You will have to show up for court and make your case. It would probably be wise to have an attorney.
You will have to show up for court and make your case. It would probably be wise to have an attorney.
No because you can't file charges. The DA or county attorney does that. You could file a report I guess but I doubt it would get very far. Just go dispute the restraining order. And the make sure you try to avoid her at all costs.
A restraining order isn't a criminal charge - but it could show up in a background check. If you didn't do anything then show up to court and explain to the judge why you shouldn't have one placed on you.
Way to stereotype strippers too by the way. Some people that's their only option at the time to provide for their children. Some do it for fun. It doesn't matter why someone is a stripper - you had no issue paying them for their job did you?
How many strippers did you acquaint yourself with back in the day to be able to generalize them all?
Like I already stated, yes, once upon a time, when I was single and before my daughter was born, I hung out in such places. I was a regular customer of a particular dancer. I paid her to do a job, and to be honest, we had a good thing going. There was a bit of a disagreement there at the end. She thought that I owed it to her to contact her if I wasn't going to be able be there on a particular weekend, and I disagreed. It wasn't long after that I could no longer come to the club where she worked. Now, this is me speculating here, I think that her anger towards me stems from the fact that I stopped coming there. The simple truth is, me no longer coming there had ZERO to do with her. Fast forward to four years later. That is when I see her at that restaurant working. I said NOTHING to her. Me eating there had NOTHING to do with her. It was a place where I had eaten before. I had NO idea that she was working there. Her version was that I had prior knowledge that she worked there, and had come there simply to screw with her. The thing is, I was sitting there eating! I had already been served by a waiter. She didn't even have my table. Yet, she stopped working and went home right then and there, despite her manager reassuring her that there would be no problems. She literally could not be in the same building as me. So, basically, this girl was mad at me for not contacting her when I wasn't going to be at one place, then she was mad at me for showing up at another. Three years later, I ran into her again when I went to a store in a big shopping center to go and pick my my daughter's ballet costume. She approached me. She even said as much. She says that she only approached me to see if that was me to see if she needed to go the other way. My question was why didn't she just go the other way? Why did she need to get verification that that was me? She sure didn't look "terrified" and "in mortal fear" when she was standing there looking at me with a blank expression. So, two chance meetings over a seven year period somehow resulted in her getting a restraining order against me.
Believe it or not, this is very typical of ex-strippers. Not all of them are like this. But, a lot of them are. A lot of them are paranoid. A lot of them miss the life and the attention they used to get. A lot of them will claim that they are being stalked by their former customers. Especially their former regular customers. Again, not all of them are like that. Perhaps the one of whom I was once a customer had something bad happen to her. Having been in that business seems to have done a number on her. I hate that for her. Personally, I wish her nothing but the best in her life after dancing. I just wish she wouldn't drag my name through the mud. I am not the person I was years ago. I have a daughter now. If this is going to show up in a background check, then it is worth whatever money I need to spend to have it vacated. I really am not interested in having her charged with anything. I would just like for the RO to be nixed, if it is possible.
Can you blame them? Given what they used to do and what some of their clientele were like, they have earned a little paranoia. They have lots of options when they are in the club working but once they are on the street, it is just them.
This could very well show up in a background check, depending on the field of work and the type of check done, even if it's not a criminal order. You need an attorney to help you deal with this. Your passion, for lack of a better word, in this thread would indicate you would not do well in court.
You're damn right I'm passionate. I'm a father now. I want to set a good example for my child. So, naturally, I want to try and get this RO vacated. Now, of course, my daughter won't ever find out, but still. It's the principle. I just don't see the point in her doing this. We live in the same city. What am I supposed to do? Call ahead to every place that I go and see if she is there? I have NEVER bothered this girl. Heck, I don't have time to go stalk and terrorize someone! I can understand ex-strippers being paranoid. But, not EVERY former customer of theirs is out to get them. Not to mention, once a certain amount of time goes by, people forget them. Any dude that is going to stalk a dancer is more likely to go after a current one anyway. Answer me this, if you don't mind. If you were "terrified" and "in mortal fear" of someone, and you thought that you spotted them, would you then walk up to them so as to verify that that was in fact them? Or would you continue on your way?
Again you say "a lot" so you must have acquainted with "a lot." I still think you're generalizing.
It costs you no money to show up to the court hearing and dispute it. You just show up. If you don't show up, she may get it approved. It's up to the judge taking in both your accounts if you show up.
Well we don't have her side of the story on the "disagreement" and only have your side so maybe the disagreement was more than you thought. Perception is reality...
The argument got a little heated, sure. I recall saying that I did not owe it to her to contact her if I wasn't going to be at the club on a particular night. I didn't express it in the best way. I was drunk off my rear end. But, that's no excuse. I just don't see how an argument in late 2009 leads to her being "in mortal fear" in 2017. But, I'll go to court and dispute it and see how it pans out.
Why did you say hi to her when you accidentally saw her in the parking lot? And when she looked at you "piercingly" why did you then ask her if she was all right?
Personally, if I had a huge fight with someone and then several years later pressed that someone to converse with me in a parking lot, after said someone had let me know several times that she absolutely did not want to have any conversations with me, I would not have been surprised to have a restraining order put on me.
Just sayin'
What false allegations? She said stuff to you - she is legally allowed to say whatever she wants to you! If she'd said them to the police, or your friends, or your employer...then you might have a case...but she said them to you, and only you. (Yes, I know you want to use what she said to you and only you as something to negate her RO, but that won't work.)
Wait. So...you think that me running into her TWICE over the course of a seven and a half year period constitutes stalking?? That doesn't make any sense. As to why I said "hi" and asked her if she was "doing alright" well, it was an awkward situation. I may not have explained that very well. I was at MY car, hanging up my daughter's ballet costume on the hook just inside the back door. I look up and there SHE is. Looking at me with a blank expression on her face. So, I just said "hi". That's whe she glared. To be honest, that made me a little nervous. So, I said "you been doing alright?". I really just wanted to get out of there. In retrospect, I probably just played right into her hands. Instead of just getting into my car and driving away, I stood there and watched her have a meltdown. See, she approached me and accused me of stalking her. This is a personal issue she has with me. I made her mad years ago when I was her client. And, yes, she HAS said those things to the police and to friends of mine. Trust me, she has said a lot to a lot of people. Where the hell did you get that she had only said those things to me?? I really don't get why you are posting this crap. And also, I never said that we had a "huge fight". She is the one who said that. I said we had an argument. There is a difference. Look, I just don't want a criminal record. If this won't cause me to have a record, then I'll just leave it be. I'm not worried about violating the RO. Like I have already stated, her and I have seen each other TWICE since late 2009. So, what does that average out to? I'm no mathematician, but that's like once every 3 and a half to 4 years. So, the odds of yet another chance encounter are VERY low. Dude, my child comes first in my life now. Not some ex-stripper who I was once a customer of. This crazy girl is flattering herself. But, what do you expect from someone who once stripped for a living?