Suing Parents Over Psychological Problems from Childhood

I have had alot of problems growing up. Mostly personal problems such as getting and keeping relationships, anger problems, detachment, and increased arousal. For the past couple of months I have been working at a summer camp where all my problems have really been coming into full effect. I was sent to a psychologist for the first time, and have learned that i have aquired hypervigilance from traumatic instances from my childhood. My real question is whether a parent causing a ptsd is reason for sueing. My parents and family does not yet know of my mental state, they have always just thought i was a "moody" person. What can i do and also in your opinion what should i do?

Don't force us to guess how old you are and what sort of trauma you're talking about, not to mention what state you're in.

Everybody has trauma during childhood.

i apologize i am new to this threaidng stuff. I am 18 years old. i have hypervigilance. i am about to be fired from my job because of the symptoms that i have been showing. mostly i cant sleep, cant concentrate, i overthink what people say or do (which causes me to detach because i keep feeling that im worthless) ive been depressed and angry, i hate people for reasons unkown to myself, since ive been at this camp for the past 35 days, i have lost 15 pounds. to punish me when i was younger my dad used to hit me with his belt. when he whould do so, i could tell it was just to feed his anger. he would transform into a monster, run up to my room, and i would close the door and wait for him to come. i would stand and watch him tear his belt from his waist, and he would hit me until either he wasnt mad anymore, or until he realized that i had been punished sufficiantly.

If your trying to sue your parents because, at some point in the distant past, your father used a belt to apply physical discipline, as far as I am aware that of itself is legal and permissible in every state. But you still haven't told us your state, despite the initial instruction and my reminder.

Oh Georgia sorry

Unless there was something extraordinary your father did, it sounds like a great percentage of the families I knew (including mine) when I was growing up. I can't tell you how many times I have been "whooped" with a belt. I make a joke of it now calling my dad the "fastest belt in the midwest". He could unbuckle his belt and whip it out of his pants faster than you could blink.

I know this is not a medical forum but when I went to read about hypervigilance, it said it was often a symptom of PTSD. I have known many folks with PTSD and many of them have found no relief in typical psychotherapy. . It is a method of psychotherapy that is relatively new. Many doctors brush it off. Some accept it. I have known some to respond to it, even when other methods have failed.

I'm not trying to diagnose you or anything, merely giving a little direction if you see fit.

best of luck to you. Get some treatment and move on with life. Dwelling on the past is not healthy once you expose the underlying basis for your problems. You deal with them and move on with life.

Contrary to what jk said, your father doesn't sound typical. It sounds like you were abused. Parents who use severe physical punishment to gratify their own anger are, by definition, abusing their children.

I don't know if you have a legal claim against your father. At this point, probably not, because it is unclear what your damages are. If you do have a legal claim, you would need to develop your case by developing a medical record. That's good, because you need psychiatric and psychological treatment anyway.

There is some precedent in the sexual abuse context for extending statutes of limitations for childhood abuse well into adulthood. I know in Missouri it extends up to age 30. That, of course, is for sexual abuse, which is likely what jk has in mind by "extraordinary," and, to my knowledge, no state currently recognizes a cause of action for childhood abuse other than childhood sexual abuse.

On the other hand, the tort of outrageous conduct is malleable, and logic and morality would dictate that in a severe enough case of physical, or even, frankly, emotional abuse, the rationale of the sexual abuse cases should be extended. And if the tort of outrageous conduct is extended from childhood sexual abuse to cover other forms of severe child abuse, then so should its pertinent statute of limitations.

Go to a psychiatrist. Get into therapy. Do not let anyone convince you that what happened to you is normal, acceptable, or okay. People don't like to accept that child abuse happens. They try to normalize it and minimize it when they hear about it. But what happened to you really happened, and it shouldn't have.

If, after a few years of therapy, you still feel like suing your father, talk to some lawyers. Try to find the most liberal lawyer you can, and one well-eduated in child abuse cases.

Best of luck to you.

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Quoting Mr. Knowitall

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Are we supposed to guess how old you are and what sort of trauma you're talking about? Not to mention what state you're in?

Everybody has trauma during childhood.

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Most people's "trauma" doesn't result in the symptoms he describes.

To decide what is an what is not abuse from a single internet post is, how can I say, improper.

From a legal standpoint, there is very little that can be done.

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=Baz744;332434]Contrary to what jk said, your father doesn't sound typical. It sounds like you were abused. Parents who use severe physical punishment to gratify their own anger are, by definition, abusing their children.

