I Found Out I Am Not Able to Have Kids but I Pay Child Support

My question involves a child custody case from the State of PA. I found out that I was never able to have children today. I pay child support for the child. I don't want to do anything to hurt my visitation, I love my son and have always been his father, and this wont change that. But I am wondering what are if any legal actions that can be taken against my ex wife for the lie that she has pulled over my eyes for the last 9 years. Thanks for any and all advice.

how do you know you were not able to impregnate a woman 9 years ago?


and if you don't want to pay child support because it isn't your child, you do not get to continue the rest of the things (visitation included) that a father would get to do.

Because I had an ultra sound done, and was told this by a doctor. I am not concerned about the child support, I am in the military and make good money. He is still my son. I am more concerned with the fraud that has been committed isn't there a law against doing this? Thanks for the reply!

Also my current wife and I have been trying to have kids for the last 5 years with no luck so this being said I have been broke for awhile.

an ultra sound now does not prove your condition over 9 years ago. The ONLY way to determine if the child is yours is for the both of you to submit to a DNA test.


and if you are not going to contest parentage, how can you claim the woman did anything wrong?

Either accept the child as yours and keep paying your child support or go the total opposite and argue it is not yours and attempt to have the CS order nullified. Along with that, any rights you have as a father will also be terminated.

your choice.

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Also my current wife and I have been trying to have kids for the last 5 years with no luck so this being said I have been broke for awhile.

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still no proof. DNA is the only way to prove anything concerning paternity.

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Quoting jk

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an ultra sound now does not prove your condition over 9 years ago. The ONLY way to determine if the child is yours is for the both of you to submit to a DNA test.


and if you are not going to contest parentage, how can you claim the woman did anything wrong?

Either accept the child as yours and keep paying your child support or go the total opposite and argue it is not yours and attempt to have the CS order nullified. Along with that, any rights you have as a father will also be terminated.

your choice.

still no proof. DNA is the only way to prove anything concerning paternity.

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Look,

I am looking for the laws regarding what my rights are as far as a human being that was lied to and see if there are any laws regarding fraud and such. I only put that I was paying child support to show that I had a child. Maybe it gave you the wrong impression but I am not interested in taking my name off of the birth certificate and giving up my rights. What I do want to know is, is there a law in the state of PA that deals with the mother knowingly stating the wrong father. By no means am I trying to end my relationship with the child. I know that a DNA test is the only way to "quote" prove this in my case. But when a doctor looks you in the eye and tells you he is sorry there is no way that you could ever have kids "EVER" that gets to you. No I haven't gone that far, I found this out today for "CERTAIN". As far as what she did wrong, if this has never happened to you don't try to understand you will never be able to. All I am looking for is what the law says on this matter. Not a bunch of questions on why I feel this is wrong to do to a human. If you could give me some help in the right direction on where to look for the laws I would be very grateful. If your just going to sit on your side of the computer and try to figure out why I think this is wrong and in some way poke fun of the situation that I found myself in today and tell me the things that I am aware of please don't. I came here looking for some answers not looking to get talked down to. You may know the laws, and how to read those books. That is great. I can show you how to set up a satellite terminal and run computers and voice over IP phones anywhere in the world. I am not uneducated in any means, I am just ignorant in this area. Please don't talk to me like I am just a dead beat looking to get out of something. A moral aspect of life has been broken in my eyes, and it is a major blow. I just want to know if there is any information anywhere regarding this. And again any help would be greatly appreciated.

