Broke Up and Mother Refuses to Work Out Custody
I recently (less then a week) got dumped by my gf. I'm in Florida and she's in Georgia. I have the child here with me and he's 16months of age. We broke up on great terms. I mean GREAT. Recently I found out while she's up there that someone's been telling her and manipulating her into hating me, being irrational with me, and now I feel they have her trying to take my son and I heard this from her own family, but I cannot name them as resources later on because I told them it's confident. She's not being herself and she brick-walls any attempt to fix or handle things or she hangs up. She hung up when I spoke about handling custody of our son and wouldn't agree to not seeing him but every other month. I love him too much and plan to fight for her to move back down to her father's here in Florida so we can do a bi-weekly custody. They just moved to a bigger house in GA and have yet to get me a contact number so I keep calling the old number. I can't get a hold of any of them and she has yet to call me and I keep hearing that she's with another guy who's talking her into doing it and that I believe is saying things to scare her into believing that I'll take him. I want it fair for our child and both parties. Now I hear things like she might be planning to not call and just to come get him and leave. I want to work this out in a civil manner because we both love him and it's not fair to him to be drug through this. She's supposed to show up on my birthday for her stuff and our child (April 10th).
Questions:
Did her leaving the state constitute as abandonment?
Does possession of the child mean I have him until other legal arrangements are made and can I keep him here so she doesn't run off with my son to god knows where?
What are some things I can do about all of this?
What does temporary residential custody do and what does it take to get it?
Any info would be great.. Thanks!
Re: Broke Up and She Refuses to Work Out Custody
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Did her leaving the state constitute as abandonment?
in itself, no
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Does possession of the child mean I have him until other legal arrangements are made and can I keep him here so she doesn't run off with my son to god knows where?
no
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What are some things I can do about all of this?
go to court for an order of custody and visitation
W
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hat does temporary residential custody do and what does it take to get it?
it gives one party temporary residential custody until the courts can make a permanent order. File for temp custody when you file for the permanent stuff.
Curious: has paternity ever been legally established? If not, all this is moot and it is her child only until such time paternity is established.
Re: Broke Up and She Refuses to Work Out Custody
So she can just come take him from my hands but I can't take him right back? I don't get why I should have to let my son go back with her to that life of scum she calls her family.
I plan to talk to a lawyer tomorrow, but I'm not sure what to do while she's gone.
I don't get how I could prove paternity. I'm his father we both know it and I was there at the hospital when he was born and I've put a roof over his head and food in his mouth. How can she be proven he's hers and I can't?
I don't plan to release my child to her until she decides to rationally sit down and work out a custody plan with me. A legal one drawn from a lawyer.
What are some things I have to do to do this?
What does it take to call it child abandonment?
What other laws might I use to help me out.
I love my son dearly and she's being manipulated into taking him from me. I'm just totally blown away by all this and the fact that you're saying I can't do anything if she comes. No offense to you of course. I'm just extremely scared and hurt. This isn't a family dog or gravy boat.. This is MY SON.
I NEED TO ACT FAST AND I NEED A PLAN OF SOME SORT OR I RISK LOSING HIM.
Re: Broke Up and She Refuses to Work Out Custody
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I don't get how I could prove paternity. I'm his father we both know it and I was there at the hospital when he was born and I've put a roof over his head and food in his mouth. How can she be proven he's hers and I can't?
You're kidding, right? A child that came from her body and you question the child being hers?
Did you sign an affidavit of paternity and is your name on the birth certificate?
If not and if you have not been legally established to be the father via a paternity test, you have no rights to the child until such time it is proven. You will have to file for a paternity test (DNA) with the courts. Until that time, the child is hers and hers alone.
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I don't plan to release my child to her until she decides to rationally sit down and work out a custody plan with me.
Not real smart if you are not the legally accepted father (as in one of the methods noted above). That would be called kidnapping and could result with your spending some time away from not only your child but everybody.
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What does it take to call it child abandonment?
generally no contact or effort to provide any support for greater than a year.
then prove it.
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I NEED TO ACT FAST AND I NEED A PLAN OF SOME SORT OR I RISK LOSING HIM.