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while I will acknowledge that the OP may have been abused, realize that OP did state that the belt was used as a punishment. The OP never said punishment was not deserved at the time. Rather than dwelling on a claim that is almost certain to go nowhere in the courts, I felt it better to suggest the OP move on with life, get whatever treatment that may be indicated and not allow the childhood situation to cause them further problems.

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I don't know if you have a legal claim against your father. At this point, probably not, because it is unclear what your damages are. If you do have a legal claim, you would need to develop your case by developing a medical record. That's good, because you need psychiatric and psychological treatment anyway.

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I guess you have a problem reading. The damages are the affected psyche, you know, the hypervigilance due to the PTSD.

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There is some precedent in the sexual abuse context for extending statutes of limitations for childhood abuse well into adulthood. I know in Missouri it extends up to age 30. That, of course, is for sexual abuse, which is likely what jk has in mind by "extraordinary," and, to my knowledge, no state currently recognizes a cause of action for childhood abuse other than childhood sexual abuse.

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Don't put words in my mouth. I never said or inferred anything about sexual abuse. and you are wrong about no state recognizing a cause of action for abuse other than sexual.

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Go to a psychiatrist. Get into therapy. Do not let anyone convince you that what happened to you is normal, acceptable, or okay. People don't like to accept that child abuse happens. They try to normalize it and minimize it when they hear about it. But what happened to you really happened, and it shouldn't have.

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I am very involved with many people that are dealing with childhood abuse. I know what it is and I know what it isn't. The OP was not clear that what he received was abuse nor is there enough info to say that it wasn't. I merely related the fact that corporal punishment was very common up until a decade or two ago and that in itself is not justification for an action against dad.

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If, after a few years of therapy, you still feel like suing your father, talk to some lawyers. Try to find the most liberal lawyer you can, and one well-eduated in child abuse cases.

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sure, tell the guy to discover a reason to sue dad but while doing so, allow any possible SoL's to expire. Great, now you will have him wanting to sue dad but unable. He is really going to be upset after years of psychotherapy finding a way to sue dad and then getting shot down due to an expired SoL. Now he is going to go hunting for dad. Great advice.

SoL's for injuries are generally quite short once you get beyond a latent discovery situation. A couple years would be typical in most states and that is accepting the possibility that a latent discovery itself would allow for an initial extension of the SoL.

So, since a couple years is very likely, you have now suggested he go to therapy long enough to allow that to expire.

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Most people's "trauma" doesn't result in the symptoms he describes.

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each person is different. They react differently to any given stimuli. There are some people that claim to be screwed up because daddy did not buy them everything and there are people that have seen friends and family shot that are quite fine and normal. This person has described a possible abuse situation but due to the lack of info, it is impossible to tell.

What he describes could be simply; he was naughty; dad punished him; OP now has an overly aggressive therapist that tells everybody they are not liable for their own actions and always wants to find a person to blame for how their patient is.

What the OP describes is a very typical scenario for a person receiving therapy. You are fine; somebody else is to blame.

We have no objective perspective to this situation. All we have is the party of concern making some somewhat ambiguous statements. The situation could be quite typical and accepted or it could be something worse. We do not have nearly enough info to make a call either way and rather than directing a person to become a festering boil of anger seeking a way of punishing others, I believe it is much more productive to direct that person to a method of healing without causing injury to others which could just as easily cause themselves additional trauma and injury.

You do realize the OP claims to have discovered all of this in the last 35 days, yes? Seems a bit quick on the draw to make such a huge discovery. Not impossible but definitely on the aggressive side.

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Quoting cyjeff

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To decide what is an what is not abuse from a single internet post is, how can I say, improper.

From a legal standpoint, there is very little that can be done.

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Legally speaking, I do not know.

The symptoms OP describes, along with his father's conduct, strongly indicate to anyone with any real knowledge of the issue, a background of child abuse.

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Quoting jk

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while I will acknowledge that the OP may have been abused, realize that OP did state that the belt was used as a punishment. The OP never said punishment was not deserved at the time. Rather than dwelling on a claim that is almost certain to go nowhere in the courts, I felt it better to suggest the OP move on with life, get whatever treatment that may be indicated and not allow the childhood situation to cause them further problems.

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You did your best to make what happened to OP sound "normal," and like he was a weak person who just couldn't handle the kind of discipline that is routinely handed out to other kids. Your basic position: "other kids get beaten all the time. They suck it up and deal with it. Why can't you?" This attitude toward victims of child abuse is very destructive. OP was victimized. It happened. It was different than the normal type of childhood traumas and disappointments that people experience.

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I guess you have a problem reading. The damages are the affected psyche, you know, the hypervigilance due to the PTSD.

