My question involves a child custody case from the State of: California
First of a little basics. My son is 3 years old, his mother and I currently have a 50/50 joint/physical custody where I get my son every tuesday 5-8pm and every 1st 3rd and 5th weekend from saturday 9pm to sunday 6pm. My issue is that I have my son from usually Tuessday morning and lasting a whole week until she takes him for 1-2 days. She has left him for over a month with me while she has gone out of state, and on several other occassions to go out of state for 1-2 weeks.
Today she contacted me asking me if I can keep my son for awhile, which she didn't know how long because she is going to have to move out of state for awhile with her dad. Her boyfriend broke up with her and they were living together, and apparently she has no other place to go. She also said she doesn't want ourson around the stress of it all.
So my question is since I have had him most of the time for the past 6 months anyways, and now that she is saying she wants me to keep him for awhile. Do I have enough means to get him to officially live with me. I'm paying child support and she never has him, whereas I would like to use that money to get him into preschool. I'm not saying I want to take him out of her life completely, but if he is here most of the time anyways, I would like to get him into a routine around my work with him in preschool that way I don't have to go day by day worrying if I have someone to watch him.
How to Take My Son Full Time
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04-08-2010, 04:24 PMPatrickjt03How to Take My Son Full Time
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04-09-2010, 06:31 AMNdK1009Re: Enough to Take My Son Full Time
If you can document that you have your son a majority of the time, then it shouldn't be too difficult to persuade a judge. As long as you can show that in addition to having primary custody, you'll also provide a more stable home. Another way to approach this, however, is to talk with you ex and see if she would be willing to consent to the change.
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04-09-2010, 09:46 AM525601minutesRe: How to Take My Son Full Time
Any changes in custody have to go thru the mediation system before a judge can hear the case.
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04-09-2010, 12:15 PMPatrickjt03Re: How to Take My Son Full Time
I recently went to the courthouse and got some of the forms. But I'm not sure if this is the right route. The forms were for modification of support/custody and also a stipulation and order for for custody and visititation that she might agree on.
I've had some advice from friends and one of them is saying I should look into getting temporary custody of my son. The first thing they said was to get it notarized if she would agree on allowing me to have temporary custody while she was gone. Is this possible? if so what all should it say on it and what would I do with it in terms of getting it in my case.
Secondly if she does not agree to this, is there something I can file with the courts to allow temporary custody?? Say she stays out of town, but it is in contact with me to talk to our son every now and then but does not say when she is coming back.
Thirdly I heard something about an emergency order. What happens if I have no contact with her for a couple of weeks? Is there something I can file for this. -
04-09-2010, 03:58 PM525601minutesRe: How to Take My Son Full Time
Is the custody agreement that you mentioned in your original post in a Court Order?
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04-09-2010, 04:24 PMPatrickjt03Re: How to Take My Son Full Timeyes it is a court orderQuote:
Quoting 525601minutes
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04-09-2010, 04:53 PM525601minutesRe: How to Take My Son Full Time
Then regardless of you and the mom agree upon, notarized or not, you'll be violating that order by changing the custody situation of the child without the Court's permission.
If you don't have the resources to have a lawyer write up and file a modification of the current order you should go to the Family Law Facilitator's office and have them help you fill out the correct forms. I think it is the FL-305 that requests a temporary change in custody if the mom does not want to do anything long term. -
04-16-2010, 07:48 PMPatrickjt03Re: How to Take My Son Full Time
I have all my paperworked ready but I have one last problem
what do I do to serve if I am unsure of her where she lives
I have a few addresses I've found on the internet of her dad's house but nothing for sure and I can't get ahold of anyone there..
my reasoning for thinking that she is not at her dad's address like she said she was is because the situation seems really fishy. A few months back when she left out of state she had said it was to Kansas with her boyfriend, because he got in trouble with the police. Well they came back and I'm pretty sure he never went to jail or anything for it. So her reasoning for moving to her dads was because they broke up and she no longer has a place to live. The last time I heard from her was when she called me from her ex's number and she said she was almost to Arizona, but he was with her supposevely helping her move. I'm just thinking that she is maybe running away with him. (To make a long story short, he got a dui and ran from the police then, doesnt have a car, and she drives a small car, so him helping her move seems strange.) If this does turn out to be the case and I can't find where she is to get her served.. then what are my options ?? -
04-16-2010, 08:41 PMDogmatiqueRe: How to Take My Son Full TimeQuote:
Quoting Patrickjt03
Are you absolutely certain that you can't think of another reason she'd move back to Dad's, other than she broke up with her boyfriend?
Because I sure as heck can.
Quote:
The last time I heard from her was when she called me from her ex's number and she said she was almost to Arizona, but he was with her supposevely helping her move. I'm just thinking that she is maybe running away with him. (To make a long story short, he got a dui and ran from the police then, doesnt have a car, and she drives a small car, so him helping her move seems strange.) If this does turn out to be the case and I can't find where she is to get her served.. then what are my options ??
You can use her last known address for service. Failing that, you'd need to do service by publication and that generally REQUIRES an attorney.
Seriously - and I know you asked these questions on another forum - the bottom line remains, that you need an attorney. -
04-17-2010, 10:22 AMPatrickjt03Re: How to Take My Son Full Time--Quote:
Quoting Patrickjt03
She was living with her boyfriend, apart from not having a place to live, what other reason can you think of?? The mother and I don't have some kind of open relationship where we talk about everything. How is it relevent.. if she moves back to dad's regardless of the reason, that'd be great that I know her address so she can be served..
not everyone can afford an attorney, I've had one in the past and in most cases I found that I'm paying for things that I can general do myself without wasting thousands of dollars. I'm posting here because I'm getting more help here, and even you saying I can do a publication is more than I got on the other thread. so if you're trying to knock me getting help.. please stop, its a serious issue and just because someone doesn't have all the knowledge in the matter as you, don't just expect that someone knows it allQuote:
Quoting Patrickjt03
So please back on topic
what exactly is service of publication? is it serving her via newspaper or some other public form, how long would this generally take?
Another update, I found out her dad's number, and called.. He said that he heard from her a week ago but doesn't have a number. She isn't staying there and last he saw her was with her boyfriend.
What happens when you serve the last known address? It's her mothers address, does it have to be delivered to her personally as well? Sorry I'm just trying to get an understanding of this