Can Stepmom Keep Kids While Dad is Gone to Korea

My question involves a child custody case from the State of: Oklahoma ex-husband is in the army. going to korea for 2 years. currently has our 2 teens. The step mom wants to keep the kids and the child support. I want my kids home, they have been with their dad less than a year, I had them the first 3 years after divorce. can I bring them home or does the step mom have the parental rights to keep custody of the kids? Dad will not be present at all for 2-3 years.

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Quoting ctmudcreek

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My question involves a child custody case from the State of: Oklahoma ex-husband is in the army. going to korea for 2 years. currently has our 2 teens. The step mom wants to keep the kids and the child support. I want my kids home, they have been with their dad less than a year, I had them the first 3 years after divorce. can I bring them home or does the step mom have the parental rights to keep custody of the kids? Dad will not be present at all for 2-3 years.

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I don’t know about your state, but in Florida, custody remains with the step-parent even when the custodial parent is not at home. It’s to keep normalcy for the children while the custodial parent is away. It’s hard enough to have one parent gone and then add on the stress of moving into (or back to) another home.
I know it’s hard, try to see if you can work something out with your ex and his wife. I would advise you not to make this a court battle. It will not look good on you in your children’s eyes. TRY to work this out with your ex and his wife.
If you do want to press the issue, contact a lawyer that can work with military rights. You don’t want to come out looking like the bad guy trying to “steel” a soldiers kids while they are fighting for our country.

PS: I was the deploying service member, my ex-husband showed up to take my kids the day after I left. Our situation was different. My husband (their now adoptive father) is the only dad they have ever known, it was just luck (?) that we got stationed at a base where my ex was living. They had minimal contact with him, by his own doings, not mine. The law stated that the kids stay with my current husband even though my ex had joint custody at the time and I was half way around the world.

Good Luck! I feel for you I really do.

There is no talking it out with these two. The only reason he joined the military was that he couldn't hold down a job for more than two months at a time after our divorce, it wasn't for patriot reasons. And yes that was quoting him. As far as the stable home, they have moved the kids four times in the last 8 months. When they were with me, we never moved once in 6 years. He has also been denying me visitation since he has had the kids. I can't even get on the base to see them. I only get to talk to them once a week on the phone while he is listening in. I didn't even know about my daughters prom until a month after. I know once he leaves, I may never see my kids again. This person he married had her parental right revoked during her previous marriage, but I still do not know why. This worries me greatly since they would be with her.:wallbang:

You would need to bring a petition to modify custody based upon dad's absence from the country. This is best done before he departs, to avoid possible complications if he asserts his rights under the Servicemembers Civil Relief Act. I suggest consulting a family lawyer about bringing a motion, and an analysis of the facts of your case.

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Quoting jmjens2

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I don’t know about your state, but in Florida, custody remains with the step-parent even when the custodial parent is not at home. It’s to keep normalcy for the children while the custodial parent is away.

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Please share your legal authority for that claim. Where the custodial parent will be gone for two years, that would be tantamount to a grant of custody to a third party.

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Quoting Mr. Knowitall

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You would need to bring a petition to modify custody based upon dad's absence from the country. This is best done before he departs, to avoid possible complications if he asserts his rights under the Servicemembers Civil Relief Act. I suggest consulting a family lawyer about bringing a motion, and an analysis of the facts of your case.

Please share your legal authority for that claim. Where the custodial parent will be gone for two years, that would be tantamount to a grant of custody to a third party.

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Thank you Mr. Knowitall!!.. Finally someone understands and has given me some direction to take.. Thank you!:D

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Quoting Mr. Knowitall

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Please share your legal authority for that claim. Where the custodial parent will be gone for two years, that would be tantamount to a grant of custody to a third party.

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The lawyer at military legal aid on base reviewed our custody agreement and drew up all the paperwork for us. My ex never questioned the documents, but I doubt legal aid would inform us incorrectly. My deployment wasn't for a scheduled amount of time. I could have been back in six weeks or a year.

My situation is different than the OP, my ex hadn't seen the children in over five years and had at most three short calls per year to the children. The children were only six and seven at the time I deployed. Our custody agreement stated that I had to agree to any visitation request made by my ex. My ex wasn't present for any portion of the divorce, so the judge granted me everything I that asked for. In fact he told me to ask for what ever I wanted because there was no one there to contest it. (it was the 3rd time my ex didn't show)
FYI~ my ex signed over his parental rights and my current husband, the only father the children have know, adopted them.