If you are going to need a DNA test, it will not be fast enough to prevent mom from taking her child in April. It just isn't possible to be completed that fast.
Re: Broke Up and She Refuses to Work Out Custody
This hurts bad, man. This guy's gonna take my kid away. She's in an emotional state right now to see what he's doing. It's not his. This isn't right at all.
Say I got the DNA testing willingly instead of through the court and presented that and bought some extra time to get results back (products offering 3-5 business day for the time it arrives and I can overnight it via UPS or FedEx). Then what?
Re: Broke Up and She Refuses to Work Out Custody
Then nothing. They're not court approved. You NEED to do it through the courts. Truthfully, this all should have been done right when the child was born, to ensure legal recognition of your parental rights.
Right now, you don't have ANY, and you won't until the court recognizes you as the legal father.
Re: Broke Up and She Refuses to Work Out Custody
This is really BS.. that family is messed up.. I don't want my son anywhere near them. I plan to call vital statistics today to ask if I'm on it before I order a copy.. and a lawyer.
What can I do with a lawyer before she comes and tries to get him? Can I get a court ordered DNA test if vital statistics does not come through without her there?
I'm trying my hardest.. This isn't the girl I feel in love with and started a family with.. I didn't expect that someone would try to push us apart and then try for my son.
If you were me.. what would you do to act as quickly as possible? what list should I be following as of where I stand right now?
Re: Broke Up and She Refuses to Work Out Custody
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If you were me.. what would you do to act as quickly as possible?
You're not listening to us, are you?
Look, I get that you're distressed and unhappy and scared that you're going to lose your son. I totally get it.
But there's just no way for you to "move quickly" now. All you can do is get an attorney, file to establish legal paternity, then, when paternity is legally established, file for visitation and/or custody.
You're now stuck moving at the pace of the courts, and there's nothing to do to speed things up.
Most attorneys offices open in about an hour. I suggest you crack open the phone book, make a list of likely candidates, and start making phone calls promptly at 9.
Re: Broke Up and She Refuses to Work Out Custody
I'm going to vital statistics here soon. If I establish that I'm on the birth certificate which proves I'm the father at that point what leeway do I have? If we can both prove we are parents and I have him currently won't the police just say there's nothing they can do and she has to wait until a court date or settlement out of court? Once I have proof I'm his legal father then if she can take him from me.. I can do that same.. correct? I mean what's she gonna say? I kidnapped him? I've stayed in the same house as always. She's the one trying to leave the state with him. She's not even a resident of GA yet and from what I've read she cannot even file custody there until she takes steps to do so. She doesn't have a license or voter registration and she doesn't even have mail going there.. We're both proven parents and I have him right now.. There's no reason they should be able to allow her to take him without my permission as well and if so.. I should be able to reach over and get him back. What's the difference if I can provide proof?
I have a lawyer I'm going to try to speak with today and I plan to make other calls as well to be certain to find the right one.
Re: Broke Up and She Refuses to Work Out Custody
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Quoting
FloridaFisher87
I'm going to vital statistics here soon. If I establish that I'm on the birth certificate which proves I'm the father at that point what leeway do I have? If we can both prove we are parents and I have him currently won't the police just say there's nothing they can do and she has to wait until a court date or settlement out of court?
If you're on the birth certificate the police many not do anything anyway. But you NEED that court order.
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Once I have proof I'm his legal father then if she can take him from me.. I can do that same.. correct? I mean what's she gonna say? I kidnapped him? I've stayed in the same house as always. She's the one trying to leave the state with him. She's not even a resident of GA yet and from what I've read she cannot even file custody there until she takes steps to do so.
The problem is SHE doesn't have to file for custody - she's by default the legal custodian. YOU are the one who needs to establish custody via the court system.
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She doesn't have a license or voter registration and she doesn't even have mail going there.. We're both proven parents and I have him right now.. There's no reason they should be able to allow her to take him without my permission as well and if so.. I should be able to reach over and get him back.
The reason is that she's currently the only parent with LEGAL custody of the child - hence, every reason why she has more rights than you at the moment.
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What's the difference if I can provide proof?
I have a lawyer I'm going to try to speak with today and I plan to make other calls as well to be certain to find the right one.
Good luck!