Domestic Violence: Menacing 3rd Degree, Domestic Violence

My question involves criminal law for the state of: New York

I was arrested and charged with menacing 3rd degree B misdemeanor During an argument I
put my hands on my wife's throat for a moment, she later called police and I was arrested. This is the first time I was ever arrested and the first time I ever got physically abusive with my wife. She has an order of protection , but has allowed me to stay in our house. She has forgiven the incident provided I get counciling, but the charges are The State of New York Vs. Myself, my wife is only a witness. She is now more upset that I may be jailed or given probation with a stay away order and she cannot do anything to stop this. Have an appointment with an attorney. This case is in domestic violence court.
My areas of concern are
Should I just plead guilty to the charge and accept what the court decides?
What usually happens in a first offense case like this.
I am ready to accept full responsibility for my actions and plead guilty if it will help us be able to stay together and work this out.
Can my wife influence the District Attorney / Court in my behalf in any way
We would gladly accept probation / domestic violence councilling anything but my wife and myself are terrified of being separated by the court against her or my wishes. We are both in our early sixties and have never been involved in anything like this before.