Getting My Husband Out of an Assault Charge

My question involves criminal law for the state of: Maryland

My husband and I have been married for 10 years now and I have never been threatened by my husband. However, this week we got in a terrible argument, which led to me saying very ugly nasty things to my husband esp. about him being unemployed. That led to a very unexpected reaction. He slapped me on my face. He has never hit me before. I am 7 months pregnant and have a 2 yr old child. Being emotionally shaken and feeling very insulted by the slap, i made an extremely rash decision of calling 911 on him. Big mistake!
We had a perfect marriage, have struggled to achieve an educated and stable family. That day that discussion was the worst we had.
The police arrived so quickly that we didnt have a chance to think. They asked me so many questions. They saw the slap redness on my cheek to which my husband too agreed. Next thing they arrested my husband.
We have never faced anything like this before. I cant believe my 911 call in that unstable emotional state changed everything for us. My husband had to be in the jail for 7 hrs. he was released on bail with second degree assault charge. He now cannot come back home but can contact me.
I have many questions, fears......losing sleep over this. we want this case to be dismissed. We both have learnt a big lesson. we have a future ahead, our 2nd baby is coming soon, we want our life back. Please help with info that can help our case. Some questions -

1. can my husband be put throught jail time for this?
2. we have a lawyer but want to hear from people who had similar experience. what was the end result?
3. me being pregnant, is that going to be more of a disadvantage for a decision in his favor.
4. since both of us have honestly agreed to the argument and the slap, would that make it difficult for our case to be dismissed?

please reply with suggestions, ideas, your story, anything that will help.
We want our family back!!
THANKS

Hello,

I'm sorry you are going through this, and I don't have any legal advice except to question your lawyer extensively, and to try to be as open and honest to the judge as you can.

My only real piece of advice is to remember in the future that one or two seconds can change and/or ruin lives. Be careful what you do or say when upset because the consequences may be irrevocable. (I'm not suggesting they are or are not in your particular situation, just that it's all too easy to lose too much in the heat of the moment.)

Good luck,

Not legal advice but I would..

-evoke spousal privilege to not testify against your husband; you can do this if it is a first offense in Maryland
-prepare for CPS visit since you have children
-Try to get the restraining order removed as soon as possible and stand together in court
-You both admitted the incident to the police but if this is a one time occurence then hopefully that will also go in the police report. It won't help that you are pregnant.

good luck

Fcel - thanks a lot for your suggestions

- I have decided to evoke spousal privilege to not testify against your husband.
- we will definitely look into a CPS visit
- I have filed a motion, the very next day, to remove the restraining order and allow my husband to stay with us at home. waiting to hear the response from the DA's office
- I am praying that they see this as a first occurence in a good marriage and actually make a decision to help our marriage and not ruin it.
- I am afraid that me being pregnant would make them extra protective of me which might be unfavorable in our situation. Can I bring out the fact that I have been going through terrible anger episodes and emotional ups and downs which I dont remember experiencing before. My Ob-gyn is also aware of it.

Thanks again for your replies. Few questions:
1. would it help if we undergo anger management and marriage counceling since we can meet outside our home.
2. would it help if my husband finds a job somehow or shows aggressive measures to find one, since the fight was mainly about him being unemployed
3. My husband has to meet his case manager weekly for supervision till our court date which is in 5 weeks. can communicating abt what we are facing help our situation. does the case manager have any input towards the decision.

thanks in advance for all your help.

Thanks for the reply and thoughts.
mmmagique - I agree with what you said. I failed to see everything I had up until that incident and totally misjudged my husband. I am very regretful of that and hope that myself or anyone else doesn't ever make such mistake. I pray all day and night for us to not undergo any further punishment for this one mistake!! we have suffered a lot already.

You cannot evoke spousal priviledge when the SPOUSE was the one that called the police.

That act already shattered it.

No, it was me who called the police (without much thinking).
Spousal priviledge is the only hopeful way out of this situation. I have nightmares about my husband being jailed for this one-time incident. Does anyone know the statistics/other cases where the spousal priviledge helped or not helped a Domestic Violence - second degree assault charge to be dropped?
thank you again for your responses and thoughts.

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Quoting ndhelp

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No, it was me who called the police (without much thinking).
Spousal priviledge is the only hopeful way out of this situation. I have nightmares about my husband being jailed for this one-time incident. Does anyone know the statistics/other cases where the spousal priviledge helped or not helped a Domestic Violence - second degree assault charge to be dropped?
thank you again for your responses and thoughts.

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Let me try this again.

You, the spouse, cannot call the police on your husband and then say that you don't want to testify because of spousal privilege.

You already have.

Further, many jurisdictions do not recognize the tenet of spousal privilege in DV cases for just this reason.

Last thing to remember... if the court thinks that you are comfortable with DV in your home, you may lose your children.

Spousal priviledge is typically a moot point in DV cases.

Jeff is correct. The prosecutor doesn't need the cooperation or testimony of the victim in a DV case. Sure it helps if they have it, but they have more than enough in most cases with the recording of the 911 call, the testimony of the responding officers, and their description of marks/injuries. Some 80% of victims attempt to throw wrenches in the gears of such cases to protect the abuser, many even being willing to go to jail themselves - and this happens to SUCH a degree that the system really has evolved to address such cases ANTICIPATING that victims will be uncooperative. But the bottom line remains: a crime HAS been committed, and regardless of the wishes of the victim, the system WILL attempt to address the crime. That the victim is ok with the crime occurring after the fact won't influence the case - either it has enough merit to stand on its own or it doesn't, and they'll pursue or drop based on those aspects.

