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Enforcing a Child's Decision to Live with Us

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  • 01-14-2010, 11:21 AM
    justme3071976
    Enforcing a Child's Decision to Live with Us
    My question involves a child custody case from the State of: Florida/Georgia

    My step daughter lives in Florida and we live in Georgia, and she has decided that she wants to come live with us. She is 17 years old and she has 8 months until she turns 18. My question is this, if she came up to visit and then told her mom that she wants to live with us, can she? Without us going to court that is, Please serious responses only. We can't afford to go to court again because the mom will sack us with her lawyer fee AGAIN like she always does. Thank you.
  • 01-14-2010, 11:40 AM
    cbg
    Re: Enforcing a Child's Decision to Live with Us
    Who has legal custody? Mom only, or is it joint?

    When she is 18, it will be her decision to make. Until she is 18, that's another question.
  • 01-14-2010, 12:00 PM
    justme3071976
    Re: Enforcing a Child's Decision to Live with Us
    Quote:

    Quoting cbg
    View Post
    Who has legal custody? Mom only, or is it joint?

    When she is 18, it will be her decision to make. Until she is 18, that's another question.


    The divorce papers state "The wife will have primary custody of the parties' minor child" they also state "The parties will have shared parental responsibility, and shall confer with one another on any major decisions concerning the welfare of the child" Now having said that...I was told that there is a HIGH possibility that they are moving over seas b/c of the mother's new husband. We CAN NOT afford to go to court to fight this, my step daughter does NOT want to go overseas.
    They also state "The parties shall not disparage or criticize the other parent, nor allow any other to do so, whether to or in the presence of the child, and shall do all things to foster love and respect between the child and the other parent, and neither shall do anything which may knowingly hamper the other's natural and continuing relationship to the child" OK..NOW having said that, she is ALWAYS badmouthing us, a friend of my step daughter told me that she always hears her say "a buncha crap about me and my husband".
    Also states "the husband shall have frequent and liberal contact with the minor child, and the right to visit with and be visited by the minor child at any and all reasonable times and places upon reasonable notice to the wife, provided that the wife should change her residence to a location more than 75 miles from --- county, Florida the husband shall have at least 8 weeks of extended visitation with the minor child each year, with no more than 6 weeks at any one period of extended visitation." OK now having said that...we haven't seen her in 2 1/2 years! MAINLY because the mother will NOT allow us to see her, she finally agreed to a visitation for 3 weeks this last weekend. Also she moved from that county, and we do have the child support visitation guidelines that state the same thing as far as visitation. She is in contempt for MANY MANY MANY things. When they moved, she did NOT tell us that they moved, where they moved to, etc. The child told us. The mother does not allow her to call her dad, (which we are supposed to be able to talk to her 2 times a week) so we got her a cell phone to call us on. Which her mom takes away from her. The mother also makes her sleep on the couch in the living room when the child has a perfectly good bed to sleep in, in her OWN room. I could seriously go on and on, but I think you get the point why we want her here, and why she wants to come live here, she has told me very NUMEROUS times that she is very unhappy and that she has no life!
  • 01-14-2010, 12:11 PM
    Dogmatique
    Re: Enforcing a Child's Decision to Live with Us
    Then kiddo goes back to Mom after the visit.

    It's that simple.

    Why hasn't Dad taken this to court before to get that rather horrible visitation order changed?

    Or filed for contempt?
  • 01-14-2010, 12:29 PM
    justme3071976
    Re: Enforcing a Child's Decision to Live with Us
    Quote:

    Quoting Dogmatique
    View Post
    Then kiddo goes back to Mom after the visit.

    It's that simple.

    Why hasn't Dad taken this to court before to get that rather horrible visitation order changed?

    Or filed for contempt?


    We simply do NOT have the money, we are under chapter 13 bankruptcy, if we take her back to court, she can try to raise the child support, but she can't take us back to court b/c of the bankruptcy protection. My husband is working two jobs in order for us to be able to pay our bills!! He gets 150 taken out of his check every week already. He works nearly 70 hours a week just so we can afford to eat!
    What about the overseas deal? What if that happens? Can't he refuse that or not allow that to happen without going to court that is? What about her getting emancipated from her parents (yeah that would kill my husband) but he would understand so she can have a life!!!! I feel really bad for her, her mom won't allow her to talk to me on the internet or anything. This has just REALLY gotten out of control!!!

    and another thing, what about her sleeping on the couch? Isn't that considered some form of abuse?!?! Especially since she has a perfectly good bed to sleep in????
  • 01-14-2010, 01:02 PM
    cbg
    Re: Enforcing a Child's Decision to Live with Us
    I doubt that sleeping on the couch is considered abuse. Ask those kids who are beaten and kicked out of the house.

    I understand that you want someone to say that if your stepdaughter refuses to go back to her mother's house, there is nothing her mother can do about it. Unfortunately, that is not the case - not until a court says so. While I am not unsympathetic to either your or her feelings, the fact remains that your options are to either send her back home when she's supposed to go, or have your husband apply for modification of the order. The same applies to the overseas venture.
  • 01-14-2010, 01:18 PM
    justme3071976
    Re: Enforcing a Child's Decision to Live with Us
    Ok, thank you so much for your advice, I just don't want to get in to any trouble, and I don't want the child to be hurt in the process, I completely understand what you are saying, and OH YES it would be nice to hear someone say, yeah she can come live with you, but I do understand that we do have laws and that they need to be abided by! I really appreciate your advice. Thank you SO SINCERELY MUCH!!!!!
    I was just unsure about the couch issue b/c of her actually having a bed.
    Just one more question, if the mother agrees to let her come live here, that would be OK though correct? I doubt it will happen, but nothing ventured nothing gained, because she actually has told her to come live with us (and yes it was during an argument), so I know it was said in the heat of the moment! Just wondering is all...Thanks again!!!
  • 01-14-2010, 01:29 PM
    LawResearcherMissy
    Re: Enforcing a Child's Decision to Live with Us
    Quote:

    and another thing, what about her sleeping on the couch? Isn't that considered some form of abuse?!?!
    It's not even in the same universe as abuse. Come on, now.

    Quote:

    Just one more question, if the mother agrees to let her come live here, that would be OK though correct?
    She lives wherever the custodial parent says she can live. So, if Mom says sure, go stay with your Dad and step-Mom, then she can come stay with you.

    Keep in mind, however, that she can revoke that permission right up until the girl turns 18.
  • 01-14-2010, 01:37 PM
    justme3071976
    Re: Enforcing a Child's Decision to Live with Us
    Quote:

    Quoting LawResearcherMissy
    View Post
    It's not even in the same universe as abuse. Come on, now.


    I'm not asking this to be bashed! OK? I'm just simply asking b/c of the issue at hand. YOU never KNOW what can be considered abuse these days!!! I am not a law researcher as you are, but I am an intelligent person, but as I stated...I don't know ALL of the laws!!!
  • 01-14-2010, 01:50 PM
    cbg
    Re: Enforcing a Child's Decision to Live with Us
    Um, I don't mean this to be rude, I really don't.

    But if you consider that comment to be bashing, I don't wonder that you're having trouble distinguishing sleeping on the couch from actual abuse.

    You're over-reacting just a tad, here.
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