Virginia ASL-1315-M1

My question involves criminal law for the state of: Virginia
Last night my fiance and I got into an altercation at a hotel we are staying at in Fredericksburg, VA. It was just verbal at first then he pushed me and I hit the ground face first and either broke my nose or damaged it badly, as it started bleeding all over the place. As soon as I was able to stand up I walked out of the room trying to get to the lobby where I could get a separate room since we were sharing a room. When I got out there though, they called the sheriff's. When the sheriff's got there they talked to me and him separately. They arrested him but then told me that they had to arrest me also because he had some scratches on him from when I tried to defend myself. Apparently even though it was self defense as long as he had marks at all on him both of us were getting arrested. They took us both then in separate cars to see the Magistrate. She spoke to each of us and decided to charge me with a class 1 misdemeanor crime code ASL-1315-M1, and him with a class 3 felony. They took him to jail and took me for fingerprinting and told me that we would have to appear in court for an arraignment in 6 days. We both live on the west coast and were just here for two weeks while he had training and as a mini-vacation. Now they tell me that we are going to be going up against one another in court, not each of us speaking to the judge separately. We aren't even aloud to speak to one another or see each other for 4 days. I never meant for things to get this of hand, I just wanted to get a separate hotel room to cool off. Now our world is turned upside down! I don't want him to go to jail, and I certainly don't want to either. How is it just that I may have to go to jail for defending myself in an altercation? Neither of us meant for the argument to get that far, and now I don't know what will happen. I don't know if I need to get a lawyer or what I need to do. I don't want to go up against him and have to stick it to him in order to make sure I don't get charged. On top of all of that, since we live on the west coast I do not know how this will work. Somehow we have to already stay longer here for the arraignment alone, and not sure about how further court dates may work if I have to fly back here. I cannot afford that! We didn't, and I didn't want it to get this far. What can I do? Please help me, my world is flipped upside down and I don't know what to do!

Once the law gets involved it is out of your hands in a sense. From what I've learned in the past week in my own dv ordeal, it is not up to you to press charges or drop charges esp. if you scratched him. It all depends on the DA. I was told that if I would've scratched or bit my husband I could go to jail as well. They look at the physical evidence and it shows that you hurt him as well (although not as bad obviously). They take domestic violence extremely seriously no matter who the perpetrator. Charges might also be dropped in both cases, I'm not sure. Good luck with the arraignment. You might just have to pay a fine, or be put on probation, or something! I do not know much except from personal experience alone.