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I do not have a problem reading. As I stated, he needs to develop a medical record to have a case. That medical record will include information about his damaged psyche. In any event, this does not appear to be relevant to the discussion. You appear to have thrown this out there in a lame attempt to insult me.

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Don't put words in my mouth. I never said or inferred anything about sexual abuse. and you are wrong about no state recognizing a cause of action for abuse other than sexual.

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I was extrapolating from what I know of Missouri law, and I clear with my language, "to my knowledge," that I could be wrong.

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I am very involved with many people that are dealing with childhood abuse. I know what it is and I know what it isn't. The OP was not clear that what he received was abuse nor is there enough info to say that it wasn't. I merely related the fact that corporal punishment was very common up until a decade or two ago and that in itself is not justification for an action against dad.

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His father terrorized and beat him with a belt to gratify his anger. It was abuse. Even if you use corporal punishment, that's not the appropriate way to do it. Given the extremity of his symptoms, it is reasonable to infer there was more going on here.

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sure, tell the guy to discover a reason to sue dad but while doing so, allow any possible SoL's to expire. Great, now you will have him wanting to sue dad but unable. He is really going to be upset after years of psychotherapy finding a way to sue dad and then getting shot down due to an expired SoL. Now he is going to go hunting for dad. Great advice.

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As I said, in Missouri, SoL for childhood sexual abuse extends up to age 30. Maybe he should check whether there is a similar line of cases in Georgia.

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each person is different. They react differently to any given stimuli. There are some people that claim to be screwed up because daddy did not buy them everything and there are people that have seen friends and family shot that are quite fine and normal. This person has described a possible abuse situation but due to the lack of info, it is impossible to tell.

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No. The problem here isn't that OP is a weakling who needs to suck up the fact that his father was a monster who terrorized him with a belt. The problem here is that his father was a monster who terrorized him with a belt. Given the extent of his symptoms I promise you, that is just the tip of the iceberg of what happened to this guy. He suffered real abuse, leading to real trauma. He's not mad 'coz daddy didn't buy him a pony. He's psychically scarred because daddy was a cruel, excessive disciplinarian, and almost certainly more.

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What he describes could be simply; he was naughty; dad punished him; OP now has an overly aggressive therapist that tells everybody they are not liable for their own actions and always wants to find a person to blame for how their patient is.

What the OP describes is a very typical scenario for a person receiving therapy. You are fine; somebody else is to blame.

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No. The message of his therapist is, "you have real problems that need to be dealt with that result from a childhood of abuse." OP acknowledged and took responsibility for his own behavioral problems.

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We have no objective perspective to this situation. All we have is the party of concern making some somewhat ambiguous statements. The situation could be quite typical and accepted or it could be something worse. We do not have nearly enough info to make a call either way and rather than directing a person to become a festering boil of anger seeking a way of punishing others, I believe it is much more productive to direct that person to a method of healing without causing injury to others which could just as easily cause themselves additional trauma and injury.

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I'd say there's at least a small chance you actually believe what you're saying here. More likely, you don't have any real compassion, empathy, or understanding of what happens to cause the suffering of other people. Given your stereotypes of what psychotherapy is all about, I'd say the latter is more likely the case.

But on the off chance you actually believe you were being helpful...

In the future, realize that people really do get abused in childhood. Many of them have trouble articulating fully what happened to them. When they do, they blame themselves. That is the nature of parental authority over a child. You're getting beaten because you were a bad boy. Then, when you grow up, and you're not functioning because you don't have any stress tolerance because of your PTSD, people tell you, "everyone got spanked when they were kids. Suck it up and be a man."

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You do realize the OP claims to have discovered all of this in the last 35 days, yes? Seems a bit quick on the draw to make such a huge discovery. Not impossible but definitely on the aggressive side.

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This is part of the problem. People who are abused in childhood blame themselves for the abuse. They think they deserved to get beaten. And posts like yours do not help.

I was 29, and had been in therapy for three years before I realized that I had been abused. Contrary to your stereotypes of the psychotherapeutic profession, my therapist never told me I had been abused, even though I had been describing abuse to him the whole time I had been in therapy. When I finally realized that what had happened to me wasn't right or normal, and that the problem wasn't that I was a bad boy, but that my parents were cruel, sadistic people, my therapist finally said "I wondered when you were going to figure that out."

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You do realize the OP claims to have discovered all of this in the last 35 days, yes? Seems a bit quick on the draw to make such a huge discovery. Not impossible but definitely on the aggressive side.

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I didn't explain well enough what I meant in my response to this post of yours.

OP no doubt understood that he was beaten and terrorized. But what he didn't understand until recently was that what happened to him was abusive, and would cause him problems in adult life.