Of particular note in cases where a child is involved, either as a witness or as a fetus, the stakes go up exponentially - not only does the level of the crime typically go UP (even as "up" as much as increasing a misdemeanor to a felony), but given that the rate of homicide of pregnant women due to domestic violence is much higher than non-pregnant women, you can pretty much COUNT on the prosecutor's office doing everything they can to NOT drop this. Also, violation of a protection/restraining order or ANY later level of violence is a surefire way to invite CPS to wisk in and remove the children. They'll remove FIRST, and hold hearings and discussions LATER.

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We both have learnt a big lesson.

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What lesson would that be?

Our lesson is: we need to control our anger no matter what. My pregnant emotional state made me so out of control. My husband seeing me creating a scene infront of our daughter and making terrible statements about him lost his temper too. We were already going through a very rough time to begin with, moved three homes in past 3 years (one being out of the country), dealt with many things and finally lost the job. The frustration was increasing slowly but we failed to reach out to our family, friends and others for help and support. I feel even if I had called my brother in town instead of the police, things would have sorted out so well. my family can vouch for my husband, me and our marriage. It was just a bad event in our life. Unfortunately, even though the slap was a very minor hurt, my ego was hurt more and I reacted very very wrongly. I cant explain how much this is hurting my family.
I will follow up more on the spousal priveledge with my lawyer. Thanks for your input.
I know that i have absolutely no fear of any kind from my husband and we both want this to be worked out at any price. I hope we can convince the judge how nothing but this marriage and family means everything for us two. I would consider myself extremely fortunate if they give us one more chance because that is all we both need. Please pray for us.

Regarding spousal privilege, I saw this invoked in about a dozen cases while I waited in court for my turn. The prosecutor basically had to decide whether there was enough evidence to go forward without the victim as a witness. In the cases where the only witness was the victim, then the DA almost always dismissed due to insuffucient evidence to prosecute the case. There were a couple of exceptions where there were photos taken by police, a previous restraining order and/or a particularly damning 911 with which the DA decided to continue to prosecute the case.

The officer could testify as to what he saw, which in your case is not much, but other than that police testifying about what you said is hearsay.

I do believe that you can invoke spousal privilege in Maryland see last paragraph of link below:

http://www.peoples-law.org/domviol/l...al_charges.htm

Remember as you go through this process you may meet some players that have no regard for the sanctity of your family but are much more interested in their roles and beliefs in the domestic violence industry. They'll spout statistics and safety issues, claim to know your family better than you, but will have no interest in the long-term emotional or financial stability of you or your children. Try to ignore the noise and focus on your family. And if at all possible stay away from CPS. Just my experience.

imho..

1. Yes, I think marriage couseling will help the cause whether through a professional or a pastor. The DV people will always tell you marriage counseling is not an option in DV cases but its just part of their philosphy that relationship dynamics and external factors (drinking, job loss, work stress) play no role in causing someone to have a violent incident. I don't buy this. Marriage counseling is exactly what you want as you go through this and all the emotions that come with it. Especially after it is over, you'll need to work the trauma of being involved with the system at all. My instinct is to say no on the anger management part unless you both feel it is really needed or it is ordered by the court. Those classes tend to cause additional stress and lower self-esteem.

2) In terms of the court case now, I don't think having a job will make a difference but it can't hurt to let the judge know he is actively pursuing one.

3) It is important not to have any communication that can be construed as witness tampering; in other words, he should not exert pressure on you not to testify in anyway. Other than that, you have to organize your childrens' and your schedules, so no issue communicating as long as the RO allows for it.

Dear Fcel,
I thank you so much for all your insights and suggestions. During the last 5 days ever since this incident occured, I have been voraciously reading information on DV cases and trying to find out how MD state justice statistics apply in our particular case. Your message gives me a great deal of relief and hope, especially the fact about invoking spousal priviledge and the police report being insufficient evidence by itself.
As you suggested, I am trying my best to stay strong and focus on the well-being of my family. My husband has been tremendously understanding and helpful giving me emotional support. We believe that if we stay strong through this rough time, keep educating ourselves, keep reaching out for the right help and be completely prepared for the steps ahead then hopefully things would all fall in place. hopefully we will get that one chance to put our life back in the proper direction where it used to be and where it should soon be.
Fcel, I thank you from the bottom of my heart for providing me with the relevant information and putting my mind to a little rest. Anything else that crosses your mind, any more info you think would be of benefit to me, please post it or email me. Thank you very very much.

Quote:

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Quoting ndhelp

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Dear Fcel,
I thank you so much for all your insights and suggestions. During the last 5 days ever since this incident occured, I have been voraciously reading information on DV cases and trying to find out how MD state justice statistics apply in our particular case. Your message gives me a great deal of relief and hope, especially the fact about invoking spousal priviledge and the police report being insufficient evidence by itself.
As you suggested, I am trying my best to stay strong and focus on the well-being of my family. My husband has been tremendously understanding and helpful giving me emotional support. We believe that if we stay strong through this rough time, keep educating ourselves, keep reaching out for the right help and be completely prepared for the steps ahead then hopefully things would all fall in place. hopefully we will get that one chance to put our life back in the proper direction where it used to be and where it should soon be.
Fcel, I thank you from the bottom of my heart for providing me with the relevant information and putting my mind to a little rest. Anything else that crosses your mind, any more info you think would be of benefit to me, please post it or email me. Thank you very very much.

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Did you actually read the whole site, or just the part that said what you wanted to hear?