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Paying Support and Getting Harrassed

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  • 01-21-2010, 07:30 PM
    pralims
    Paying Support and Getting Harrassed
    Hello , I reside in PA.

    I have a support order and recently i lost my job. So i applied for UC benefits and I got denied. But the compnay did give me severance. now the mother has physical custody and she recieves the support i pay thru the system. But she still harrasses me to buy him stuff and bring it to her house. She never wants me to see him and i must admit i do barter the things he needs to see him(seems like the only way outside of court). so the question is...what can happen to her once they find out i have been buying him things for her house while shes collecting support. I do understand that i can buy him things when hes with me. but i am basically supporting him outside and thru the system.
    so again...what can happen to her and what should i file....termination or support or reduction.
  • 01-21-2010, 07:43 PM
    Dogmatique
    Re: Paying Support and Getting Harrassed
    Quote:

    Quoting pralims
    View Post
    Hello , I reside in PA.

    I have a support order and recently i lost my job. So i applied for UC benefits and I got denied. But the compnay did give me severance. now the mother has physical custody and she recieves the support i pay thru the system. But she still harrasses me to buy him stuff and bring it to her house. She never wants me to see him and i must admit i do barter the things he needs to see him(seems like the only way outside of court). so the question is...what can happen to her once they find out i have been buying him things for her house while shes collecting support. I do understand that i can buy him things when hes with me. but i am basically supporting him outside and thru the system.
    so again...what can happen to her and what should i file....termination or support or reduction.


    Anything you provide outside of a court order will be considered a gift. Mom will not be penalized at all.

    Do you have court-ordered visitation yet? If not, you need to file in court for that. You also, given your reduced income, perhaps need to modify the child support order to reflect this.
  • 01-23-2010, 03:52 AM
    pralims
    Re: Paying Support and Getting Harrassed
    so it can still be considered a gift if she harrasses me to get it.... and she doesn't provide it for him when she gets support. she buys him $100 jordan sneakers and complain she doesnt have money to buy him a new pair of sneakers. I buy him $40 sneakers and she doesnt want him to wear those.
  • 01-23-2010, 07:10 AM
    NdK1009
    Re: Paying Support and Getting Harrassed
    It sounds as though your ex has figured out the best way to manipulate you. Yes, even if she harasses you, if you cave it is considered a gift. You need to stop this behavior. If, when your son is with you, you notice that he needs an item, or you want to give him something, that is the appropriate opportunity to do so. Handing it directly to Mom is just asking for trouble.

    If she harasses you to obtain items/money, then document it and consider filing a harassment suit. My guess though is that as soon as she figures out that her whining is no longer effective she'll quit.
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