Thanks

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Quoting Keltec9mm

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Look,

I am looking for the laws regarding what my rights are as far as a human being that was lied to and see if there are any laws regarding fraud and such. I only put that I was paying child support to show that I had a child. Maybe it gave you the wrong impression but I am not interested in taking my name off of the birth certificate and giving up my rights. What I do want to know is, is there a law in the state of PA that deals with the mother knowingly stating the wrong father. By no means am I trying to end my relationship with the child. I know that a DNA test is the only way to "quote" prove this in my case. But when a doctor looks you in the eye and tells you he is sorry there is no way that you could ever have kids "EVER" that gets to you. No I haven't gone that far, I found this out today for "CERTAIN". As far as what she did wrong, if this has never happened to you don't try to understand you will never be able to. All I am looking for is what the law says on this matter. Not a bunch of questions on why I feel this is wrong to do to a human. If you could give me some help in the right direction on where to look for the laws I would be very grateful. If your just going to sit on your side of the computer and try to figure out why I think this is wrong and in some way poke fun of the situation that I found myself in today and tell me the things that I am aware of please don't. I came here looking for some answers not looking to get talked down to. You may know the laws, and how to read those books. That is great. I can show you how to set up a satellite terminal and run computers and voice over IP phones anywhere in the world. I am not uneducated in any means, I am just ignorant in this area. Please don't talk to me like I am just a dead beat looking to get out of something. A moral aspect of life has been broken in my eyes, and it is a major blow. I just want to know if there is any information anywhere regarding this. And again any help would be greatly appreciated.

Thanks

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Why exactly do you think you've been lied to?

Maybe Mom genuinely thought you were/are Dad? Obviously NEITHER of you were aware of the situation until recently....and please, lose your defensiveness.

If this boils down to morals versus the law, then the law will win.

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Quoting Keltec9mm

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My question involves a child custody case from the State of PA. I found out that I was never able to have children today. I pay child support for the child. I don't want to do anything to hurt my visitation, I love my son and have always been his father, and this wont change that. But I am wondering what are if any legal actions that can be taken against my ex wife for the lie that she has pulled over my eyes for the last 9 years. Thanks for any and all advice.

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How long ago were you divorced?

It's most likely too late to legally contest paternity and get a court ordered DNA test. But, you might want to get a quick consult with a local attorney just to make sure.

Beyond the legal aspects though, if you have been the father for 9 years, you should think long and hard about your son's needs before you attempt to do anything.
Even though it can be devastating to think that your wife lied, your son would probably be more devastated to lose the only Dad he's known and loves.

ETA: I started typing my answer then was interrupted by a phone call and didn't read your last post until after I posted.

As I said, the legal answer is that it is probably too late to do anything at this point. yes, it's frustrating that wife MAY have lied, but there aren't any laws that can address that type of fraud in your situation. Actually, even in situations where fraud can be proven, nothing is ever done to the mothers who commit this type of fraud. Basically, it's best to just let it go and go on enjoying being a father to your son.

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Quoting Xena

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How long ago were you divorced?

It's most likely too late to legally contest paternity and get a court ordered DNA test. But, you might want to get a quick consult with a local attorney just to make sure.

Beyond the legal aspects though, if you have been the father for 9 years, you should think long and hard about your son's needs before you attempt to do anything.
Even though it can be devastating to think that your wife lied, your son would probably be more devastated to lose the only Dad he's known and loves.

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And this doesn't even touch on the fact that Mom may have genuinely believed OP was father...and how can OP PROVE that Mom lied if he's not biologically Dad.

But yeah. This needs to be about the child. Not the parents.

Because at a child custody case about 7 years ago her lawyer asked if the child wasn't mine would I still fight so hard. It caught me off guard than, but I never forgot it. Now that comment means a lot to me.

So on that note is there any other similar cases out there, something that I could look at to help me decide on where I go from here?

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Quoting Keltec9mm

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Because at a child custody case about 7 years ago her lawyer asked if the child wasn't mine would I still fight so hard. It caught me off guard than, but I never forgot it. Now that comment means a lot to me.

So on that note is there any other similar cases out there, something that I could look at to help me decide on where I go from here?

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You can do some research yourself, but what little you will find only applies to situations where the fraud (or alleged fraud) was discovered very shortly after the child's birth and before the parent and child relationship had been established.

I know all of this is hard to accept, it might be worthwhile for you to get a consult with a local attorney and possibly get some counseling to help you learn to cope with what MIGHT be the truth.