Re: Fiance is Relocating to Different State for New Job.now What

    Quote Quoting johnb123
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    I would look into adoption. He may accept it, if it relieves him of child support. You never know how people will react, when there's an incentive for saving money. The fact that he has been violent is all the more reason to move.
    Agreed. Our move would relieve stress of of my life and my child's. As of right now, we had to have the judge order my ex to stay in his vehicle at a minimum of 20 yards and have our daughter walk to is vehicle. This is because my ex consistently has harassed myself and my fiance as well as been physical with my fiance. This has all been in front of our daughter. Our move would eliminate our daughter from being exposed to this.

    As for compelling evidence. If I don't have a job, and my only support is my fiances (soon to be husband's) income, then what am I to do? When we have our own child, that child becomes my daughters family. Would it be fair to keep her away from her brother/sister because I can't move out of state? Neither my ex-husband, me, or my fiance have family in Nevada. My move would put me within 2 hours drive of my parents as well as my fiances parents.

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