Parent Charging Rent

I'm concerned with the treatment my daughter's bf receives at home. He is 17 yrs old, goes to school and has a parttime job. Besides verbal abuse, one of the things his dad just came up with is charging him $200 a month for rent. I was wondering if thats legal to do. Also how can he get counseling when his dad and step mom won't allow him to.

Thank you,
Minnesota Mom

The age of majority in MN is 18, so let's assume parental liability ceases there.


It is most probably illegal.

In the back of my mind I heard of a state, which I think was Michigan, in which if the teen worked, the parent could take his/her salary, but ONLY with prior approval by the teen.

I saddens me to read this.

I grew up poor, and when I had my first job as a teenager, I was glad to bring the money home and help the family make ends meet. I'll be 61 years old this week, and I guess "helping the family out" is not only too old fashioned a notion, but as some may say "possibly illegal".

I'll be seeing my dad this weekend, and he'll get a good chuckle out of this 'brave new world".

It seem like the new thinking is kids growing up can do whatever they want, and parents need their permission. There are some some kids in my area who would have been better off helping the parents out with the bills, rather than go out and buy drugs with the money.

We have a nine year old now who refuses to do anything, and when asked to do homework, sticks her fingers in her ear and go "na na na na". My wife is going around looking for child psychiatrists, saying we may need threrapy.

I told her not to waste our money. All I'll do is when that rotten little girl comes and ask me for anything, I'll just stick my fingers in my ear and go "na na na ..".

And if she's 17, has money, and tells me she can't help with the bills, I'll tell her when she's 18, just get out of the house, go take care of her own bills, and just don't bother me anymore.

Quote:

---

Quoting SChinFChin

---

I saddens me to read this.

I grew up poor, and when I had my first job as a teenager, I was glad to bring the money home and help the family make ends meet. I'll be 61 years old this week, and I guess "helping the family out" is not only too old fashioned a notion, but as some may say "possibly illegal".

I'll be seeing my dad this weekend, and he'll get a good chuckle out of this 'brave new world".

It seem like the new thinking is kids growing up can do whatever they want, and parents need their permission. There are some some kids in my area who would have been better off helping the parents out with the bills, rather than go out and buy drugs with the money.

We have a nine year old now who refuses to do anything, and when asked to do homework, sticks her fingers in her ear and go "na na na na". My wife is going around looking for child psychiatrists, saying we may need threrapy.

I told her not to waste our money. All I'll do is when that rotten little girl comes and ask me for anything, I'll just stick my fingers in my ear and go "na na na ..".

And if she's 17, has money, and tells me she can't help with the bills, I'll tell her when she's 18, just get out of the house, go take care of her own bills, and just don't bother me anymore.

---

I completely agree. Oh, the horror. SChinChin, I'm younger than you are, but had some very old school parents. I had an afterschool job, and was made to pay "rent" and (the horror) pay for my own supplies, clothing and bills. I mean, do you know what my mean parents taught me? Among other things:

1. to budget
2. pay my bills on time
3. the value of a good credit rating
4. to go to work if I wanted "things"
5. be responsible with my money
6. don't take for granted that mom and dad will bail you out and give you what you want

Lo and behold, I was able to move out at 19, take care of myself, never find myself on welfare, support my children, earn a degree or two, have a career and I thank my parents for all this "abuse." I intend on abusing my youngest the same way.


And I won't even get into how the OP should mind her own business..... :rolleyes:

Quote:

---

Quoting BOR

---

The age of majority in MN is 18, so let's assume parental liability ceases there.


It is most probably illegal.

---

Why? Evicting a minor child would not be possible, but I don't know of any state where a parent can't ask a minor child to contribute to the household.

I normally would agree with the above two posts but in this case it's really much more. In this case the father is very well to do and this isn't about money to help the family. The father is abusive and the whole neighborhood has witnessed this man's anger and rage. The mental and verbal abuse this young man has to deal with on a daily basis is so heartbreaking. The question asked about the legality of having to pay rent as a minor was to see if there was another angle to help him.

If the parent is being abusive you should call your local child protection agency. They will investigate the situation and can request a judge order counseling when appropriate.

Unfortunately parents really are legally allowed to be most things, other than physically abusive or neglectful (no food in the house, no running water, no clothes, etc.). They can call names, curse, rant, rave, yell, and generally be an unpleasant person all around. Short of physical abuse or neglect, the level of behavior needed to meet the VERY high standard of emotional abuse would typically involve very serious crimes (prostituting a child, exposing them to violent acts like axe murders, and so forth). But having your everyday garden variety raging asshole as a parent isn't going to stir action I'm afraid. A better course of action is to get someone to help the minor to figure out how to change the only thing they have any control over to help the sitation; which is themselves. That could be anything from getting counseling (there's a whole department at school called "Guidance"; and they don't just do academic guidance), to building coping skills, to getting a job (which would kill two birds with one stone, enabling him to pay what dad has asked, AND getting him out of the house and away from dad at least for periods of time). There really isn't some magic philosophical answer that's going to change the situation. He needs to focus on what HE can actually DO to get through it (it's that whole thing about choosing to be right, or choosing to be happy, because they're rarely the same thing). He can even check out or get interlibrary loan of any of the many thousands of titles available on parent/teen conflict (he can find titles he's interested in at places like amazon.com and then ask his local city or county library to get them for him).

If actions during his fits of rage or anger cross the line into crimes, then 911 can be used by the victim, neighbors, the homeless guy under the bridge, or anyone else who has knowledge of a crime.

Yes, dad can ask him to contribute, even if the money isn't needed - it's only been the last 100 years that families have even been ABLE to survive without ALL members of the family working - and asking a 17 year old to do so will be completely kosher in court. It's not like dad's got him chained to a table in a sweatshop.

Teens are NOT at a stage of brain development that is conducive to decision making, particularly in evaluating long term consequences of their actions; which is exactly why some teens do strange things, like making babies, committing crimes, driving recklessly, or doing drugs, for instance. Maybe dad is concerned about what his child is doing when he's not being supervised and this whole job issue could be dad's way of getting his kid someplace where his time can relatively sure that his kid won't be getting into those types of trouble. What dad can NOT do is throw him out if he doesn't pay. What dad CAN do is make his life hell - legally - in LOTS of ways - until he's 18. So we get back to that same issue: being right, or being happy.

Quote:

---

Quoting MaddysMom

---

I normally would agree with the above two posts but in this case it's really much more. In this case the father is very well to do and this isn't about money to help the family.

---

For the record, my parents were/are well off as well. The amount of money they have has nothing to do with teaching responsibility.

However, I still second my advice to mind your own business. Surely there is something going on in your family/household that could occupy your time.

Quote:

---

Quoting Mr. Knowitall

---

Why? Evicting a minor child would not be possible, but I don't know of any state where a parent can't ask a minor child to contribute to the household.

---

She did not say he was "asking", she said he IS charging him rent money.

Quote:

---

Quoting MaddysMom

---

I normally would agree with the above two posts but in this case it's really much more. In this case the father is very well to do and this isn't about money to help the family. The father is abusive and the whole neighborhood has witnessed this man's anger and rage. The mental and verbal abuse this young man has to deal with on a daily basis is so heartbreaking. The question asked about the legality of having to pay rent as a minor was to see if there was another angle to help him.

---

If you want to make it your business, that is your business, it is no ones here to tell you to butt out.