I am a friend of a guy would is a father, and a great father at that. He has done more than the courts have even asked for,even paying money to help with his child before ordered. He is a loving and caring father,and has 100% interest in the child, her safty,education,and life.
Due to the economy,his money has become extremly tight,but he still maintains travel to visit his child every month,which is 13-14 hours away. He can't afford a lawyer and still visit his child,and pays child support,together. He has to choose travel or he would not see her at all.
The mother has many issues and is a terrible mother,these are facts both legally and personaly. Issues of neglect,suicide attempts,pills,drinking,just to name a few. The courts have really been in her favor in many cases due to her ability to manipulate to system,and fool many involved. She has build a case on many lies and false accusations,and sadly this has worked in her favor many times. He had recieved short custody(a few months) while she had a chance to "get herself staight", only to recieve custody again.
How can a father,with little and no help legally,prove he is the best person to raise his child? He has been through so much as a father, trying to do the best for his child, and hit road block after road block, never being proven to be unfit for his child. Her care,education and health, improved while he had custody,yet he still had to turn her over to the mother. The child (5 years old), shows her personal choice of being with the father,as well.
What are any of the things that a father can do in this case? Any advice will be appreciated....please help....Im a very concerned friend for both of there well being....
Father Needs Full Custody
Printable View
-
02-09-2010, 12:36 PMburns5150Father Needs Full Custody
-
02-09-2010, 02:34 PMBaystategirlRe: Father Needs Full Custody.adviceQuote:
Quoting burns5150
How do you "know" these "allegations"? Were you there to witness this? Or are you relating what the father has told you?
It would behoove the father to post under his own name to get assistance. -
02-09-2010, 03:53 PMburns5150Re: Father Needs Full Custody.advice
I understand that there are many situations where the father is not all that they can be. I have seen this ,even with many of my friends. This is a man who is far from being an average dad. I have know this man for almost 35 years,childhood friends. I didnt know the mother as well,but enough to see how she was,and had a lie told on me as well. This is not a personal grudge on the mother,but I am a concerned friend of the family and also care for the future of this child. My friend is not one to go on a forum and seek advice from strangers,but I have used this site in unrelated terms,and recieved great advice,that is why I have choose the forum again.
I know that it is difficult to see that the father is the one right this time,over the mother,but it does happen. Fathers deserve more rights,or should at least be allowed a fair shake. I know enough about each person in this case,to be able to determine fault in this situation,and have heard it from the child as well. Isn't that how most cases determine who is fit or not, he said ,she said, lacking "witnesses"? Having very little knowledge of what truely happens behind closed doors? I know what I know,and had no problem listening at both sides. There is a bad parent and a good parant here,and I have know which one is which,believe me.
I have suggested him posting here,but he has lost faith in the many area of the system. I posted to see if there is advice to give him,to gain some of that faith back. Any advice? -
02-09-2010, 04:05 PMBaystategirlRe: Father Needs Full Custody.adviceYou are totally out of line posting HIS SITUATION without HIS knowledge or permission. If he is concerned, HE has the right to resolve it. You are NOTHING in this. A LEGAL STRANGER that has WAY overstepped their place.Quote:
My friend is not one to go on a forum and seek advice from strangers,but I have used this site in unrelated terms,and recieved great advice,that is why I have choose the forum again.
Please...Don't involve yourself any further or you could really jeopardize your "friendship" with this man. -
02-09-2010, 05:17 PMburns5150Re: Father Needs Full Custody.adviceWow, Baystategirl,...Im afraid legally,you may be correct. But I am not asking you to win this case. I simply asked for some form of advice to pass on to help a dear friend. To say I am NOTHING is what is "out of line". I am seeking information and helpful advice, to assist someone whom may not seek advice HERE. This is a place that I look toward for common advice, not to save he world. I didnt use names or specific information to jeopardize his situation ,or at the very same,our friendship. Maybe that is the type friendship we have ,that I could seek sound advice or another opinion due to my own search. I have been involved in this since the begining,and feel as much a part of this as anyone could. My concern is that wrong be made right,for the sake of a child and good father,not a self destructing mother.Quote:
Quoting Baystategirl
My opinion is, if you dont have sound advice and are just here to "police" me for being a caring friend, then please pass by this topic and attack someone else. Leave this thread to someone who may be able to give (...and I say again) simple advice or knowledge to help a friend. You are wasting your time telling me to remove myself from wanting to assist a friend,with there knowledge or not..... Dont you have friends like this,Baystategirl ??....Please assist somewhere else,if you have no advice in this matter..... -
02-09-2010, 05:28 PMLawResearcherMissyRe: Father Needs Full CustodyShe gave you that advice: He needs to post here himself.Quote:
I simply asked for some form of advice to pass on to help a dear friend.
He's the one with access to all the information, he's the guy we'd want to be talking to and trying to help out. He's the guy we'd need to ask for specifics. If he even WANTS the help to begin with. -
02-09-2010, 05:41 PMburns5150Re: Father Needs Full CustodyI have suggested this to him , to search advice here. He may or maynot take me up on this. All I was looking for was starter advice. Maybe this would help him see that this site could be helpful. I didnt come here to be told I was way out of line, being attacked by "Baygirl". Who knew being a friend could upset someone in that manor...I wish I could get him on here LawResearchMissy,but its not that easy,and yet he does appreciate advice. But as said before, he has lost faith in searching for help,I was just trying to help. I have alot of basic knowledge in this case, this is a very good friend,and was only helping him out. (and "NO", I am not the father here,but saying I am the "friend"....)Quote:
Quoting LawResearcherMissy
-
02-09-2010, 06:03 PMLawResearcherMissyRe: Father Needs Full Custody
Like it or not, Baysie is correct - you ARE out of line.
Frankly, if one of my friends was out posting up my personal business on the internet...they wouldn't be my friend any more. And they would probably be short a few teeth.
Maybe my Opa raised me a bit old-fashioned, but that's just not done. You don't go hanging someone else's dirty laundry out on the line.
If he really, truly wants the help, if he's serious about wanting help, he'll ask questions himself. If he's not willing to ask questions himself, he's not looking for help. -
02-09-2010, 06:45 PMburns5150Re: Father Needs Full CustodyWow, You two guys are pretty sharp. I was searching for good advice to help a friend and I found two very helpful advisers. Now I have the knowledge I needed on how to go about losing friends and loosing teeth!!! I asked for simple advice,not a personal lesson form the "moral police". And to be quite honest,when I asked my friend to seek advice here, his comment was that there was nobody that was really wanting to help,and it would be a waste of time. Guess what? He would be correct on this one! You have shown the "smart ass" side of the system,not one ounce of help,but jabs in the wrong dirrection. I will be sure to tell my friend that I was on here,but not to encourage him to visit, but to confirm that he was right. This was a waste of time. ...Here's another guess....You two are the ones that have buried many a man in the courtroom,defending the "mother",even if she is a fit parent or not. I may be wrong here, but with comments and the demeanor that you both have displayed,I would rather not have advice to pass on from either of your tables. Maybe...I am not wrong searching for advice for a friend,but rather, you both have forgotten the act of kindness and compassion over the years. It shows in your responses,you should be ashamed. I will not be so quick to search for advice in "your backyard" again. Thanks, but no thanks ,Ladies!Quote:
Quoting LawResearcherMissy
-
02-09-2010, 08:51 PMLawResearcherMissyRe: Father Needs Full Custody
Sweetheart, we're all volunteers - and laypeople - here, and we don't have to be nice to you.
If your friend really wants help, send him here. If he wants help, he'll come.
Until then, you're just being a busybody.