My Boyfriend is a Felon - How Can This Affect Custody in My Divorce

it did happen an judges now days aren't saying "live with someone you can still have cusitdy" the words came out of the judges mouth based on him living with another woman that he's not married to isn't heathy or good inviroment for children to be in. both of us had good jobs an i never stopped him from seeing his children or cared that he was with someone else. when it comes to children they are very impressionable an its not healthy for them it confuses children. its ok to see someone. but in the courts eyes not living with someone your not married to is a factor with most judges

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Quoting PSCALES

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it did happen an judges now days aren't saying "live with someone you can still have cusitdy" the words came out of the judges mouth based on him living with another woman that he's not married to isn't heathy or good inviroment for children to be in. both of us had good jobs an i never stopped him from seeing his children or cared that he was with someone else. when it comes to children they are very impressionable an its not healthy for them it confuses children. its ok to see someone. but in the courts eyes not living with someone your not married to is a factor with most judges

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NO IT IS NOT.

Seriously. It's really not. If this is the case, please explain why SO many divorced folk get primary custody DESPITE the fact that they are living with someone to whom they are not married.

Look, we get that it was apparently a factor in your case. But please, do NOT imply that your case is typical - because it isn't.

I can back this up with enough case law to make Mount Kailash look tiny in comparison. You cannot do so. Please, stop implying that cohabitation is always going to be a bad thing. Or even that it will be seen negatively by MOST judges. Because frankly that is NOT the case.

I disagree with you. at the time of custidy i hadn't filed for a divorce. later on i filed for a divorce. it was the factor in custidy hearing. I do not wish to argue with you. each case may be different. it was the fact in my case. each lawyer may not choose to address this if its not brought to there attention. you need to check with the social sevice guide lines. this fact came from social sevice. because in child custidy cases there are ask to visit both parents home to gather information, to present to the courts. social sevices pointed this out upon there visit.

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Quoting PSCALES

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I disagree with you. at the time of custidy i hadn't filed for a divorce. later on i filed for a divorce. it was the factor in custidy hearing. I do not wish to argue with you. each case may be different. it was the fact in my case. each lawyer may not choose to address this if its not brought to there attention. you need to check with the social sevice guide lines. this fact came from social sevice. because in child custidy cases there are ask to visit both parents home to gather information, to present to the courts. social sevices pointed this out upon there visit.

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You can disagree until we're both blue in the face, hon. The fact remains, I can provide mountains of case law indicating that you are, frankly, wrong.

I'm almost tempted to ask why social services were involved.

They are NOT involved in most divorce/custody cases. Unless, of course, there is a reason....

Your ex being abusive towards you doesn't mean anything in regards to custody. Unless the ex has been abusive and the child has witnessed it or has been abusive towards the child, but if there were no police reports, it's a he said she said.
I hope your bf won't go back to that stuff, but with my experience with women who have come out of abusive relationships, they usually go into another abusive toxic relationship.... I've lived through it.
Either way, I'd do a "don't ask don't tell" logic with all this.

PSCALES:

WOW, that seems really not plausible. My DH's ex is living with her boyfriend and she was able to sweep on in and get joint custody in less than a year. I was not married to my DH when he received FULL custody of his child... In these days where there are many children born out of wedlock and couples together who are not married, I have to doubt this as being true.

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Quoting mrshiggins

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Your ex being abusive towards you doesn't mean anything in regards to custody. Unless the ex has been abusive and the child has witnessed it or has been abusive towards the child, but if there were no police reports, it's a he said she said.
I hope your bf won't go back to that stuff, but with my experience with women who have come out of abusive relationships, they usually go into another abusive toxic relationship.... I've lived through it.
Either way, I'd do a "don't ask don't tell" logic with all this.

PSCALES:

WOW, that seems really not plausible. My DH's ex is living with her boyfriend and she was able to sweep on in and get joint custody in less than a year. I was not married to my DH when he received FULL custody of his child... In these days where there are many children born out of wedlock and couples together who are not married, I have to doubt this as being true.

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To be perfectly honest, I'm thinking that adultery - rather than cohabitation in and of itself - was perhaps the point in PSCALES' posts. When a couple is formally separated it isn't much of an issue at all but in some states it IS true that adultery can impact custody decisions.

However, "adultery" is NOT synonymous with "cohabitation".

Which was part of my point ;)

It's entirely possible that it was the adultery - not the cohabitation - which was a deciding factor in PSCALES' case.

In the state of Virginia at your first hearing the judge ask for social services to investagate an each parent to attend parenting class and the judge appoints a gardian at liem for the child which he looks out for the child. after those are completed you go back to court. this doesn't mean either of the parents are doing anything wrong. This is done to protect the child. upon the reports given to the judge an hearing from all three lawyers is a dission given. an the report from social services. the judge then grants custidy. This is the way the judges are in the state of Virginia. In my case it had nothing to do with divorce because one hadn't been filed. social services said its not best for the child to be in the home with him not being married to the woman whom he was living with. Its not heathy for the child. It had nothing to do with him commiting adultrey. Like I said check with your local social services for more information on that. An when I did file for divorce him being with another woman never came into play we both agreed there for there was no disagreement. we didn't have any hard feelings. we both acted like adults. we have never went back for custidy again the order is still in place. Each state may not use social services to assit in custidy. But as for Virginia they do.

Well gee, that didn't happen in either my neighbor's Virginia divorce, nor his sister's Virginia divorce.

Do you understand that what happened in your case may NOT be typical? You cannot speak for every judge, every case and every county in Virginia. In many districts a GAL is ONLY appointed if the parents request one is appointed and social services are never involved at all unless there has been PRIOR issue.

Understand?

(and parenting classes are NOT automatically ordered, either)

its the way Virginia JDR courts are. there was never any issues ever happened. the class is through heath start familys. the class explains the do's an don'ts for custidy an how to address this with the child so that understands. Thats the class I'm talking about. They call it a parenting class. Social services is the the first time custidy is ever brought to court..not that anyone has done anything wrong.

Like I said before when custidy was filed for DIVORCE WASN'T FILED so that had nothing to do with it......this was custidy only we didn't go an bad mouth the other.

This was not a divorce hearing so that didn't have anything to do with it. so you can't compare the two cases. no divorce had ever been filed. this was custidy only

Are you reading? :confused:

I give up folks. I really do.