Termination of Parental Rights Before Mother Remarries

My question involves child support in the State of: Florida. Some time ago my girlfriend became pregnant and left me soon after without knowing if the child was mine. Some two full years later I recieve a letter stating that myself and a codependant were to be tested for paternity. I was proven the biological father. Without ever being able to make contact with the mother I was summoned to court to determine my child support order. She had since moved to Ohio and did not attend the heading. My arrearages were waived and I was ordered to pay child support. When I finally made contact with her she told me that since we were never married I wouldn't be allowed to visit unless I traveled to Ohio. That's the background, now the question:

The biological mother and myself have since regained contact and decided that we were both willing to consent to a termination of my parental rights, and her boyfriend was willing to adopt but not to marry her. The only legal advice that I've been able to find or afford told me simply that the state of Florida would not perform TPR without the child being first adopted by the biological mother's HUSBAND. Should I even be required to pay for this child support? And if so, what are my options involving TPR?

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Quoting Themerkle

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My question involves child support in the State of: Florida. Some time ago my girlfriend became pregnant and left me soon after without knowing if the child was mine. Some two full years later I recieve a letter stating that myself and a codependant were to be tested for paternity. I was proven the biological father. Without ever being able to make contact with the mother I was summoned to court to determine my child support order. She had since moved to Ohio and did not attend the heading. My arrearages were waived and I was ordered to pay child support. When I finally made contact with her she told me that since we were never married I wouldn't be allowed to visit unless I traveled to Ohio. That's the background, now the question:

The biological mother and myself have since regained contact and decided that we were both willing to consent to a termination of my parental rights, and her boyfriend was willing to adopt but not to marry her. The only legal advice that I've been able to find or afford told me simply that the state of Florida would not perform TPR without the child being first adopted by the biological mother's HUSBAND. Should I even be required to pay for this child support? And if so, what are my options involving TPR?

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Why shouldn't you be required to support your child? :confused:

Basically yes, a TPR won't happen unless there is a husband - not a boyfriend, not a fiance - willing to adopt the child.

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The only legal advice that I've been able to find or afford told me simply that the state of Florida would not perform TPR without the child being first adopted by the biological mother's HUSBAND.

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That's because that's the only legal advice there is. The courts will not allow you to have your rights terminated in order for her boyfriend to adopt the child, period. It's not in the best interests of the child.

Should she and this fella marry, THEN she would have grounds to ask you to waive your parental rights to clear the way for her husband to adopt the child.

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Should I even be required to pay for this child support?

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Of course you should. You helped make him, didn't you? The courts hold that children are entitled to support - including financial support - from BOTH parents. Child support is not tied to visitation, you cannot declare that you will not pay support simply because you've not taken steps to secure a visitation order.

Please don't think me a deadbeat dad, or that I'm trying to circumvent my obligation to my daughter. I'm willing, able, and financialy sound enough to care for her. My ex girlfriend and I spoke and we agree that she chose to decline me as a father and caregiver, she feels I need not pay her support. She now lives with her parents and boyfriend, and thinks my daughter is better cared for than I could do myself.

I simply meant to ask if there was any legal manner in which we could attain that outcome, without her needing to be married? Is it possible for her to consentingly end the support order?

[QUOTE=Themerkle;387083] When I finally made contact with her she told me that since we were never married I wouldn't be allowed to visit unless I traveled to Ohio. [QUOTE]

Just so you know, that is a complete load of hogwash! You can go to the Ohio courts right now and petition for visitation rights, and after an indtroductory period, unless Mom can prove that you are somehow unstable, you will be allowed to take the child to your residence for visitations. Please consider actually getting to know your child before you abandon her.

Also, the only way to end child support is if another assumes the obligation. The boyfriend would have to marry your ex and adopt your daughter.

Mom can certainly contact CSE and ask them to close the case. She'll also have the option of reopening it at any time should she wish to, up until a step-parent adoption.

Thanks for the answers and advice everyone, and thanks Dogmatique for the good news. Is this something mom can handle over the telephone or would she need to appear in a Florida court?

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Quoting Themerkle

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Thanks for the answers and advice everyone, and thanks Dogmatique for the good news. Is this something mom can handle over the telephone or would she need to appear in a Florida court?

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She needs to call and ask what she needs to do ;)

(Bear in mind that they may not actually grant her request)

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Quoting Themerkle

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My question involves child support in the State of: Florida. Some time ago my girlfriend became pregnant and left me soon after without knowing if the child was mine. Some two full years later I recieve a letter stating that myself and a codependant were to be tested for paternity. I was proven the biological father. Without ever being able to make contact with the mother I was summoned to court to determine my child support order. She had since moved to Ohio and did not attend the heading. My arrearages were waived and I was ordered to pay child support. When I finally made contact with her she told me that since we were never married I wouldn't be allowed to visit unless I traveled to Ohio. That's the background, now the question:

The biological mother and myself have since regained contact and decided that we were both willing to consent to a termination of my parental rights, and her boyfriend was willing to adopt but not to marry her. The only legal advice that I've been able to find or afford told me simply that the state of Florida would not perform TPR without the child being first adopted by the biological mother's HUSBAND. Should I even be required to pay for this child support? And if so, what are my options involving TPR?

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Actually, Florida does allow a TPR without an adoption when the CP agrees and can prove to the court that she can fully support the child without CS.

The best thing to do is to get a consult with a local attorney, which you can do by calling the Florida Bar Lawyer Referral service at 1-800-342-8011.

Why did she take you to court in the first place? Why was two guys tested? How did you manage to go two years without finding out if your preganant ex-gf was carrying your child? Why would another man want to adobt (but not marry the mother) another man child who fully capable of supporting the child?

It sounds like if you start excersing your rights you will speed up the process. The longer you doing nothing the longer you convience everyone. Plus a few visits might cause something to kick in like "Fatherhood".

I am not judging you...I am sure there is a lot more to this than what has been stated.

Good luck and go see your daughter before YOU agree to anything.

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Quoting Lawrence084

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How did you manage to go two years without finding out if your preganant ex-gf was carrying your child?

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Do you keep track of every single thing happening to your ex? I sure as heck don't. :confused:

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Why would another man want to adobt (but not marry the mother) another man child who fully capable of supporting the child?

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Oh I don't know. Maybe because the man grows to love the child? Maybe because it's not about money?

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It sounds like if you start excersing your rights you will speed up the process. The longer you doing nothing the longer you convience everyone.

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What are you talking about?

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Quoting Dogmatique

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Do you keep track of every single thing happening to your ex? I sure as heck don't. :confused:

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Actually no. I have been in the same situation, but I was the guy who wasn't the bio-father. My question really was: Is the reason you don't want no part of being the father is because of the poor relationship you had with the mother? If, so that is not a good reason to want nothing to do with your child.

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Quoting Dogmatique

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Oh I don't know. Maybe because the man grows to love the child? Maybe because it's not about money?

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And maybe you should find out if why. The child is yours.

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Quoting Dogmatique

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What are you talking about?

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What I am saying is, Your child mother and her boyfriend are making plans for the child if you decide to take some kind of action. It read like the actions are in your favor, but as long as you stand pat. Nothing going to happen, because the is no need for any action to be made. You are there and mother is wherever she is, collecting $$$$ with no real interest from you. Why should she make any decisions as long as you do nothing but send money? It reads as if she will let you off the hook if you show up constantly wanting visitation.